Met someone else......

therealhyper

Samuelsjourney wrote: »

Hi, a long term MSE follower and poster on a number of boards on this site. Posting under a new username for reasons that will become obvious. Just looking for some guidance or advice. Don't want to be "flamed" but understand some people will criticise/vent etc. using this forum as "most" posters give a balanced view/thoughts as I have tried to do when replying to requests for advice.
I'm a male in my late 40s, twice divorced, with grown up children who have left home and in there mid 20s. I've been in a long term relationship for the past 10 years though due to our location we live apart but see each other at least once a week ( the distance is not too far away but far enough that we maintained our own houses). I suppose that the passion, love has moved to friendship in some ways. My partner is generous, caring and supportive. I have been loyal (up to now) caring and enjoy her time. I suppose in some ways we have grown together. She has a demanding job, we are/ were? Planning our life from 55. Less or no work, one home etc. money and time to do more things.
Recently I spoke with a woman who I know through work but who hadn't really seen her until she was there casually dressed picking up some work stuff on her day off. She looked stunning, chatty etc. I asked for her number and we have been out together for lunch, coffee, hanging out together. She isn't aware I'm in a long term relationship and I haven't been truthful just saying that I'm on my own. To everyone looking in, it looks that way, own home, own friends etc etc.
She has a younger family (school age) and is a confident, hardworking mum who has been on her own for some time. The 10 year age gap doesn't bother her, I'm pretty fit, healthy and keep in good shape, dress well. Things have moved on, we're sleeping together and talking about our relationship/future but keeping it low level. We have agreed that I won't meet her children until some time has passed and we're confident on moving forward.
I suppose I'm at a crossroads in life. I agonise over doing the right thing, morally I feel I have let my long term partner down by starting this affair (don't know if affair is the right terminology). When I tell her which I will have too, can't continue in no mans land, it will tear our world apart.
Friends, family will be shocked. I'm growing closer to the woman I have met. Life would be very different. I know I need to act soon. My long term partner and I have plans sketched out for the next 6 months, travel etc. I suppose what I'm saying I don't know which path to take.....I feel excitement when I'm with my younger lover, she is bright, intelligent, tactile.
I'm safe, loved, cared for with long term partner but can't move away from the emotional and physical attraction I feel and have with with the woman I'm seeing.
I suppose I never thought I would be in this position that I'm cheating and completing this "high wire act". Do I take the safe option and end this new chapter in my life and continue in my safe world with a woman who I respect, admire and love ( but not love as strongly as I should), or do I end it and pursue a new relationship with a woman who takes my breath away and feels the same way about me.
As I said at the beginning I'm just looking for thoughts/advice from those who have been there or have "faced into it" I appreciate some may think I'm a "weak man". That's not the case.
Sam.

Hi,
Sorry to hear about your situation and I hope it resolves soon.

You are risking throwing away a releationshop with someone you have known and loved for 10 years with someone you have known for a very short period of time.

Maybe being apart and seeing each other only once a week has led to this ? And if you're only seeing each other for this short period, is it a serious relationship ?

Be honest with yourself in what you want in life and future and you will have your answer.

All the best

Siriki

Is this for real? You have a partner of 10 years, you're sleeping with another woman, but you're not sure 'affair' is the right term?

chesky

Siriki wrote: »

Is this for real? You have a partner of 10 years, you're sleeping with another woman, but you're not sure 'affair' is the right term?

Why do you keep copying other peoples’ posts?