Met someone else......

System

Not that I'm condoning what you've done but a long term relationship consists of a bit more than maybe 1 meeting a week I'd have thought.

I'd have thought what you had wasn't any more than a friendship and didn't meet your needs.

Pity you didn't realize this before you asked for this new woman's number.

beautiful_ravens

If I was the new lady, and I found out the truth, Id be REALLY ANNOYED. I'd like to be able to choose whether to be someone elses affair, thanks. You have strung her along with lies.

If I was the long distance partner and I found out about this affair Id be REALLY ANNOYED and it would be a right kick in the teeth, plus that whole 'being left for a younger model' thing.

OP should have done the right thing from the start, now youre asking which one shall I choose? Yep, cherry pick those relationships.

I met someone else at the end of my deadend relationship with my ex. New guy knew my situation. We did not do anything, especially anything physical, until I had officially seperated with my ex. I have not had to live with any guilt about cheating. I basically did the right thing and have a clear concience, and everyone else knows whats true, too.

So my comment [not really advice] is that youve already effed both relationships up and theres no bright future in either direction, with or without lying.

ceegee

What an appalling way to treat both of these poor women. You obviously have no respect for either of them. All you are interested in is yourself. Frankly, and on the basis of what you have written, you are a disgusting specimen of a man and I hope that both of these women can eventually each find a decent man.

Lazarus_Blackstar

So............You are in a long term relationship. You are cheating on your partner. You are deceiving your bit on the side.
You think it isn't an affair???? What leads you to believe this?

My god yes it IS an affair.
C'mon, do the right thing, man up & confess now, otherwise it will all backfire on you at a later date.
Yes you will probably loose both of them, but it's better than stringing them along under false pretences.

I would want to kick you right in the crown jewels if I was your other half.

twiglet98

The only consistent feature of all your dysfunctional relationships is you.

Sam_Fallow

Samuelsjourney wrote: »

I suppose I'm at a crossroads in life.

I think you were at the crossroads when you first met this new lady.

You have already chosen a path, now you are wondering if it's the right one.

FBaby

Some people seem to approach their love life no differently to how they go about picking a car!

BrassicWoman

Depends if you fancy being a stepdad to stroppy teens, I guess

And if it's anything other than puppy love

Problem is, you won't find out either until you give up what you have.

You should definitely tell long term partner. You are putting her at risk of STDs and it is unfair not to let her be in control of her own health decisions. No contraceptive is 100% protection.

chesky

You most certainly are a weak man. You're so gutless that you haven't ended your long-term relationship, despite 'not loving her as much as I should'. No, you haven't the strength to be on your own. You wait for your next victim to come along so you can hop from one relationship to the next without having a break. You're obviously frightened of being alone and of having the time to consider the sort of human being you really are.

Pollycat

FBaby wrote: »

Some people seem to approach their love life no differently to how they go about picking a car!

Or in the OP's case, with even less thought.

Samuelsjourney wrote: »

Recently I spoke with a woman who I know through work but who hadn't really seen her until she was there casually dressed picking up some work stuff on her day off. She looked stunning, chatty etc. I asked for her number and we have been out together for lunch, coffee, hanging out together.

Saw it, wanted it, bedded it.

Incidentally, does someone approaching 50 really use the term 'hanging out together'? :rotfl: