Living with parents in middle age

IAmWales

AubreyMac wrote: »

Last week I met someone whose 47 year old brother still lives with parents.


I know nowadays with the increased difficulty in buying your own home means that it's normal to hear of people at the age of 30 still living with parents.


But at what age does living with parents become ridiculous?


Is it viewed as worse for men?


I moved out for the first time at age 25 into private rented property then I went back and forth to parents until I finally managed to buy my own flat when I was 31.


It is one of my requirements in a partner to not live with parents, but then at my age (mid 30's) I want a partner older than me - say max age 40, I think anyone that age living with parents is just pathetic especially if they've never moved out before. To me I would think they are lazy and lack ambition.


One of my best friends is 38 and has never been able to live by herself and since the age of 18 has just rented various rooms on the private rental market. She wishes now that she just stayed with her parents as she may have saved enough money to buy her own place.

If you want ridiculous, look at your own attitude. Your narrow mindedness is not going to make you an attractive partner!

silverwhistle

Primrose wrote: »

I think one of the drivers for people moving out from their parents' home is to have an independent life. I would imagine that as soon as members of the opposite sex become a regular feature of their lives, people would want some privacy and move out from under their parents' noses.

Perhaps, particularly if the older generation are involved, also members of the same sex?

moneyistooshorttomention

ska_lover wrote: »

Sorry this is confusing to me (maybe I am thick) has your friend lived by herself, or not? Renting is still 'living by yourself' isn't it, or is it less valid if you rent and not buy?


In terms of looking for a partner, IMO, anything above late 20s comes across as a bit mummys boy-ish and off-putting to a future relationship. Especially, like you say, if he had never moved out before or even seems to want to. A woman wants a man, not a boy who cant cope without parental help well into adulthood


It would put me off if I met a guy in his 30s who still lived with his parents - he wouldn't have to own a place though


Being 47 and living with parents is just sad, sad for all parties concerned

Errrm...I dont think OP was just on about men.

People (of either sex) really should move out at some point in their 20s (I'm thinking early 20s basically). People (of either sex) are going to look a bit odd staying put with parents up into their 30s.

Why would it vary according to what sex their body is? It's the 21st century. I hold the same viewpoint about any and every sex (male, female and all points in between).

Ronaldo_Mconaldo

IAmWales wrote: »

Who do you suggest looks after the disabled person? Are you saying all carers are pathetic?

Yes, yes, tell that to whichever woman he manages to pull in the pub some time that shows the slightest interest in going home with him. I'm sure she'll be well bothered he's got a fancy PHD when he's living at home with his parents.

Hermia

I wouldn't worry about someone living with parents so much as what their role is in the household. I have met guys in their 40s who have never cooked a meal or washed their clothes because mum does it. They have also never dealt with utility bills or council tax because their parents do all the 'admin' for the house. I would run screaming from someone like that because I don't want to be someone's mum and I don't want to have to teach someone to be an adult. My friend married someone like this and she said it was so tiring having to teach someone how to do basic life tasks. On the other hand I know people who moved back home to save for a house and very much lived as an adult and pulled their weight.

worried_jim

Where to begin?

My sister is 41, has had her own places, lived and worked in Australia and Barbados. Lived with a bf for three years (only coooked one meal during that time, a fish finger sandwich). She runs her own successful business which employs one other ft person yet she has been back home for about five years and loves it!

I believe that she has never used the washing machine herself, eaten a piece of fruit or gone a day without eating some form of potato product, I believe micro chips to be top of the list.

Everyday is the pub by 16:00, my retired Dad loves it, I'm not too sure about my poor Mum. As I've been typing this she has sent me snapchats from the pub as per usual. She is dead funny but just really doesn't give a rats what other people think. I can't see her ever moving out. Ever.

KxMx

If there is no financial or medical barrier, and they have never left at all, then yes i would find that weird.

At 30 I am desperate to be gone but both medical and financial reasons prevent me just now!

Red-Squirrel_2

AubreyMac wrote: »

To me I would think they are lazy and lack ambition.

I moved out for uni at 18. I still lack ambition and can be fairly lazy at times!

barbarawright

You sometimes see on the Loans board, blokes who have borrowed £20,000 to buy a flash car and whose budget doesn't doesn't include any rent at all and who are planning to keep it that way for the 5 years it takes them to pay off the car loan. Because there's no aphrodisiac like a Jaguar parked in the parents' front drive...

gettingtheresometime

AubreyMac wrote: »

It is one of my requirements in a partner to not live with parents, but then at my age (mid 30's) I want a partner older than me - say max age 40, I think anyone that age living with parents is just pathetic especially if they've never moved out before. To me I would think they are lazy and lack ambition.


.

So you'd dismiss someone just because they lived with their parents?


That's a little judgemental isn't it?


Perhaps they can see the financial benefits of living with their parents!