Should I be paying for everything?

theEnd

Penny_Pott wrote: »

What's an SOA please?
In my monthly expenditure, I have a savings account that I put money away for that's for spending money for holidays etc. I put £90pm away each month to pay for the upcoming Xmas. I put £150 into a 'house' fund that pays for any home improvements.

As this is all coming out of the pot that he pays into, wouldn't he expect that he's already paid for holidays and xmas and home improvements?

If it's short, you need to cutback or he pays in more.

Soot2006

Indeed, t'was sarcastic. Pls don't get more debt on my account.

More seriously, how many of you were on this holiday as it sounds quite expensive and you mentioned it was the cheapest you could find. Perhaps set a couple's goal of saving up sufficient money (not borrowing!) to go on the family holiday with the two kids but in the meantime enjoy some cheaper city breaks or last minute deals together if you're desperate to get away.

Mojisola

Penny_Pott wrote: »

It's all just expanded. I had 2 pets before, now we have 4 so the cost of insurance, flea treatments, food etc has doubled.

I added his mobile phone onto my account.

The Tv's are on credit on my account.

Excess spending goes on my credit cards because he doesn't have one (that I know of).

And no, if he disappeared I wouldn't afford it.

When you list it all like that, aren't you at least starting to realise that he's taking advantage of you?

hazyjo

Am I the only one who thinks that him giving you £900pm is generous? Asked earlier if that figure is half of the mortgage too - basically, it shouldn't be as he's not owning half your house.

Izadora

hazyjo wrote: »

Am I the only one who thinks that him giving you £900pm is generous?

No, you're not. If the bills are £1,500 a month then he's paying considerably more than half and may well think that the amount he's paying should be putting more than enough into a savings pot for them to afford the holidays, TVs etc.

Rosieandjim

:eek:


You must be mad putting all that on your credit accounts. I would be running for the hills


I can just see the look on Judge Judy's face if she was in front of you.

davidwood123

Izadora wrote: »

No, you're not. If the bills are £1,500 a month then he's paying considerably more than half and may well think that the amount he's paying should be putting more than enough into a savings pot for them to afford the holidays, TVs etc.

I seem to remember a thread a few weeks ago about a girl who saved her wages for a joint house purchase whilst her boyfriend paid the mortgage himself.

When they split he wanted a share of the saved money....I agreed but was shot down on here because apparently she shouldn't be paying anything towards the mortgage in the first place (it was in his name) so the money saved is hers alone.

If the same rules that the (dare I say it) women on here seem to consider fair, apply in this case then the OP's partner shouldn't be paying a bean towards the mortgage

SeduLOUs

davidwood123 wrote: »

I seem to remember a thread a few weeks ago about a girl who saved her wages for a joint house purchase whilst her boyfriend paid the mortgage himself.

When they split he wanted a share of the saved money....I agreed but was shot down on here because apparently she shouldn't be paying anything towards the mortgage in the first place (it was in his name) so the money saved is hers alone.

If the same rules that the (dare I say it) women on here seem to consider fair, apply in this case then the OP's partner shouldn't be paying a bean towards the mortgage

This is what I'm personally having difficulty figuring out. I'm buying a house solo, and my partner will be moving in. It's a fairly new relationship which is why I want to do it alone, but the intention is that it will all work out rosy and the mortgage will become joint at some point in the long term future.

Part of me strongly believes he shouldn't contribute to the mortgage as it's my house, and if we break up he just walks away and I stay put.

But is it fair for him to not pay anything at all, not even a nominal rent? He wouldn't be able to live rent free anywhere else, not even his parents...

As I have a big deposit, even if he paid half the mortgage value it would be way way cheaper for him than even a basic room in a house share (the mortgage payment will be around £200 per month).

If it all works out in the end it doesn't really matter at all, but if we break up in 2 years time, yes I get to keep the house, but he'll have lived rent free thanks to me for all that time. That somehow doesn't seem 'fair'.

Mojisola

davidwood123 wrote: »

I seem to remember a thread a few weeks ago about a girl who saved her wages for a joint house purchase whilst her boyfriend paid the mortgage himself.

When they split he wanted a share of the saved money....I agreed but was shot down on here because apparently she shouldn't be paying anything towards the mortgage in the first place (it was in his name) so the money saved is hers alone.

If the same rules that the (dare I say it) women on here seem to consider fair, apply in this case then the OP's partner shouldn't be paying a bean towards the mortgage

Paying towards your partner's mortgage creates a dilemma.

If the GF in the couple who split had handed over mortgage money, it would have potentially given her some beneficial rights to the house.

It might be that Penny Pott's OH knows this and is paying towards the mortgage (while getting her to pay his share of other things) so that he can make a claim on the house if they split up.

davidwood123

SeduLOUs wrote: »

This is what I'm personally having difficulty figuring out. I'm buying a house solo, and my partner will be moving in. It's a fairly new relationship which is why I want to do it alone, but the intention is that it will all work out rosy and the mortgage will become joint at some point in the long term future.

Part of me strongly believes he shouldn't contribute to the mortgage as it's my house, and if we break up he just walks away and I stay put.

But is it fair for him to not pay anything at all, not even a nominal rent? He wouldn't be able to live rent free anywhere else, not even his parents...

As I have a big deposit, even if he paid half the mortgage value it would be way way cheaper for him than even a basic room in a house share (the mortgage payment will be around £200 per month).

If it all works out in the end it doesn't really matter at all, but if we break up in 2 years time, yes I get to keep the house, but he'll have lived rent free thanks to me for all that time. That somehow doesn't seem 'fair'.

On the thread I mentioned people said the only thing she possibly should have paid towards the mortgage was half the interest.

I suggested she lived there for free for a number of years so should at least give him some of the money saved.

Apparently I was wrong in my suggestion according to the Marriage, Relationship and Family thread posters.

I also suggested that if the sexes were reversed said posters would have a different opinion.

This thread proved me right :money: