Living with parents in middle age

Primrose

Perhaps some people actually really LIKE and ENJOY the company of their parents, and in the absence of any suitable partner with whom to share their life, who is to judge that this is an unreasonable or unacceptable state of affairs?


Also for many people, circumstances beyond their control make this the most suitable and sensible option. I don't think OP should judge unless she knows the background.

ThemeOne

A friend of mine has always lived with his parents, who are now into their 80s, so no doubt always will, and will presumably inherit the house after they pass and carry on living there.

I've always thought it was a bit odd, to be honest, especially since he's been on a good salary for years and was of the generation where it wasn't so financially challenging to leave home.

I'd always assumed he got on really well with his parents, but more recently he's told me he only really got on with one of them, so I'm at a bit of a loss why he stayed.

I couldn't wait to leave the parental home and yes, personally, it would put me off someone if I found out they'd never left home. I would assume it meant they lacked ambition. I know that's judgemental, but just being honest about how it would make me feel.

NeilCr

My mum's partner lived with his mum until she died. His dad had passed away at a young age and, at that time, he'd promised his mum that he would stay with her forever. Being a very decent, very kind (still is although my mum died many years ago) man he honoured his vow. His mum lived til she was 101, though!

Although they finally split up he was a great partner for my mum. They fitted together well - she didn't want to live with anyone again so, in many ways, it suited them both.

I don't think you can judge until you know the whole story

Gavin83

Primrose wrote: »

Perhaps some people actually really LIKE and ENJOY the company of their parents, and in the absence of any suitable partner with whom to share their life, who is to judge that this is an unreasonable or unacceptable state of affairs?

That's fine although they have to accept that this'll be heavily contributing to them not having a partner. If it's someone who's happy being single then I see no issue.

pearl123

Primrose wrote: »

Perhaps some people actually really LIKE and ENJOY the company of their parents, and in the absence of any suitable partner with whom to share their life, who is to judge that this is an unreasonable or unacceptable state of affairs?


Also for many people, circumstances beyond their control make this the most suitable and sensible option. I don't think OP should judge unless she knows the background.

It is entirely possible to live with a parent and have a long-standing relationship/partner outside the parents home.

determined_new_ms

My partner is Brazilian and due to various factors there - lack of housing, lack of jobs or more likely low paying jobs, poverty, no welfare state provision, it is the norm that a vast amount of people live with their extended family well into 30s and beyond. With the housing situation as it is this will just become more and more of a common thing in Britain too. Might even help with a lot of the social isolation we experience in the west

martinsurrey

pearl123 wrote: »

You sound highly judgemental.
There are many ways to live this life. At no age does it become ridiculous to stay with parents. There is no ideal way to live this life!

Clearly, there are many reasons why people remain at home with their parents, including cultural, disability, income and caring responsibilities to name but a few.

Plus real love is not mapped out, into an ideal age and living circumstances. That sounds closer to status.

To me OP sounds considerably younger than mid 30's.

I love this comment...

Starts off saying the OP is judgmental, and then judges the OP at the end.

Says there is no right way to live life, implies that OP is wrong for the way they want to live their live.

cant make it up!

ska_lover

gettingtheresometime wrote: »

So you'd dismiss someone just because they lived with their parents?


That's a little judgemental isn't it?


Perhaps they can see the financial benefits of living with their parents!

Unless a person has extenuating circumstances, having parents subsidize your lifestyle beyond 30 years old is insane, and taking advantage out of your parents, I mean do these people expect an easy ride off their parents backs until their parents die?




I would be put off of a prospective boyfriend or partner. As there is so much more to it than just living with their parents - it is about life skills and the possibility of not being a very good partner on an even level because the guy has never had to face responsibility for himself


It would make him seem like you cannot cope on your own either paying your bills or basic tasks like self care looking after yourself. And definitely not a good prospective partner


What kind of adult life partner are they going to make, if they still need parental support in their 30s for example - it is just not attractive plain and simple.


Little boys who have never grown up because mummy and daddy still subsidize their lifestyle are never going to be attractive - ever.


Call me judgmental but these men are never going to have women flocking

ska_lover

moneyistooshorttomention wrote: »

Errrm...I dont think OP was just on about men.

People (of either sex) really should move out at some point in their 20s (I'm thinking early 20s basically). People (of either sex) are going to look a bit odd staying put with parents up into their 30s.

Why would it vary according to what sex their body is? It's the 21st century. I hold the same viewpoint about any and every sex (male, female and all points in between).

Did you actually read the OP - I was responding to post one, where the op asks


'Is it viewed as worse for men? '






It doesn't seem you read the post, just trying to pick an argument out of your own imagination.


Blocked

pearl123

ska_lover wrote: »

Unless a person has extenuating circumstances, having parents subsidize your lifestyle beyond 30 years old is insane, and taking advantage out of your parents, I mean do these people expect an easy ride off their parents backs until their parents die?




I would be put off of a prospective boyfriend or partner. As there is so much more to it than just living with their parents - it is about life skills and the possibility of not being a very good partner on an even level because the guy has never had to face responsibility for himself


It would make him seem like you cannot cope on your own either paying your bills or basic tasks like self care looking after yourself. And definitely not a good prospective partner


What kind of adult life partner are they going to make, if they still need parental support in their 30s for example - it is just not attractive plain and simple.


Little boys who have never grown up because mummy and daddy still subsidize their lifestyle are never going to be attractive - ever.


Call me judgmental but these men are never going to have women flocking

Many actors have chosen to stay with their parents. A fast google will give a list.
Bradly Cooper for example stayed with his Mum because her husband passed away. I don't think he has been short of female attention.
Plus of course it does not seem to have affected his career.