The Garden Fence - proper Old Style support and chat!

monnagran

Nargle, you are going to be bombarded with advice and I'm not adding to it. One thing I will say is RELAX. You may think this is impossible and understandably you want to do the very best for your DH, but please don't think of this as a fight. If it is a fight there have to be winners and losers and there are never losers! It puts so much pressure on you and really don't have the energy for that.
It also puts the patient in the position of feeling guilty at times when things are not going as well as you would wish. It's as if they are not trying hard enough or doing the right things.
So my non-advice is......do what you said and rely on the medical team looking after you. Take every bit of support offered and do for yourselves whatever feels comfortable at the time. If that is nothing, then do nothing.
There is an army out here rooting for you and here to listen when you need to let off steam and/or have a good cry.

THOUGHT FOR TODAY

We all eat lies when our heart is hungry.

CRANKY40

It's probably a "wait and see" once Mr N's treatment starts. My friend who has just finished her chemo said that she can only taste spicy things. Everything else tastes wrong. Friend has also been making smoothies because you can fill them full of really healthy things then get them down quick without bothering too much about them not tasting quite right.

Floss

Another thing to consider for Mr Nargle is the draining impact of radiotherapy, week on week. My mum became increasingly weary during her radio treatment, 12 weeks of the cumulative effect exhausted her at a relatively fit 63 and took about the same time to fully get over it.

FairyPrincessk

Morning all,

Nargle--I agree with Monna, try to relax. If you're in touch with any charities they often have good advice and have done some of the legwork for you. I think FIL had to focus a lot on getting in enough water and that being more hydrated helped him to feel better. Of all of the people I've known who have been through chemo almost all of them found they had a very limited appetite and the advice was to eat what you can.

We had a lovely weekend--a nice walk, nice food and time in the garden. We had chicken pitas, greek style Saturday with HM tzatziki with 0% greek yoghurt, shredded cabbatge, radishes and tabbouleh (I know, not necessarily all that accurate, but it was nice). OH made a BHF prawn and rice dish last night. It was also nice. He had a go at making the slapjacks (so named by him because they contain only fruit, fruit juice, oats and nuts with cinnamon and vanilla). He has really jumped on board with this, which makes it so much easier than feeling I have to do it on my own while he tucks into a pizza.

Yoga tonight since OH's birthday is Wednesday. We're having a quick tea of breaded fish with roast veggies and either leftover tabbouleh or sweet potato fries depending on how the fats tot up and what I scoff at lunch time. I also started a new jogging programme this morning. I did not manage very far, but it was far nicer than dragging myself to a very hot gym to be out in the fresh air. A good alternative for when the weather is nice and will help me stick to some better habits.

All of this virtue, I feel something criminal coming on :rotfl:

Hugs to all who need them.x

silvasava

Morning all - just trying to catch-up with the posts!
Haven't seen anything of the wedding other than the photos in the Sunday paper as I was ' Meeting and Greeting at the club open day from 10.30 until about 3.30! Too shattered by the time I got home at 6! Was a great day though - lots of families and the kids out on the water - so pleased we had beautiful weather for everyone to enjoy themselves and showcase our lovely little club. Sunday was spent driving up and back to Heathrow to pick up DH's new ( to us) car. Had a meal in a pretty village on the way home so no cooking. Today it's back to attacking the laundry basket and weilding the hoover
Awful to hear about the thefts Hester - sadly boat equipment has a ready market. Island maid -Thieves dressed as policemen!! Horrible people preying on the vunerable.
Sending positive vibes to Mr Nargle and some strength and energy to NM & Mar.
Monna - your thought for today is very astute.
Hope everyone has a good day xx

nursemaggie

Nargle, I have not had what the hospital consider is chemo but the tablets give you the same side effects. I found a few sweets helped the sickness. The ones I had were American hard gums. If the sickness is bad ask your GP for something for it. I have recently had mine changed because it was having the same effect as too much coffee.


I don't get sick often now. The opposite end is still constant but I have tablets for that too. I have learned to live with most of the side effects. Keeping your sense of humour is vital, it helps a lot to see the funny side.



Coping with the exhaustion can be difficult. You will probably both have to pace yourselves as much as you can. The first few weeks will be the worst. After that things start to improve.



Take any help that is offered especially while he is having chemo and has to go to the hospital 5 days a week. Make as much use of Macmillan as you can, they are there to support both of you.

ivyleaf

silva it was my friend who had the thieves dressed as policemen - I know it doesn't matter who posted it, but I don't want anyone on the Island to be worrying
The (real) police say they think the current lot are probably opportunist travellers who will go elsewhere as soon as they realise people are on the look-out for them. Oh great, they'll just go and prey on someone else :mad:

Nargleblast I'll be thinking of you both. I take 4 25 mcg Vit D tablets a day and the GP is very happy with my Vit D level, but I think other posters are right, he'll need to eat what he fancies. ((HUS))

On a happier note, it's another lovely day and I'm meeting DD1 later for a cuppa and possibly a piece of cake. Not seen her for a few weeks as she hasn't been well. Blooming hormones :mad:

silvasava

Sorry Ivy - I'd read through so many posts! TBH couldn't remember if it was you or IM!!
We were targeted a few years ago - our caravan was stolen from the storage site but it had a tracker on it as we knew it was 'attractive' to certain members of the community. It was recovered within a few hours undamaged - maybe it was going to be sold or used - long story and a bit frightening!

[Deleted User]

NARGLE first remember that we are all here when the going gets too tough to bear on your own, always here and always ready to listen so you can say what you feel and know we'll understand the dark place you're shouting from xxx.

The only bit of advice I can offer is what I would also offer to a new mum who knows nothing about babies and that is NOT to get every book and latest bit of information about things but to find one person who you trust who speaks sense and only listen to that one persons advice be it the oncologist, macmillan nurse, your GP or the patient support group . Too many conflicting pieces of advice only add to your
uncertainty and make life more difficult for both you and the person being treated. Tread one path and don't venture off into the many byways that look attractive because most times they aren't any use at all. Wishing all good things for both of you, Lyn xxx.

Nargleblast

Thanks, everyone. I suppose my good intentions of feeding him a Superdiet will come to nothing if he just feels like throwing up! All points taken on board. I am so used to meal planning that I am going to have to adapt to having healthy stuff in stock but going with the flow and chuck together whatever he feels like eating with nutritious stuff sneaked in where possible. I think probiotics, good quality protein and fats and veg and fruit will be the basis of our eating for the next few months (do me good as well).

The nonsense has started. The urgent CT appointment is for two weeks after the date it was ordered (that's classed as urgent?) and....two days after his oncologist appointment. Totally crackers. I got our lovely Macmillan nurse on the case, she will speak to someone in CT to try and bring the scan forward. Hopefully she will be successful. If not, then que sera, sera. To quote my OH... "I ain't bovvered." We will just go with the flow. Fortunately I have now started a new contract as a form of flexi-retirement so am working two long shifts a week instead of three. Work have said if I need to swap shifts at short notice then that's no problem, and there is always carer's leave if I need it further down the line.We will just go with the flow.