Met someone else......

svain

MSE folk gonna love this thread

Loz01

Put your "long term partner" out of her misery, tell her you have cheated on her and then tell your new girlfriend that the whole time you've been sleeping with her, you actually had a long distance relationship going on with someone else. You live by the sword, you die by the sword.

sleepymans

Im poly, so I understand the thrill of more than one lover....but, hell.....All mine know about the others!! Lies and that includes secrets, are the killer of trust and love

Poor_Single_lady

An utterly depressing post. Almost like the OP is asking for advice on how to get the most gain out of the affair and the long term girlfriend. Asking people who have been there which is best. The old one or the new one?
And the 2 women think they have found their soulmate. Just how sad.

Pollycat

Samuelsjourney wrote: »

Do I take the safe option and end this new chapter in my life and continue in my safe world with a woman who I respect, admire and love ( but not love as strongly as I should), or do I end it and pursue a new relationship with a woman who takes my breath away and feels the same way about me.

I really hope that you don't get the chance to make this choice.

I hope both of these women - who you have lied to - find out and dump you unceremoniously.

Samuelsjourney wrote: »

As I said at the beginning I'm just looking for thoughts/advice from those who have been there or have "faced into it" I appreciate some may think I'm a "weak man". That's not the case.
Sam.

You may not consider yourself a weak man.

What you are is thoughtless and selfish - and that's much worse.

Placitasgirl

Time to put on your big boy pants and tell both your long term partner and the woman with whom you're having an affair about the "other woman". You are lying to and deceiving both of them and the chances are you will be dumped by both, but clearly your "commitment" to your long term partner wasn't sufficient to stop you being unfaithful to her, and your inability to own up to your actions to your younger lover means you clearly don't have the respect for her that you should. With two failed marriages and a long term relationship being compromised by your affair by your mid forties I think you probably need some time along to figure out what's really important to you for the future.

PeacefulWaters

School hols.

Maz

Your're an !!!!****. End of.

Geoff1963

Any endeavour is more difficult, if failure comes with serious consequences - think of tightrope walking.
In this case, both of your relationships are easier, because you have the other to fall back on if it goes wrong ; and your relaxation about that, makes you a better partner for both.

Excluding any other consideration ; the cheat is that if you drop one, then you lose that safety net, and hence become as tense as anyone else in a monogamous relationship.

Detroit

If you can't decide between them, neither are right for you.

If either was 'the one' you 'loved as you ought to' the decision would be clear and you wouldn't need to ask strangers to help you choose. (Not to mention you'd hopefully have enough regard for them not to make fools of them both.)

Neither situation reflects the possible reality of living with the women; one you see just once a week, the other you haven't even met her kids.
I don't know how you could know if either is right for you.

I do know however, that you are highly unlikely to be right for them.