The Garden Fence - proper Old Style support and chat!

fuddle

Oh have a lovely week VJs I can think of no better place to be this time of year. Here's to good wine, good food and good company. Just wake him up VJs get the show on the road!

Please don't read on if your spiritually skeptical. I'm going through a Dawn of self realisation.

First bit:last night I dreamt. Unusual for me so I felt some significance. Here's the dream, whistle stop. In my old school where I worked, my mam worked and I went as a pupil. I was my first day back after time of after mam had died. I needed to get a new timetable of lessons I was involved in. I queued at the office. The receptionist didn't recognise me and I didn't recognise her. She couldn't understand what I meant by timetable of lessons so showed me calendars that she had. I was getting frustrated and shouted at children in the queue to back up to give me some space

I looked up meaning:
School - revisiting unresolved issues of the past, indicates insecurity. To visit a school of years gone by indicates embarking on a spiritual path.
Calender - is indicates that a lot of time has gone by and trying to deal with past events
Shouting- indicates repressed anger that needs to be let out.

So I deduce that me dream is working out that I am embarking on a spiritual journey to help me deal with unresolved issues of the past, going back to 28 years ago when Dad died, namely repressed anger that I have about it all.

All the above? I worked that out yesterday so to have this dream has blown me away and confirmed that I'm now on the right path.

Second bit:
I was introduced to the idea of crystal healing yesterday. I found that rose quartz is associated with dealing with childhood traumas (dad died when I was 10) and helps with letting go of the past, learning to love myself by letting go of negativity. I then went on to learn it's a crystal associated with the heart chakra and learned that signs that it's out of sync are a lot of negative emotions, poor personal conduct when stressed poor and poor dealing of stress since childhood. This all made sense to me and hit some sort of realisation like never before. Then I learned this bit:
The heart chakra is connected to the heart lungs and thymus gland(immunity I think) Physical signs it is out of balance are asthma, lung infections, cardiac difficulties and poor immunity. I actually threw my phone beside me as if I had seen a ghost.

This is massive for me. I have done umpteen courses of Cbt and while they are super, super ways of helping, nothing has helped me understand like spirituality is helping me understand.

I don't actually know what I'm going to do to sort myself other than keep meandering down the heart chakra route and find out what it's all about, maybe meditate with a rose quartz in my hand?

If you are skeptical and you read anyway, then please don't brush all this off as fuddle losing the plot, finally. I have so much clarity right now that I feel on the cusp of peace.

Softstuff

Tuna, wow,what a time you're having. I hope things improve and settle soon, that was so epic I was reading it open mouthed. Sending hugs.

MMF007, the 007 reference in my sig is Fuddles fault. I believe the story was, she was planning to go out to the Bond film, but her hubby said he'd rather stay home and eat my chickpea curry recipe. But that was some years back!

Mardatha, the day I describe you as normal is the day I get myself admitted :rotfl:

Crud day at work today. Had an angry patient who couldn't understand that at 3.30pm, no I couldn't get him in for a scan same day (other practices have up to a 2 week wait, he wasn't happy with Wednesday!). Maybe he should live in England for a bit and see how long he'd wait for something non-urgent....

VJsmum

I don't think you've lost the plot. you've had a lot of $4it to deal with and not always the opportunity to do it. Your dad dying at aged 10 is massive and your mum not being able to give you support after it is possibly massiver (i know that isn't a word). I think the yoga i do has really helped me deal with my dad's death - during it and now. The ability to keep breathing properly when i get distressed about it, and be able to acknowledge a thought and then let it go.. all of it has helped, I feel.

i dream vividly and often, and generally remember them. i firmly believe that they help one sort one's mind out. I really believe in 'sleeping on it' - the answer often appears. I know you said yoga isn't for you - but have you tried a mindfulness app? I think there's one called 'headspace'?

I am now on the train. OH isn't coming with me - he is having a break away with friends in september, so this is my turn. he woke up 5 minutes before I left...

fuddle

I like yoga VJs but I don't like the classes element. I will put that onto today's list maybe try and find movement connected to chakras of I can. It helps to know that you, as an adult, has to deal with losing your dad and all the emotion that it brings. I've never dealt with it. I know I was forever told as a child from that point that I was developing an angry side but never was I helped to deal with that.

Softstuff it wasn't me. I can't for the life remember who it as though. I remember the whole thing, was funny.

FairyPrincessk

Morning all,

VJs--have fun!

Fuddle--I'm so glad that you feel peaceful. Whatever anyone else believes you must take that feeling and hold onto it!

Tuna--I don't have anything to add, although when I read your post yesterday it did give me pause as dad now uses a few machines and I know my parents don't have anywhere near the contingencies in place that you have and you still had a nightmare!

Nursemaggie--getting rid of things when you have no transport is a nightmare. Having been a student for so long I know how tough it can be to get rid of things properly. I'd suggest either gumtree or a facebook freecycle board, but I've never managed much success with either.

Yesterday was exhausting, but the lounge is now deep cleaned as are the kitchen/dining area, minus wiping cupboards (it was time to cook tea). I also got four meals of veggie burgers in the freezer for term time. More big plans for today. I located lots of things to donate yesterday in my cleaning so that needs to be sorted and parceled up along with the clothes I have upstairs and then I'll persuade OH to drive them to the CS. I have some planting to do--starting seedlings for winter things--more radishes, rocket, things like that. I then want to get on with a bit of cleaning upstairs. Forunately upstairs doesn't take as long as downstairs. OH has volunteered to finish the kitchen so I shall leave that to him. He is also shopping around for new broadband and a few other things.

Tonight is yoga and I'm very much looking forward to it after two weeks away. But first, a run. As soon as I've finished digesting breakfast enough.

Hugs to all who need them.x

LaineyT

Hope you have a smashing time VJsMum, am very jealous indeed.
I think we all have to find our own path Fuddle and exploring your spirituality is a natural stage in that path. I had a conversation with my eldest DSS the other day regarding NLP and the process of realigning the neuron paths in your brain. He is a very fact based scientific kind of person who was sceptical to say the least but as I pointed out, as with the placebo effect, if it works it works no matter how or why.
I am a spiritual person and my beliefs have been of great comfort when faced with the loss of loved ones.

VJsmum

Years ago, when i had a lot of panic attacks, I told the doctors that i thought the physical caused the mental and they all insisted i was wrong, that the thought came first and you react to it. Now that we know so much more about the connections between gut and brain, and i have gone some way to sorting out my gut, that i am even more convinced that i was right. And I haven't had a proper panic attack in years... since i did start concentrating on my gut... Go figure!!

I like Matt Haig on Twitter, he writes very powerfully about mental health.

ivyleaf

Have a lovely time VJsmum I'm glad your OH woke up in time to say cheerio!

fuddle Wishing you well on your spiritual journey. I too had unresolved trauma from my youth and I used to dream quite often about being back at school. Just about sorted now though. We are definitely more than just our bodies, iyswim. So please don't feel silly. Just seen Lainey's post and i agree with all that she says.

Today I have to go to the hospital to have a needle in the arm, prior to going back on Thursday to have a needle in my thyroid _pale_
I have actually had it done before (aspiration biopsy) but if was about 12 years ago. They are trying to find out why my thyroxine levels went down and then came back up again. But I do feel much better than I did a few months ago

Tinydancer

Morning....... Just skim read through to try and catch up as we have been away, but I don't stand a chance of reading it properly. I do know that I am totally in awe of all of your strength and words of wisdom with regard to all the heartache and suffering that you write about. You really are an amazing bunch of people.


We have just returned from a fabulous time in Burton Bradstock, near Lyme Regis. The weather was fabulous and we walked for miles and miles across fields and up and down cliffs, as well as spending time on the beach. I even found some fossils for the grandchildren. It certainly is a spectacular part of the country,


All washing done and drying and stuff put away. Am looking after DGD's hamster for a week as DD and family head off to Monna's neck of the woods. Give them a wave and look after them for me!! They tell me they are looking after Llama's/Alpacas (don't quite know the difference!!) at some stage in the week, so maybe we can add one of those to the menagerie!!


Off to sort out P of A for my dad later with the bank as we have had so much hassle in the last few weeks.
Then take him to a funeral of a dear friend of his. I cannot imagine how hard it must be for him, seeing friends go and wondering..... who's next?
It's been two years since mum passed away and everything comes flooding back.


I will just mention to Fuddle, that no one should poo poo anything that helps. I go to meditation and absolutely love it but some of my friends think that's a bit weird. Do whatever it takes my lovely.


Hugs to you all

[Deleted User]

We're ALL a bit weird in our own way but not all of us are brave enough to come out and admit it...go that FUDDLE!