board issues

System

I tend to think it shouldnt matter how much the adult child earns... board should be charged on what it costs to keep them at home.

Pollycat

FBaby wrote: »

I agree with takman, I don't understand why this is such a matter of debate. They really are two types of young people still living with their parents. The lazy who want it easy in every way, so when mum cooks, clean, and only ask for £50 a week or even better nothing at all, what would possibly be the incentive to move into your own place? Unfortunately, I do think there are more and more young adults with an incredible sense of entitlement who really believe they should still be the responsibility of their parents, whilst some parents encourages it because better to get £200 a month than nothing when they've had to deal with the cut of their tax credits.

Then you have the very responsible youngsters, who know that the earlier you can invest in property, the most stable your investment will be and are on a mission to put any penny aside to become a home owner asap and therefore stay as short a time at their parents.

Personally, my kids can forget about fitting into the first category, but considering I have made them wash their clothes, iron, clean etc... since they were able to do so, and I am not the overly mother type anyway, I think the only motivation they would have to stay here is indeed to be able to afford to move as quickly as possible!

I made the same point on the other 'board' thread (MMD):

Pollycat wrote: »

There's a new thread from a poster who's asked her daughter - earning £21k pa - to pay £250 pcm board.
Daughter is not happy.

Where do these adult children get such a sense of entitlement from?

maman wrote: »

I seem to be in an ever shrinking minority on this issue but, to me, it's not about whether she can afford it (she obviously can) but that as a parent I wouldn't want her to pay.

I think if adult children are willing to pay board that's very different to them not expecting to or even worse - resenting - being asked to pay board.

maman

Judi wrote: »

I tend to think it shouldnt matter how much the adult child earns... board should be charged on what it costs to keep them at home.

That's a fair and pragmatic way of looking at it. I can't see us getting any further with this though as OP hasn't been back to tell us what she's basing her request on.


Strangely enough, after many years since our children have left home we have the possibility that our DGD might be coming to stay weeknights. She's looking seriously at a college near us. Other than an extra portion at meal times and maybe some additional wash loads/showers it wouldn't cost us an extra penny. Certainly not £250 a month. She/her parents will pay for her clothes/travel just as OP's child would pay from her earnings.

pollypenny

Absolutely, barbiedoll.

DS ate more than OH and me combined. These were meals which were on the table for him as he arrived home, too.

Both my two paid board, then we were able to help them with deposits when they bought their houses.

Edit oops , I should have quoted .

pollypenny

sew_what wrote: »

e) The parents who have scrimped and saved to put their child through uni because their student loan isn't enough to live on and had hoped to downsize & reduce their living costs but find themselves still needing a bigger house.

I'm in the "if you're an adult earning a wage you should contribute to the household" camp!

Back in the late 80s and 90s it was a case of parents expected to support their student kids if the family income was too great for a grant. Students were not allowed to claim benefits after about 1986, so accommodation was an horrendous cost.

DD had £20 the first year. We had too much income for a decent grant, but not enough to prevent it being a struggle. As she graduated, DS went to uni, so another 4 years of counting every penny.

seashore22

cloudy-day wrote: »

Totally agree with what you meant to say.....but 'Quilt Trip'?? That sounds lovely on this chilly morning!!

Oops. Thanks for the heads up, although I'm more of a knitter myself.

peachyprice

Judi wrote: »

I tend to think it shouldnt matter how much the adult child earns... board should be charged on what it costs to keep them at home.

Which in reality for a 21 year old our at work all day, buying their own clothes and luxuries and hopefully an active social life, is really not that much at all.

One of my sons moved out last summer, do you know how much cheaper our bills and food are now? They're not, it hasn't made a blind bit of difference him not being here.

svain

Judi wrote: »

I tend to think it shouldnt matter how much the adult child earns... board should be charged on what it costs to keep them at home.

Totally agree

silvercar

pollypenny wrote: »

Back in the late 80s and 90s it was a case of parents expected to support their student kids if the family income was too great for a grant.

It isn't much different now. The means tested element of the student loan assumes that the parents will pay the difference.

While it hasn't been explicitly said by the government, in a lot of student towns, the loan isn't sufficient to pay for rent and other costs, so unless parents chip in/ student has savings/ is on a course where it is possible to work part time, students will struggle to manage.

yllop1101

I moved back home after university for a few months, and returned sometimes in between changing rental flats.

I was earning between 18k to 23k over a few years, and I believe I paid £50 per week, which ironically, is what my parents gave to me when I was at University as an allowance.

I therefore felt this was a very fair repayment, although they 100% did not need the money, I did not begrudge them of it. Having lived out in between and paid up to £600 a month for rent, food and bills, this was considerably cheaper and I know better than to look a gift horse in the mouth!