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Dancing through the rain with a smile and good cheer

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  • doingitanyway
    doingitanyway Posts: 9,913 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Name Dropper Mortgage-free Glee!
    Did you enjoy Excellent Women? I love that book
    You have reminded me of charity donations. I cut mine down to get debt free but now I should do a bit more as I debt free now.
    Have a good evening.
    If you have built castles in the air, your work should not be lost; that is where they should be. Now put the foundations under them

    Emergency fund 100/1000
    Buffer fund 0/100
    Debt Free (again) 25/072025
  • Bubblesmum
    Bubblesmum Posts: 1,778 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Name Dropper Photogenic
    beanielou said:
    That's some list!
    Keep plodding ;)
    That you... wait to you see yesterdays lol - but its keeping me going at the moment ! 
    As a dear MSE friend says “keep plodding” or
    What does the saying say.... When life hands you lemons, make lemonade
    Or as my Mum would say, brush yourself down, tomorrow is another day or
    Fake it, to you Make It

    Please say hello my new diary: https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/6578460/still-dancing-to-blow-the-debt-clouds-away
  • Bubblesmum
    Bubblesmum Posts: 1,778 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Name Dropper Photogenic
    Morning

    Not a great start to my day, husband had a bad dream last night, made me jump and spasm, laid awake for ages...... and my body is craving a restorative massage which of course is impossible. 

    While still in bed had a call from a close family member to say finally their house move purchase has gone through. I'm relived its been a 10 month journey... mostly full of doom and gloom, and yes I am relieved, glad etc etc. But also sad as I'm sitting here, thinking, even if we were not in a Covid 19 situation, the person concerned would not want me a round and actually frankly nor would I want them if the situation was in reverse but this goes against the "close family stereotypes".  

    so  before I review yesterdays list -- the keep plodding and doing list. I wanted to put my thoughts down about a conversation I have just read in another thread - very thought provoking on the "Champagne Lifestyle on a Lemonade Diet" about relationships back in February. 

    I am not in the position to withdraw from this person entirely, for one thing I am next of kin. However as its been put in recent years through the help of counselling, I have had to change my relationship with them, for the sake of my mental health.  i really like the image of a "red velvet rope policy - I only let good people who love and care for me into my innermost circle. the rest I hold at arms length I am polite and friendly enough but I do keep a little distance" 

    I remember my mother doing this, and I couldn't understand why - I now do.  The thing I do find difficult is that I get that they would say that they "love and care for me" but their actions in words ( mostly ) and sometimes deeds. Hurt, and cut me to the core.  

    However over the last few years especially with the help of my counsellors and OH and my faith, I forgive, and that is an ongoing process and as commented keep them either at arms length, in terms of family, and in terms of friends quietly withdrawn - its one of the major reasons I have walked away from FB. With friendships closure can be achieved, I feel. It has also made me really value those friends who love me for who I am NOW, both old and new, and those who are definitely on my red carpet. 

    I think the quote from Maya Angelou "You can forget what was done to you, you can forget what was said to you, but you can never forget the way you were made to feel" And it is that hurt that goes so deep that it never really heals. Especially when it comes like a bolt out of the blue from someone you thought loves you and cares about you". 

    This so resonated with me today, so thank you  @lessonlearned @helensbiggestfan- as you say I will lick those wounds ( I am the cat lady!) and draw the red rope tight. Protect and nurture myself and look to my faith today to console and guide me. 




    As a dear MSE friend says “keep plodding” or
    What does the saying say.... When life hands you lemons, make lemonade
    Or as my Mum would say, brush yourself down, tomorrow is another day or
    Fake it, to you Make It

    Please say hello my new diary: https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/6578460/still-dancing-to-blow-the-debt-clouds-away
  • Bubblesmum
    Bubblesmum Posts: 1,778 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Name Dropper Photogenic
    Now to pick myself up and review yesterdays list!

    1. Scan poetry, type out that Pilates poem and arrange the next Words4Water group on zoom - completed! 

    2. Make bed - completed 

    3. 2 Christian bible studies ( daily and 1 catch up)  - completed

    4. Postcard 1 for Waverley Colleague ( colour in and note ready for delivery)

    5. Finish reading Gross textbook re assignment - completed

    6. Tidy Kitchen - oops no!

    7. Flea fur babies - oh dear no! 

    8. Respond to freecyclers - yes and more stuff leaves the house! 

    9. Read Counsellor in a Nutshell - Yes, one chapter gone.....

    10. Coffee in garden to sort bookkeeping queries and a girlie natter - completed - joy and i offered cake and SW bars :) 

    11. MSE diary - both written and read - YES! 

    12. Read Jacqueline Winspear Email - yes about her new biography coming out later in the year, and it had some thought provoking thoughts - Find some gifts in the time of lock down, sweetness hidden within the more bitter events in life. New Society - humans live a good life, kinder, more accepting and encouraging being in the world. This time next year I will be laughing - family motto. Reading biographies, find threads that can join us - no matter who we are and where we are from. Truths, points of connections. What resonates with you? The defining expriences of our parents and grand parents lives have significant bearing on our own. Elements of endurance and resiliance - fabric of our lives. Our ancestors have experienced the worse of times: Wars, Social unrest, prejudice, sickness, Survival in the good times and bad. Our existence the testiment of their fortitude. 






    As a dear MSE friend says “keep plodding” or
    What does the saying say.... When life hands you lemons, make lemonade
    Or as my Mum would say, brush yourself down, tomorrow is another day or
    Fake it, to you Make It

    Please say hello my new diary: https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/6578460/still-dancing-to-blow-the-debt-clouds-away
  • Bubblesmum
    Bubblesmum Posts: 1,778 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Name Dropper Photogenic
    doingitanyway said:
    Did you enjoy Excellent Women? I love that book
    You have reminded me of charity donations. I cut mine down to get debt free but now I should do a bit more as I debt free now.
    Have a good evening.
    Yes I did - I originally got it to challenge myself to read some modern classic and I loved the cover lol, its been sitting on my bookshelf for years. 

    I am making a policy that if I really dont think it rates 5 stars and a re read then it goes in the charity bag - its back on the shelf  :). I loved Mildred and the period. If you are watching the Sewing Bee I imagined her to look like one of the contestants. I love the vintage style of that era. 

    I was a spinster who went to church etc until I was 36! I really identified with Mildred.... 
    As a dear MSE friend says “keep plodding” or
    What does the saying say.... When life hands you lemons, make lemonade
    Or as my Mum would say, brush yourself down, tomorrow is another day or
    Fake it, to you Make It

    Please say hello my new diary: https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/6578460/still-dancing-to-blow-the-debt-clouds-away
  • Bubblesmum
    Bubblesmum Posts: 1,778 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Name Dropper Photogenic
    Reading on in Champagne Lifestyle made me LOL 

    So, repeat after me.......moisturise squirt, moisturise squirt, moisturise squirt....................

    I am adding bath to todays list!!!!
    As a dear MSE friend says “keep plodding” or
    What does the saying say.... When life hands you lemons, make lemonade
    Or as my Mum would say, brush yourself down, tomorrow is another day or
    Fake it, to you Make It

    Please say hello my new diary: https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/6578460/still-dancing-to-blow-the-debt-clouds-away
  • Sun_Addict
    Sun_Addict Posts: 23,990 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper Photogenic
    Well done getting through that lot 🎉
    I get knocked down but I get up again (Chumbawamba, Tubthumping)
  • Bubblesmum
    Bubblesmum Posts: 1,778 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Name Dropper Photogenic
    Morning all 

    Well the lockdown grumpy falling out virus hit our house yesterday. It was a really uuuuurgh day. I had a great falling out with OH at one point I felt that : We are opposites - but what draws us together is a value we share - today he has done something that has blown this value apart - I am so upset - it’s something that is such a core part of who I am. 

    We eventually did talk it through over tea and chocolate and made peace, so I have to draw the line. 

    However it meant my body was really unhappy, as it spasms when I'm upset, and i felt knackered all day. 

    So my list of yesterday - has become the list for today as all I managed to do was write this diary and read for my assignments. 

    Plus I had a bath but I forgot to "moisture and squirt" 

    Ho Hum.... onwards and upwards 

    On a bright from a very dear friend is coming tomorrow ( he is having to work a four day week ) to build my birthday present - wooden arbour. 

    Plus our cleaner did our ironing so today is potentially clean sheets.....

    As a dear MSE friend says “keep plodding” or
    What does the saying say.... When life hands you lemons, make lemonade
    Or as my Mum would say, brush yourself down, tomorrow is another day or
    Fake it, to you Make It

    Please say hello my new diary: https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/6578460/still-dancing-to-blow-the-debt-clouds-away
  • Sun_Addict
    Sun_Addict Posts: 23,990 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper Photogenic
    Glad you made it up with DH, still upsetting for you though.  I bet no end of people have fallen out with their OHs at some stage during this endless lockdown. 
    I get knocked down but I get up again (Chumbawamba, Tubthumping)
  • beanielou
    beanielou Posts: 95,469 Ambassador
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Academoney Grad Mortgage-free Glee!
    Sorry to read this.
    Seems to be the week for it.
    Keep plodding  :)
    I am a Forum Ambassador and I support the Forum Team on Mortgage Free Wannabe & Local Money Saving Scotland & Disability Money Matters. If you need any help on those boards, do let me know.Please note that Ambassadors are not moderators. Any post you spot in breach of the Forum Rules should be reported via the report button , or by emailing forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com. All views are my own & not the official line of Money Saving Expert.

    Lou~ Debt free Wanabe No 55 DF 03/14.**Credit card debt free 30/06/10~** MFW. Finally mortgage free O2/ 2021****
    "A large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of" Jane Austen in Mansfield Park.
    ***Fall down seven times,stand up eight*** ~~Japanese proverb.     ***Keep plodding*** Out of debt, out of danger. ***Be the difference.***
    One debt remaining. Home improvement loan.
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