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peachyprice wrote: »

Which in reality for a 21 year old our at work all day, buying their own clothes and luxuries and hopefully an active social life, is really not that much at all.

One of my sons moved out last summer, do you know how much cheaper our bills and food are now? They're not, it hasn't made a blind bit of difference him not being here.

I can identify with that. With one Son left at home when i recon how much he costs us, its not really a lot. His bedroom would be heated whether he lives at home or not. He has one shower a day, eats out a lot of the time, ok theres the electricity he uses in his room and his laundry but that goes in with mine and his Dads anyway and actually, he is quite good company.

For us, £30 a week is satisfactory for what he costs us.

FBaby

e) The parents who have scrimped and saved to put their child through uni because their student loan isn't enough to live on and had hoped to downsize & reduce their living costs but find themselves still needing a bigger house.

Surely if they'd planned to downsize, they should have gone ahead with it. Seems silly to restrict themselves and struggle financially because their child can't be bothered to enter adulthood and start looking after themselves.

As for the parents who charge because they are jealous of their kids' income? Surely this is very very rare. Who would want to live with such parents in the first place.

Which in reality for a 21 year old our at work all day, buying their own clothes and luxuries and hopefully an active social life, is really not that much at all.

This is where I would have an issue, if one of my kids decided to stay at home because even if they contributed, it would be minimal compared to what they would pay if they moved out, so that they could afford luxuries and an active social life. This is not a good reason to stay at home and I wouldn't condone it as this would be teaching them that it's ok to put luxuries and fun ahead of responsibilities.

I'm quite shock when I hear of 20yo earning £20K buying brand new fancy cars and going on fancy holiday until you learn that they still live at their parents and pay nothing. No surprise they don't want to ever move out, no surprise those are the ones who end up with massive debts by the time they are 30 when they finally move out.

onomatopoeia99

Has ROSEPUNKY returned to this topic to acknowledge the responses yet?

Pollycat

onomatopoeia99 wrote: »

Has ROSEPUNKY returned to this topic to acknowledge the responses yet?

The OP logged on earlier this afternoon but logged off without making any response.

badmemory

Perhaps reading & seeing some of the criticism was enough not to want to come back.

Pollycat

badmemory wrote: »

Perhaps reading & seeing some of the criticism was enough not to want to come back.

In fairness, there's been criticism of the OP for wanting to charge her daughter to live at home and criticism of the daughter for thinking £250 pm is 'extortionate' and refusing to pay it.

That's the nature of public fora.
You ask for advice and, more often than not, you get conflicting opinions - which is what's happened here.

maman

Pollycat wrote: »

In fairness, there's been criticism of the OP for wanting to charge her daughter to live at home and criticism of the daughter for thinking £250 pm is 'extortionate' and refusing to pay it.

That's the nature of public fora.
You ask for advice and, more often than not, you get conflicting opinions - which is what's happened here.

You're right but that's no bad thing. Surely what you do is read the range of opinions then make up your own mind which (if any) to act on. Of course it's OP's prerogative not to come back to the thread she's started but it's a shame that when posters don't answer questions then the opinions offered can only be very general so not necessarily applicable to the specific situation.

FBaby wrote: »

This is where I would have an issue, if one of my kids decided to stay at home because even if they contributed, it would be minimal compared to what they would pay if they moved out, so that they could afford luxuries and an active social life. This is not a good reason to stay at home and I wouldn't condone it as this would be teaching them that it's ok to put luxuries and fun ahead of responsibilities.

I'm quite shock when I hear of 20yo earning £20K buying brand new fancy cars and going on fancy holiday until you learn that they still live at their parents and pay nothing. No surprise they don't want to ever move out, no surprise those are the ones who end up with massive debts by the time they are 30 when they finally move out.

I took luxuries in the original post to mean things like toiletries they might buy over and above the bog standard stuff you'd add to a grocery bill or their own phone/tablet/laptop rather than extravagant living. Personally, while I wouldn't begrudge my child the odd holiday or running a car or socialising with friends I would expect them to be responsible and hopefully save but definitely not get into debt.

Pollycat

maman wrote: »

You're right but that's no bad thing. Surely what you do is read the range of opinions then make up your own mind which (if any) to act on. Of course it's OP's prerogative not to come back to the thread she's started but it's a shame that when posters don't answer questions then the opinions offered can only be very general so not necessarily applicable to the specific situation.

Of course it's no bad thing.

I was merely commenting on another post which said the OP had maybe not returned to the thread because of the critical opinions - which I just pointed out went both ways.

Starrystarrynight1

She'll be taking home around £1460 per month, after tax, NI & student loan deductions, which is pretty healthy for someone straight out of university, so I think £250 is very reasonable. She won't have many other costs, maybe a car, and that leaves plenty left over for her to save a good amount for a future home deposit.

If she's refusing to pay, maybe sit down with her, go on Rightmove etc and see how much flats are renting for in the area just now, how much council tax, water rates etc are, so she can see just how much of that £1460 would be swallowed up each month if you were to ask her to leave.