The Garden Fence - proper Old Style support and chat!

MMF007

Have gone through the options for our 'big' holiday next year (DH and I had different preferences).. Tonight I gave a summary of the pros and cons for each, being as fair as,poss, and explained that i am completely torn between the 2 options for various reasons. DH said not to worry ahout it, we could always go back if we love the first trip!
Sooooo, I may indeed be able to book my preference this time. Softly, softly, catchee monkey

Today my lovely neighbour with quite severe dementia offered to help me put the washing out. This sometimes involves me following behind and re-pegging the jumble he leaves, but we had a good laugh when i disappeared behind the super king-size sheets and he did a fine job today. When we had finished he chuckled and said, 'Oh, I really enjoyed that.' Apparently, earlier in the day he had been complaining because 'people keep telling me what to do', so i guess letting him run amok with the washing was just what he needed.

Well done Burtha, keep it up Girl! Have a smashing break with the kids.

Hester, your enterprise sounds great. I reckon you will have more work than you want before long, I know i am turning folks away because i don't want to do a 7 day week

Some of these adult kids sound like one of my SsIL. She drove my in laws to the brink with her disgusting behaviour that culminated in stealing a substantial amt of money from them, AND THEN blaming her little sister. I detest her and although it happened a good few years ago I never take my bank cards or more than a tenner to family ocassions when she will be there. (Oh yes, she is back in the fold now, despite everything, and there was a lot).

Softstuff

hubby has left his computer unattended... he went for a job at 6.15am :eek:

Nannywindow, be careful with step stools, they're not disco equipment.

Hester, boat cleaning sounds great, a nice little job. I like those jobs that have a clear start and finish and simple achievable objectives. I'm sure that's something you'll look forward to also.

Burtha, don't be upset asking for help. All those people who know you and love you are probably dying to lend a hand but unsure of how to practically help, you'll be doing them a favour by letting them know.

Greenbee, if I could have had a cleaner, some of this would have been easier. But trust is an issue for me there (had one that ruined the finish of a bath with a brillo pad :eek:). I get what you're saying about getting started though, that really is the hardest bit with each job.

FairyP, great news there, hope the chemo goes smoothly (as does the babysitting!)

MMF, am intrigued where your holiday options are now, do tell!

Anyhoo, work today. Yesterday was fun, the other girl was due to start at 8 and I was rostered for 9. So I arrived at 8.40, asked the boss where the other girl was and basically took the flak for her being late.... when I was starting work 20 mins early. Other girl thought she was starting at 9. So she arrived at 9.30.... :rotfl:

fuddle

I just want to say quickly that no one looked after me when I was in the doodoo. I had to get myself out of it. Had I been protected or cushioned from the bad stuff I wouldn't have learned and I wouldn't have the right skills or the 'wrong' lessons to teach the small ones.

You're doing 'em a favour. Owning their own mistakes is the only thing that can help them in my opinion.

Floss

Fuds well said xx

Cheapskate

Fuddle, my lovely, I know you had no help, you've done a sterling job with your life and you're a credit to your littlies! . I really do hope you're right about them owning their mistakes, it's just taking an awfully long time!! I've no problem with helping someone out in a sudden emergency (big car bill, etc.) but when they're short of bus fare, dinner money, etc., it beggars belief, and I've totally lost patience, feel quite murderous....if I end up behind bars, will someone visit?!

A xo

fuddle

Cheaps if they haven't enough for dinner money because of debt repayments then it is time to get help. I called National Debtline. They are a charity offering free debt advice. It became clear what was inevitable for us. Non of it is easy, much of it has left scars to this day but you all know the rest and I wouldn't want to live my life any other way now.

There's DRO's and DMP's that might be approprite for your kids' circumstances. It doesn't have to be the big B but in dealing with it they'll get the control and the knowledge to help them grow and change.

Maybe, if you feel like it cheaps, have a look at the website and start to get a little knowledge so when they come for a hand out you can offer a solution instead of prolonging the agony for everyone, yourself included! H2H but it sounds like you've a long way to go if they're unable to prioritise

silvasava

Very good advice Fuds - TBH you are a sterling example of someone turning their life around by sheer determination. I love to read how far you and your family have come.

burtha

Hi,
Well would love to say the past 48 hours have been great but as I am trying to turn things around I will say it's been an experience...
Travelled down yesterday , 250 miles ... stopped after 2 hours , not a problem ....
Then it started to go wrong , dd wasn't doing good , lots of small stuff built up in to lots of mini breakdowns , then big breakdown lunchtime today , .... now back home .... easier than staying ...
Maybe I could have stayed tomorrow and see how it went but she was heading downhill faster than I could keep up ..
So 6 hours to come home ,drove for three and a half none stop ...before I had to stop... now headache from hell , ...but plan to hit gp tomorrow , push forward with private counselling as none available via nhs , ....and maybe speak with ex ( although he will just say she is fine ) ....
Worn out .
But on a positive note , I am off till next weekend , so can do lots of chasing up as well as packing , visit to solicitor, fill benefit forms out , bits I have put of doing ...as well as trying to get the kids somewhere for days out ( if dd is ok) and do uniform ....extract money from ex
would love to burst into tears , but haven't the energy ...
or the time ,so will just plod on

think I need the elephant and the monkeys .... with a magic wand
x

karcher

Sorry to hear that Burtha I really hope things improve for you and DD soon xx

As for your ex-oh :mad: it's easy for him to say 'she's fine'...how would he know, he ain't there!!

camelot1001

Sorry it didn't go to plan burtha, hope things improve for you.