Proposing - Asking her parents blessing

System

Mojisola wrote: »

Absolutely!

If my OH had asked my Dad, he would have told him to ask me because it would be me spending my life with him, not my Dad!

My Mom would have said "i'd rather you didnt"... or at least would have tried to put him off. She didnt like him and the feeling was mutual.

Bogof_Babe

Depends on a lot of things. Is she 16?

elsien

Loz01 wrote: »

I think its a good idea! Obviously its not really a "question" per say, you're an adult and can marry anyone if you want, but I just think its nice to ask and let your partners Mum and/or Dad know your plans before hand. Maybe just invite them to an informal lunch and say "I just wanted to let you know Im planning on proposing on xyz day" and I bet they'll be thrilled you told them first.

They might be thrilled but it's not about them it's about the potential wife to be. Do you really think she'd want family nudging and winking and dropping unsubtle hints before she had an inkling - that's certainly how mine would have behaved. I'd want to be the first to know, not the last.

Having sad that, my brother did the manly chat with FIL to be, but he can be a pompous so-and-so at times, and did redeem himself slightly by proposing at Victoria Falls.

Marvel1

Do you ask parents i it ok to get her pregnant?

Artytarty

We got "asked" by our now son in law last year.
H
At least he thinks he asked but in reality it wasn't of a declaration of intent at he hoped we would be happy about.
Daughter didn't know at the time, we were touched and now she knows and is glad he did what he wanted to.
All good.
No one has been offended!
I think it's a nice gesture, and of course we weren't going to say no.

Poor_Single_lady

I know a lot of people think it's nonsense but personally I would be really sad if I was asked without my parents being asked if he could ask.

I know it's old fashioned and so silly in lots of peoples eyes but everyone is different. If I was asked I would immediately think that I hope my dad knows.
I'm not old fashioned in other ways - just this would be important to me.

I think traditionally you are supposed to go to their house and see her dad only. (Although I may be wrong about that).
Also maybe we are a strange family (well probably!) but my dad would be so excited to be asked and included.

gettingtheresometime

Oh didn't ask my father but my BIL did.

Apparently my father was annoyed that Oh didn't but as I couldn't care less what my father thought, it didn't worry me

LilElvis

.... to be followed by the "choosing of the ring thread". Don't waste your time and do a forum search as I think we've had plenty.

Good luck!

zagfles

What if they said no? What would you do? Ask her anyway (like in that annoying song)? If so what's the point of asking them?

Or would you not propose and let her parents decide the answer rather than her?

I know it's traditional, but really, it's the 21st century.

parking_question_chap

Just as for the blessing, doesnt need to be a long discussion.

Its a nice tradition.