The Garden Fence - proper Old Style support and chat!

monnagran

Morning all.  

It is church today and I have to iron a summer skirt in honour of the first warm, sunny Sunday since last year!  I would love to be able to open my wardrobe, select an outfit and go.  In reality I survey a heap of stuff on the floor, drag a couple of likely looking items out, iron them, put them on then go on a shoe hunt for something suitable.  Such is life in the pits.

I've been looking after a delightful couple in their mid-nineties.  They have been together since they were 17 and have been married for 72 years. The wife was taken into hospital on Thursday night and the lovely husband is distraught.  We took him to the hospital yesterday to see his darling (that's what he calls her) and the nurses were absolutely lovely.  He spent the time with her in a side room and we were shown to a comfortable seating area and plied with coffee and biscuits.
The human face of the NHS.

I must go.  That skirt won't iron itself.

THOUGHT FOR  SUNDAY 
A grandfather once said to his grandson, "My son, there is a battle between two wolves inside each one of us.  One is evil: anger, fear, jealousy, greed, resentment, anxiety, lies and ego..
The other is good: joy, peace, love, hope, humility, kindness, empathy and trust."
The boy asked, "Grandfather, which one wins?"
Quietly the old man replied, "The one you feed."

Nargleblast

Monnagran, it's hard to sit on the sidelines watching the sadness of others, particularly in the case of that gentleman who is likely approaching the time of losing his wife. But 72 years, if she were to die now, it would still all have been a wonderful achievement. I am sure you will give thanks for the power of love, the love that has supported them through their marriage and the love that is in that hospital room right now.

Florenceem

monnagran - I wore a skirt today but it was cooler than yesterday here. The wind has gone back to the cooler direction here at the seaside.
Now we are back from Church - my jogging bottoms and socks are on.
Washing and ironing happening, 
I finished a shawl last night - got some ends to sew in and it needs to be blocked. I don't often block but the pattern is quite lacy so will look better done. I have sponge jigsaw pieces to pin the shawl onto - that will happen tomorrow - need to do it first thing in the morning and leave all day to dry.
I have my wips down to 2 now but I am itching to start a new one.

nursemaggie

Florenceem I always find I'm dying to start something else about half way through everything I'm knitting. If I end up slowing down, which I always do about this time of year I can be tempted to leave the one I'm doing and start the one I'm dying to do.

My DD does not need the jumper I'm knitting for her now.  I promised her it in 2019 so I really do need to finish it for when they will be coming to see me in the school summer holidays.

I live in Bolton where Covid cases are always rising the fastest so they wont come until July. There must come a time when

I do have half a dozen half finished Christmas knits because I saw no point in finishing them in January.

burtha

hi everyone 
currently sat in a field,  drinking coffee and catching up with you lot , it's so peaceful.. 
life's had a few moments of late that been a bit iffy , but the best news is 3mw has finally signed the court paperwork without the need for me to ask for a court order against him . . 
we did have a court agreement for finances in place so i was covered if anythjng was to happen ,but 
basically he's refused to sign till now. Now it just needs rubber stamped by the court and the court send direct paperwork to his pensions ....
I'm guessing he was hoping I would die first so he wouldn't loose his pensions as it would be very hard and expensive for the kids to sort out .. 
court should act within 4 weeks then it's all over  
and as he's not realy contacting the kids anymore , feels like I'm tying up loose ends and can start making proper financial and life plans . 

my other focus the last few days has been making curtains for the moterhome , now we have elephants  and pom poms ... 
7 curtains,  ... I haven't done anything like this before but its turned out a lot better than I thought,  so that's good . 

right I'm of to wake the frog , who's happily snoozing in the shade , then dog plod in the sun and chill . 
Enjoy your evening everyone x 

monnagran

Wow burtha.  I bet you are dying to draw a thick black line under 3mw and consign him to history.  You are very lucky that the courts consider the man's pension as part of the financial settlement.  When I was divorced it didn't feature at all.  This was disastrous for me as my ex had previously persuaded me to cash in my teacher's pension to buy something we needed for the house.  He told me that we wouldn't need my pension as he had 3 pensions and we would be well covered.
It has left me pretty stretched at times, but it was still worth it to be rid of him.

Maggie  I can now confess to a whole box full of items which only need to be finished or sewn up.  I think I would be happy to knit a long, long, long scarf that would reach from me to you and back again.  It's the act of knitting I enjoy, not all the boring things you have to do with it.

burtha

yes monna,  at least it seams a bit more fair now ,  the sad thing is I worked out that overall his behaviour over the last 3 years has lost us at least 250k , just by him sticking with his silly decisions that I then had to contest and sort out . 
but at least he's not as snug now , nearly half his pension is now mine ,  but more importantly he's lost the respect and love of his kids . 
I just had to sit and wait for them to see the real person he is and I can hold my head up and say that 100% of that he only has himself to blame . 
karma will always happen 

mothernerd

monnagran said:

Wow burtha.  I bet you are dying to draw a thick black line under 3mw and consign him to history.  You are very lucky that the courts consider the man's pension as part of the financial settlement.  When I was divorced it didn't feature at all.  This was disastrous for me as my ex had previously persuaded me to cash in my teacher's pension to buy something we needed for the house.  He told me that we wouldn't need my pension as he had 3 pensions and we would be well covered.
It has left me pretty stretched at times, but it was still worth it to be rid of him.

Maggie  I can now confess to a whole box full of items which only need to be finished or sewn up.  I think I would be happy to knit a long, long, long scarf that would reach from me to you and back again.  It's the act of knitting I enjoy, not all the boring things you have to do with it.

Ditto, but with embroidery (mostly cross-stitch). No problems working on projects (except for there being enough light - some fine work can only be done in the summer months) but I am dreadful at getting round to the finishing off. I have a cushion cover, done as a thank you for someone. A friend took a photo of it when I had a smartphone. Three doros later I still haven't sewn it up - bought the zip three times because I've not been able to find them (suspect I've thrown them away as the woman on the market folds them up and puts them in a little brown bag about four inches square).
Yesterday I gave my d-i-l a butterfly shaped lavender bag (turquoise and lilac felt, her favourite colours, pattern embroidered in lilac, bright pink, turquoise sequins). I also sent her and DS1 home with their 'New Home' sampler - they moved in in December 2017. I pressed it before they came (pressed it a while ago but it got lost amongst the clutter) but gave them all the frame pieces - 2 mattes, backing board, glass and frame) and told them how to put it together. Still need to finish off the wedding sampler from 2018. Actually been doing that a very long while because I was originally making it for my niece and her partner but they scaled down their wedding plans and I didn't get to go, so it went in the back of a drawer.
I have a plan. Next bank holiday will be mum's birthday weekend (usually is) so am putting together a 3 month plan based on losing weight, getting projects finished, lots of dancing and walking (thought the E word might make you feel faint monna), getting all the garden structure right and everything growing (lots growing now but mostly in cut down 2 l bottles) and making my house habitable (or at least so that I have a place to sit down). Three months is enough to make a difference, gives me something to work on, a 'proper' deadline (will also plan party food/ canapes/ running buffet for anyone who pops in over the weekend).

monnagran

burtha, he probably did you and the kids a favour.  There won't be any torn loyalties.  No feeling bad if they have to choose who to spend Christmas with and that sort of thing.  No having to remember which house they are spending the weekend in.  I think that is possibly harder for children than  trying to keep a relationship going where one party is not prepared to make an effort.

mothernerd, we must share the same mindset.  Good luck with the 3 month project.  Keep us up to date with how it's going.

burtha

yup , it probably is monna.  
maybe the best description is the fact that the eldest gd didn't recognise him when he seen them a few months ago . . needless to say my daughter,  didn't remind her . 
sometimes the smallest things speak volumes  .

So yes , hopefully soon ,a very big black line can be drawn under everything .