Proposing - Asking her parents blessing

brokenheartedman

So, I feel the time is right to pop the question to my girlfriend,I'm looking for some advice beforehand.

She is very close to her mum and dad, and I think it would mean alot to her (and them I suppose) to ask for their blessing beforehand. My question is, how do I go about this?

Do I call round to their house when they're both home and ask to talk to them? Do I forewarn them that I'd like to call round and discuss something with them?

Do I invite them out to lunch or something along them lines?

Any advice appreciated, especially from anybody who has either done this themseleves or been asked by the daughters boyrfriend.

elsien

I know it's not what you're asking but if anyone asked my parent's blessing before asking me first I'd be seriously unimpressed. Gives the impression their permission is needed and is somewhat paternalistic.
Just my two pennorth.

Timpu

Neighbour's soon to be SIL rang the parents and asked if they would be in of an afternoon. I think it was a cup of tea and a 'this is what I plan to do' type conversation. Parents were of course, delighted.

Good luck :beer:

PS. Not my kind of thing but each to their own.

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

Same girl as two years ago?

bouicca21

If you really want their blessing then you ask her first and then go together to her parents; ditto your own. Elsien would be 'seriously unimpressed'; I'd have been deeply upset.

brokenheartedman

Jojo_the_Tightfisted wrote: »

Same girl as two years ago?

Haha no, I actually found that thread before posting this and was going to post an update but it's closed so for anybody who was wanderering I won't keep you in suspense any longer...

...over the following weeks we remained friends, met up for a coffee a couple of times before eventually drifting apart. As far as I know she hasn't been in a relationship since.

...meanwhile, I regrouped, got back in the gym, went out more and a few months later met the girl I now intend to marry. Those who remember the old thread may remember that marriage/ living together/ babies wasn't on my immediate agenda, it's amazing how much things change when you meet the right person.

silvercar

I thought the tradition was to ask her father for permission.

cte1111

My husband talked about 'asking my parents' for permission to marry me. I was horrified and told him if he did I wouldn't marry him. I find the whole 'tradition' pretty disgusting and the subject being brought up made me wonder if I'd picked the wrong man (we are still happily married over 10 years later so happily not the case).

So my advice is, if you want to propose, then go for it, no-one else's permission needed. Women are no longer owned by their menfolk.

Loz01

I think its a good idea! Obviously its not really a "question" per say, you're an adult and can marry anyone if you want, but I just think its nice to ask and let your partners Mum and/or Dad know your plans before hand. Maybe just invite them to an informal lunch and say "I just wanted to let you know Im planning on proposing on xyz day" and I bet they'll be thrilled you told them first.

System

.... but what would you do if they said no?:eek:

Mojisola

cte1111 wrote: »

So my advice is, if you want to propose, then go for it, no-one else's permission needed. Women are no longer owned by their menfolk.

Absolutely!

If my OH had asked my Dad, he would have told him to ask me because it would be me spending my life with him, not my Dad!