Husband told me he is bi-sexual

qwert_yuiop

Gloomendoom wrote: »

The number of demolished public conveniences is a testament to that.

Is this some weird euphemism?

System

Gloomendoom wrote: »

Maybe he just wants gay sex, not a relationship.

He wouldn't be alone. The number of demolished public conveniences is a testament to that.

Do you have a link by any chance that describes accurately 1) a decrease in the number of public toilets and 2) a causal link between said decrease and men wanting sex with other men?

Gloomendoom

qwert_yuiop wrote: »

Is this some weird euphemism?

No, an observation based on fact. Two local public conveniences were closed because they were disproportionately popular with hömösexual men.

I think the euphemism you are looking for is "cottaging".

hazyjo

I still think he's gay and so far in the closet he's in Narnia. He obviously does not want anyone to know, but has the chance of a no-strings fling.


He's already experimented, experienced it - so the curiosity line is just a cover.


Your later long post just says the same really as your first - he's just trying to justify it. Absolutely nothing has changed - fact is, he's asking if it's okay to cheat on you. That's a yes/no answer in my book.


Either: a) he doesn't cheat. b) he does cheat behind your back. c) he cheats and you know he's cheated. d) separate/divorce.


Jx

Gloomendoom

avogadro wrote: »

Do you have a link by any chance that describes accurately 1) a decrease in the number of public toilets and 2) a causal link between said decrease and men wanting sex with other men?

No, but here's what remains of a link one example.

Police close gay laybys - Coventry Telegraph
https://www.coventrytelegraph.net › News › Coventry News
22 Feb 2005 - ... busy A446 road leading from the M6 to the A45 Stonebridge junction which has ... The A446 layby has been infamous as a "cottaging" spot for years. It is close to public toilets that were eventually demolished because they

and another...

Plymouth 'sex den' toilets to be demolished

and another...

'Cottaging' loos could be closed - Manchester Evening News
https://www.manchestereveningnews.co.uk › News › Local News › Greater Manchester Police
19 Apr 2010 - A PUBLIC toilet could be demolished to deter 'cottaging' near to a children's playground. Concerns have been voiced by residents about the ...

Feel free to do your own research.

Diary

An unpopular view but OP you must practise safe sex with your husband now. This isn't going to end well and you don't want any surprises.

I say this from bitter experience of a brief marriage many years ago when my then husband cheated on me with another woman and I, and him, got more than we bargained for and a whole lot of grief all because he wanted to experience someone different.

FBaby

He did say he wasn't gay, he also said he does want to be with me, he does not want our marriage to end, but this is something he has to do at some point. (he is not really giving me much choice at the moment with the way he is talking)

Everything is summed here. What he is telling you is that he wants his cake and eat it. Of course he doesn't have to do it at any point, but that's what he is convincing himself of to try to justify it.

Has he always exhibited signs of selfishness? Because it doesn't get more selfish than that really. Again, how returning the situation and asking him to support you in doing something that is uncalled for, that you've never considered together, would make him very unhappy, but you have to do so therefore expect his approval? Think of something at least remotely realistic but significant and ask him how he would respond to you.

fairy_lights

justmydo wrote: »

he does want to be with me, he does not want our marriage to end, but this is something he has to do at some point. (he is not really giving me much choice at the moment with the way he is talking)

That's very selfish of him, he's really trying to have his cake and eat it isn't he? He's basically telling you that he's going to go and sleep with someone else, and by telling you about it in advance he can deny it was cheating because you knew all about it.
And of course, if you tell him that you aren't happy with him sleeping with someone else, he can accuse you of forcing him to deny his sexuality which will make you look like the bad guy.

System

Gloomendoom wrote: »

Feel free to do your own research.

Struggling to get your link to work, but a google search suggests that while the number of public toilets has indeed decreased, the reason is due to cuts to council budgets by central government.

http://www.bbc.com/news/uk-36405414

http://www.independent.co.uk/voices/closing-public-toilets-human-right-austerity-cuts-a7063346.html

Hermia

I cannot imagine this guy will be happy with just one experience that gets it out of his system. He sounds like his mind is almost made up so I would definitely use condoms if you are still sleeping with him.

FBaby wrote: »

Everything is summed here. What he is telling you is that he wants his cake and eat it. Of course he doesn't have to do it at any point, but that's what he is convincing himself of to try to justify it.

Has he always exhibited signs of selfishness? Because it doesn't get more selfish than that really. Again, how returning the situation and asking him to support you in doing something that is uncalled for, that you've never considered together, would make him very unhappy, but you have to do so therefore expect his approval? Think of something at least remotely realistic but significant and ask him how he would respond to you.

The selfishness if a problem really. He didn't even say to the OP that he has issues with monogamy and how about they both explore the idea of an open marriage. He seems to want to have a nice traditional wife at home whilst also acting like a single man.