No "T" words mentioned at all - the continuation thread

candlelight_2013

Well it has been a miserable day, rained for most of it, so no washing done but I did cook chicken for lunch which is a plus. Himself is eating very much at all, but he did manage lunch, and I now serve it on a smaller plate.


Water infection no better so hope GP will phone tomorrow with results of blood test.


Polly good to see you I am sorry you have been unwell, I hope you start to pick up soon and I hope DD is as well as can be expected, so many poorlies on here at the moment.


My candle has been lit all day for dear Bob and Chris, and I suspect many more are alight around the country. What a wonderful community we have, where most of us have never met, but we care so much for each other. My wish is for Chris and the children to have some peace of mind, knowing they did everything they could for Bob, and hopefully in the fullness of time will remember the happy times they had together. Sleep tight Chris xx

[Deleted User]

Just managed to find time to catch up after a very busy few days and I'm so sad to hear that Bob has finished his lifes journey. Dear TA you've both been in my heart for quite some time now on your journey together to this point, you've both been focused and stoic while loving each other and just getting by with what life has thrown at you. Bob is now flying free, no pain, no fear just freedom and for that we can be thankful while being so very sad for you my dear, being able to do nothing more than watch a loved life ebb is the hardest task in a relationship. We're here, will be here when you need us but know we're with you even when you don't need us because we care xxx.

pollyanna_26

I'm sorry to hear Himself isn't so good Candlelight and hope your blood results are back tomorrow . I'm lucky to have very few urine infections but remember how debilitating they are . In fact poor Chris had many of them as I recall . My candle has been lit all day - the biggest Lavender one - and it's made me quite sleepy as it's so relaxing . Well done to your dd on the weight loss she really is determined in spite of her pain .
I hope the thick curtains keep the heat in during the coming months . Most of my curtains I make myself but I swear by the Dunelm thermal blackout linings which I add to my lined ones in winter . I've had them a few years now so not sure if they still sell the same type I bought . They were the most expensive at the time but a good buy and very effective .


I too am holding SM and her loved ones , Lainey and her SIL in my heart and all worried or struggling .



I'm glad things are going so well Lyn , that 2nd viewing was meant to be .


Welcome to Poppy it's always good to meet another friend .


I'm trying to pull myself together . I have a washing mountain and dust bunnies . Neither of us had felt too good for a while . We dragged ourselves to the 2 weekly GP appt on the 2nd . He said to rearrange all other appts for the next few weeks and do nothing so for once we did . Everything has been full on over the last couple of years and it was burnout time . Until you stop you don't realise how far you're pushing yourself and the fact it's making you ill . It all had to be done and is making a real difference so I would do it again but looking back I don't know how I did .
Full of bronchitis again and dd has something similar , we're back with Superdoc on Tuesday so hopefully he'll be able to do her flu injection which she hasn't been well enough for .


BTW The daily phone calls to the ex lasted until the week before last . It wasn't going badly until then but the tone changed to abusive I warned him once and the second time I informed him that ship sailed decades ago and I don't tolerate abuse and ended the call .
I'm imaging all the love and light heading out from here and the daily .
Take care all .
much love Polly x

LaineyT

Another one who has been holding Chris and her family in my heart all day, it’s hard to think of words eloquent enough to let her know how much she is thought of by her friends on the boards, we are such a part of each other’s lives despite there being a good chance we won’t ever meet face to face but we feel every hurt and triumph all the same.

It’s rained most of the day here as well Candlelight, apart from a couple of Tilly walks we haven’t left the house but made the most of our books and recorded programmes. Get well wishes sent for both you and Himself x

Thanks for the well wishes Polly, not sure if you caught the news but my SIL got engaged last weekend, a lovely surprise for her and a much needed boost after a difficult few months, her fella is smashing and a very welcome addition to our family. I’m sorry to hear that things have turned toxic again with your XOH

Much love to all x

[Deleted User]

Oh it's raining AGAIN! there's a flood warning out on the River Wye down in the Forest of Dean and I've got a bowl under the skylight in the conservatory because it's dripping from the metal rods that work the opening/closing system. I'm cold too!!! On the plus side though the water meter man has been and gone and will do the work another dryer day but we've established which is our water supply and all is in hand. HWK has just suggested coffee.....really good idea if only to hold the cup until my hands are warm again! Oh dear I even sound 'Poor me' to myself. It's due to clear later on and that will make life dryer and better. We're both going back to our weight loss way of eating, we came off it to use up the freezer and store cupboard before we moved and we've both put on around 5 kilos which I feel settled enough here now to tackle. We liked the food very well when we were eating to lose weight so it won't be a hardship and I'll feel better all round when I'm back down to 65 kilos, still a pretty substantial weight but I don't think I can maintain much less and not be hungry all the time. Have a good day everyone and try to stay dry xxx.

scottishminnie

Just catching up this morning after a busy weekend. All weekend I kept wondering about Bob but wasn't online to check. Whilst I'm so sad for TA and her family it must be a relief that he is no longer suffering. They seem like a close family and I'm sure they will be a great comfort to each other in the difficult times ahead.

Mums appointment is on Wednesday now (today's was cancelled due to staff shortages) so I will be going along with her. I am concerned about how exhausted she is and whether that is normal. My dad has managed to convince himself that the cancer they have found is secondary and there is actually something bigger/worse elsewhere so I need to find a way of asking that without alarming mum.

pollyanna_26

Good morning from a very wet and grey NW . It's been a lot colder in the last few days so time to pull out the gloves , hats and warmer coats and Jackets .
I hadn't seen the news about your Sils engagement Lainey so that's really good to read and is bound to lift her spirits . Hope your knee is improving and all is well with the LovelyLu .
I do hope Chris managed to sleep , she must be beyond exhausted .
I'm not sure how you can discuss your fears at the appointment SM . I'm dds appointee so in the past have spoken to our gp on the phone prior to an appt to fill him in on concerns which has sorted things . That wont work with a hospital though . Has your dad voiced his worries about secondaries in her hearing ? If he has it would be a way to ask your questions in her hearing but if she has no idea it may be best focusing on the tiredness . It is a normal thing but can also be a worsening of the condition only you know how much your mum knows and the best way to approach it .
Not a lot of help I'm afraid but will be thinking of you on Wednesday,


Well I need to pull myself together . !st day out in two weeks tomorrow so need to find my get up and go mojo .
Have a good day all .
polly x

candlelight_2013

Hello all


Very cold here as well Lyn, and raining on and off, Autumn is really here I fear.


SM, I wonder why your Dad thinks it is a secondary, I can only think your Mum must have said something about a possible other problem. Anyway if it was a secondary the hospital would surely treat the prime site as well, and I assume nothing has been said. The meeting with the Oncologist on Wednesday will sort this out because they will be discussing treatment, try not to worry too much.


The exhaustion could be just the after effects, or is she trying to do too much or having too many visitors. I know she is a farmer's wife, is she trying to act normally and do everything she would normally do, because she should be resting to some extent so everything can heal. I will say that coming to the end of my radiotherapy I was very tired, and they will tell her that. I think that is the treatment but also the constant travelling each day to and from the hospital. I wish her well for Wednesday.



Oh dear Polly, I assume the ex is now staying where he is and not moving closer to family, he won't change now will he, if it doesn't come naturally they can't be nice/amiable for long


Phoned for an appointment with GP, got more sense out of him than any of the others, he is lovely, he was lovely with Himself when he was first diagnosed. I have antibiotics for the water infection, and he is changing my diabetic tabs. I have 2 new ones and I have to cut down the ones I usually take. He says they are no good for my kidneys. He wants me to keep a blood diary, so once a day take my blood and see what change there is over 4 weeks whilst taking these new tabs. I feel a little more confident now.


I have had to dry some towels in the TD this morning, and I need to clean tha bathroom this afternoon. Himself will be having his nap in a while and I try not to make a noise so he can have a rest.


My candle burned long and bright for Bob and Chris yesterday. As you say Polly I hope Chris managed some sleep, she must be totally exhausted, and you are right she did have water works problems some time ago that no-one seemed able to sort out for her. They will be busy this week with phonecalls, various arrangements and seeing relatives, sending our love to them all and if you are reading Chris we are all thinking of you.x


Have a good afternoon all xx

pollyanna_26

Really good advice for SM Candlelight . I'm still quite fibro fogged so the concentration isn't good .
It's such a relief to see a good and proactive GP isn't it? I don't know what we'd do without ours . Yours seems spot on so if he isn't your Named GP it's worth asking him to be it , It means you'll both be mainly under his care apart from holidays etc . It makes a world of difference .
I'm slower than a slow thing today trying to get back into functioning mode . The sun has now come out but still really cold although now dry and looking more cheerful outdoors .
ExH was moved to a reablement centre a few miles from the hospital a few weeks ago , lovely small unit with caring staff hoping to get him back to the best they could . He was pretty well refusing to engage but complaining to me of boredom etc .
It got to a point where he expected me to constantly phone the unit to sort out random things like a dropped pen or wanting to go back to his room after asking to go go to the lounge and changing his mind when he was taken there .
He has a button round his neck to call them but wouldn't use it . I had a couple of talks with him about understanding he'd had a shock but unless he listened to physio and the others in the team and tried he was limiting his options after the end of this short term placement , He really is his own worse enemy . One day he suddenly really ranted at me and I pulled him up all was ok for a couple of days and then a load of sweary abuse and that was crossing the red line .
I'd overheard him many times speaking nicely to staff and carers and he's nice to dd2 in the main . It's landed her with dealing with it all which is worrying me as I only joined in to take some of the load off her but I cannot go back to being treated in that way again .
Plan is still to try for a placement in this area which should help dd2 .who has always had a bit of denial about the past although she lived through it . She does the poor you thing and it doesn't help him move forward but she means well .
Well I'm wittering so have a good day hope the meds kick in soon .
polly x

scottishminnie

We al think the same way :)I'd decided to focus on the tiredness on Wednesday as my dad hasn't voiced his worries to mum so it wouldn't be right to suddenly bring it up. You are right Candlelight - she is still pretty much full time on the farm but at 76 she simply isn't a young woman any more. Time catches us all eventually.

She's also quite hurt by my sisters actions - she went on holiday at the same time as I did and only returned home yesterday. She didn't tell any of us that she was planning to be away more than 2 weeks and certainly not that she wouldn't be home before mums op. She hasn't phoned once and has only sent a handful of texts to mum and I. I'm afraid my responses have gone terse now. Mum, of course, is making excuses for her but I'm so angry she hasn't even called to speak to her. I'm quite sure the lack of contact is also getting her down which won't help her overall state of mind. Her friend is taking her to the hairdressers tomorrow so I'm hoping that will perk her up- I feel much better when I look a bit more put together.

Was a glorious day here today, almost warm at times. Rain forecast for tomorrow so the weeds wil flourish