The Garden Fence - proper Old Style support and chat!

monnagran

Floss. That is priceless.

Burtha: Please don't think that I am underestimating the distress felt by your dd. I would never do that to someone I don't know and I'm sorry if that is how it came over. Life is difficult enough for any child of that age without added pressures.
My own boys were 11 and 13 when I broke the news to them that their father was going to be moving out. DS1 said that was fine and would I reconsider letting him have a dog. DS2 asked anxiously if we would be keeping the television. Which gives you some idea of the part he had played in their lives.

Well, I have another viewing on Saturday. At least I don't have to rush around tidying up as there is nothing to tidy.

karcher

Burtha I for one have no issue what so ever with you wishing bad things on your ex..regarding his latest 'rose-tinted' venture with 'Lilo-Lil' :rotfl: I am urging you to present him with a large bill to cover the kids uniform expenses and a demand for a regular payment to cover his share until there is an official court settlement. Who the Foo-bar does he think he is swanning off on holiday again, whilst you and the kids struggle :mad:

I still wish one particular thing happen to my ex..something which would be a fate worse than death for him. It isn't even that horrible..but it would completely stop him in his tracks and change his life irreparably! (a bit like he did mine)

Maybe only then he'd get a glimpse of the pain he quite deliberately and intentionally, caused me, ...he went out of his way to cause me maximum heartbreak, hurt and upset he could and sadly, succeeded with bells on... I'm still trying to recover but he did his best to make that impossible for me too. Believe me I tried and sought all the help I could and made drastic changes to my life to pick myself up again..sadly sometimes, scars run too deep!

Does that make me awful that I still wish him ill? Not in my eyes it doesn't and I live in hope ...but I don't believe in Karma..so I continue to put my energies into me and my life and hope that one day I'll go a day without thinking about him (or should I say 'it'!) and it still hurting..:(

Look after yourself Burtha, and sorry I started talking about me ..I'll get me coat too if needs be

pollyanna_26

Karcher As we both stand here clutching our coats can I say I really hope that one day you can find that peace inside yourself . As I said earlier today we are all different , we all have life changing events which colour the future . Each of us find a new way as time goes on . At first I hated my ex as I tried to repair the damage he'd left in his wake . As time went by I came to realise that while I raged and ranted inwardly I was allowing his behaviour to take up my head and keep the damage going . I decided he was the past . nothing could change that past but I was in charge of the future . It sounds easy but it took time to reach that point . i wish you well and hope you will find yourself again .
Meanwhile shall we put our coats on ? It's getting a bit chilly now .
Take care
polly

pollyanna_26

monna A long day ahead for me tomorrow and an iffy internet connection today so if I don't get online tomorrow youngest and I will be sending those vibes again for the viewing on Saturday .
When you say there is nothing to tidy do you mean all is tidy? I had an image of you and the dog sitting on the floor in an empty house .
Good luck
polly

NM I hope all is well with you . I haven't noticed you about . Have you needed to use the replacement buses yet ? Never mind things should be better once the station work is done x

MMF007

Oh Karcher, that's tough for you.
I still see my mum re-living bad memories for Years ago, as if they were fresh wounds. It makes me sad. She cannot let go of the hurt and anger. I don't know how to help her overcome the issues.

nursemaggie

I'm fine polly just nothing of interest to say. I have to go to the hospital Wednesday and Thursday next week. I am not sure if the Station is open again next week.

I will say one thing about it being closed is the excessive traffic and all the extra buses means if your bus has to pass the station it cannot get out into the traffic and it takes hours to get home. Poor DS is experiencing this every afternoon, not in the morning because the first bus in not until an hour after he starts work.

karcher

pollyanna_26 wrote: »

Karcher As we both stand here clutching our coats can I say I really hope that one day you can find that peace inside yourself . As I said earlier today we are all different , we all have life changing events which colour the future . Each of us find a new way as time goes on . At first I hated my ex as I tried to repair the damage he'd left in his wake . As time went by I came to realise that while I raged and ranted inwardly I was allowing his behaviour to take up my head and keep the damage going . I decided he was the past . nothing could change that past but I was in charge of the future . It sounds easy but it took time to reach that point . i wish you well and hope you will find yourself again .
Meanwhile shall we put our coats on ? It's getting a bit chilly now .
Take care
polly

Fine words and thank you Polly xx
.... I'm following the exact same path, all be it slowly.

My coat is donned..I do hate being cold.

Night all x

[Deleted User]

I can so relate to the leftover emotions that grip with sharp toxic claws when a relationship ends on one side without the other being aware of any kind of problems when it does. I think that's the most long lasting cause of pain because there are no reasons to give, no blame to apportion just that feeling of numbness and total inadequacy and that it somehow must be MY fault! Not so though and it took me 3 painful years of wound licking on my own in a shabby, cold, expensive bedsit before I came to understand that he was just a shallow and narcissistic manipulator and cared no more for 'me' than for a flea on the family dog in the first place, I was an expendable encumbrance and 'got rid of' as soon as something better came within his orbit. I subsequently found out he'd 'tried it on' with my entire female acquaintance at one time or another and I had been blindly in love and oblivious of all. That knowledge did much for reconciliation to a lost life.

There really does come a point at which the pain lessens, at which you realise that despite all the unhappiness you ARE still alive and can make a future without the baggage in it that you are carrying now. The anger takes a little longer to dissipate and when it did I was left with such a feeling of relief that I didn't have to put up with Ex in my life any longer that I was able to move forward again. It takes quite a time, not months but years to get there, when you do (and you will, each of you) you will be a stronger and more capable person and never put yourselves totally in the thrall of another human being ever again, you'll always be cautious and will always keep a percentage of 'you' back from any dealings with other people as an insurance policy. Once bitten twice shy!!! lots of truth in that one! xxx.

burtha

Hi
I will willing take any advice from anyone , all of our life skills are so different ,but we will get there in the end kind of thing ... and no offence will ever be taken ...
Dd was having issues before the situation now , so this has just put the icing on the cake so to speak ....but will get her through it.
oddly I don't know what I feel for the ex ... shocked at his behaviour,sad that we got to this point without prior conversation .... and keep expecting him to walk in the door from work , as normal ..as if it's a bad dream .
but what ever he does now is up to him ,I would love him to turn things around for the kids , but can't see it ... but his loss now and in the years to come .
Early days .
X

MMF007

MrsLW - you did brilliantly. As you say, it takes time but we can make a better future.

Round of applause for Burtha :T:T:T You are fab x

Yep, my rule has always been to listen to all advice. No obligation to actual.y follow it all but there's a good chance some of it will be enlightening

Keep up the good work, All.

TodayI am celebrating just because it is Friday, because i don't work on Fridays :j