Husband told me he is bi-sexual

LannieDuck

MPD wrote: »

Would you be open to a visit to an adult shop or website to buy an appendage so he could experience something similar within your marriage?

Agreed... is it possible he's not really interested in other men, but fancies trying anal sex?

iammumtoone

MPD wrote: »

Would you be open to a visit to an adult shop or website to buy an appendage so he could experience something similar within your marriage?

LannieDuck wrote: »

Agreed... is it possible he's not really interested in other men, but fancies trying anal sex?

The way the husband has worded this to the OP its too late for the above in my opinion.

If he had said something along the lines of. I love you and will never be unfaithful but I have have never gotten over wanting the experience of being with a man, would you consider helping me with this as it the nearest I am ever going to get. Your choice and I will respect your decision. That would have been something they could have worked on together - but he has blown it by saying he needs to be unfaithful.

waamo

MPD wrote: »

Would you be open to a visit to an adult shop or website to buy an appendage so he could experience something similar within your marriage?

That wouldn't be so good if he believes it's better to give than to receive. :shocked::shocked::shocked:

iammumtoone

waamo wrote: »

That wouldn't be so good if he believes it's better to give than to receive. :shocked::shocked::shocked:

I think you need to re-think that (just saying)

waamo

iammumtoone wrote: »

I think you need to re-think that (just saying)

I'm not meaning to sound crude but there are a fair few assumptions going on that may not be correct.

iammumtoone

waamo wrote: »

I'm not meaning to sound crude but there are a fair few assumptions going on that may not be correct.

Whatever the 'technicalities' it doesn't sound like the husband is interested in his wife helping with his desire (or the nearest he could get to it by staying faithful), only the original will do. The wife is probably not interested in helping either after the way she has been treated.

waamo

iammumtoone wrote: »

Whatever the 'technicalities' it doesn't sound like the husband is interested in his wife helping with his desire (or the nearest he could get to it by staying faithful), only the original will do. The wife is probably not interested in helping either after the way she has been treated.

Indeed. Its terribly sad but it sounds as though this has gone too far to recover from. In saying that who knows? Sometimes things work out and it really depends on what the OP wants.

barbiedoll

I too, think he's in deep denial. OP's first post stated that he said he was "bisexual..later changed to bi-curious"

Well, he can't be that "curious" as he's already had oral sex with a man, so he knows what that feels like. What is his background? Is he from a family/religion where he wouldn't have been able to come out without recriminations?

It's not an uncommon story, I had a work colleague who had been married for 16 years (with two children) when her husband confessed to having "romantic" feelings for another man. She convinced herself that it was just a phase and, not wanting to unsettle the children, agreed to husband seeing this other guy for a couple of "dates", I think she thought he was going to get it out of his system or something. Of course, he came screaming out of the closet and was going out, and staying out, every night. His wardrobe changed, as did his hairstyle, and she later found out that he had been banging everyone and everything that moved.

It almost destroyed her, she felt humiliated by him, and a complete idiot for letting him do so while she was still living under the same roof. He didn't even bother to see his daughters after the divorce, she always said it was as though the man she married had been possessed by a completely different entity, someone she didn't know at all.

OP....don't let him coerce you into accepting anything that you aren't happy with. Don't be made to feel guilty for cramping his style or for denying him his "needs"....if he's gay, then he has to be man enough to accept it. He can't pass the responsibility to you to allow him to dip his toe in the water so to speak. Either he wants to be a married man or he wants to be a single man with the choice to have sex with whoever he wants.

Otherwise he's just a cheat. And who wants to be married to a cheat?

MPD

iammumtoone wrote: »

Whatever the 'technicalities' it doesn't sound like the husband is interested in his wife helping with his desire (or the nearest he could get to it by staying faithful), only the original will do. The wife is probably not interested in helping either after the way she has been treated.

I don't know, maybe if she was not particularly gentle she may find the experience to be helpful.

Gavin83

MPD wrote: »

Would you be open to a visit to an adult shop or website to buy an appendage so he could experience something similar within your marriage?

I'm not gay so far from an expert on the matter but if he is gay I very much suspect this just won't cut it. There's a world of difference between having sex with a man and taking part in anal based sexual activity with a woman.