When things hit rock bottom the only answer is to fight the way back up...

Hiddenidenity

Honeysucklelou2 wrote: »

Well done on achieving so much with your goals for August. Really impressed with the 11 free days out. Re the rent arrears, will the ex not be liable for half, thereby reducing your liability?

Sort of, however we are both just as liable for the full amount. Neither of us can be taken of the tenancy/court order until they are cleared in full. So no he won't pay half I don't think.

Hiddenidenity

mummytogirls wrote: »

Just made the crunch HI, mixture tasted amazing!! xx

Hope you enjoyed it as much as [STRIKE]I[/STRIKE] we do :rotfl:

DrSpendLittle

Hugs, Hidden xx

Learning to forgive a parent is one of the hardest life lessons. My dad died before I was able to do this and whilst that was tough, I didn't have to go through the forgive and forget process with him. It's impossible to forget - he will always have an imprint on my personality and character. But I'm at peace with that now as, ultimately, that makes me who I am today. It's taken time to get here, but you will get there too!

My DF, on the other hand, has to deal with a whole world of !!!!!! from his mother - a woman who rejected him as a child and still rejects him as an adult, no matter what he achieves. The effect on his self esteem and confidence is obvious. It's so hard because she will never change. He has to be the one who changes. I realised some time ago that her behaviour was probably caused by her own 'issues' of feeling rejected by her own father and being criticised as a parent which, ultimately, led to her treating DF in the exact same way her father treated her. But she doesn't see it. I hate how she makes DF feel. He has put up with so much from her over time that he just can't move past it now. He doesn't want to. So, we just need to put up with her and try to rationalise what triggers her behaviour toward us and make the situation about her esteem issues, not about our 'failures'. Once that becomes a psychological habit (I'm there, DF isn't quite!) then it's one of the most self-empowering things.

I see a lot of strength in how you've handled life so far, Hidden, and I'm sure you'll get through this stage of your life with the successes you deserve. Slowly slowly catchy monkey.

Right, DF back from butchers, better hide this :rotfl:

Hiddenidenity

Thank you DSL, I hope one day I reach the point you have. I think I'm more like your DF right now

Anyway enough of my moaning and back to what it should be.. My mum dropped the bombshell today I owe her yet more money :yawn: I've told her she needs to sit down and decide exactly what I owe her and then no changing it. She says this then never says how much or what for! I really don't want to add it too my debt so will set mini targets along side my debt busting to pay whatever she decides I owe her.

Will post September goals soon although really my month runs from the 9th :cool: I've completed August goals though so will do from the 1st this time.

abba1772

Why won't she tell you what the money is owed for.......that's not fair xx

earthgirl

Hope you get it sorted with your mum, it does seem difficult to deal with. Well done on August goals!

Hiddenidenity

I don't think she's sure herself! She keeps referring to "years ago" :cool:

Will push her further for a definite answer on Monday if she doesn't reply before then. We will see her Monday anyway.

We have had a busy day in the end, outside looks good if I do say so myself We went to the park because the weather decided to stay nice (now youngest is complaining, think she walked a bit too far ) It's hard when she wants to and I feel like all I do is say no sometimes
She seems a bit more settled with some better painkiller in her and an extra round of breathing treatments. Fingers crossed! She's been doing so well!

I've stepped up the exercise again though and have started the 30 day shred. I have had no coffee :eek: or diet coke! and I haven't replaced it with anything similar either. Had a cup of tea in a morning (no milk/sugar) and water the rest of the time. Before this I'm ashamed to say I don't think I ever chose to drink water

sashybo

:eek: The 30 day shred! You're brave! The first time I did it I was so stiff the next morning that I could hardly move. :rotfl: I think it would kill me outright now. :eek:

abba1772

I have that DVD........so far it's just collecting dust :rotfl:

Hiddenidenity

Well in the end it was a very late night I ended up watching the fight! well worth staying up for though and it means I got all my cleaning done while waiting for it.

So today will be pretty lazy :rotfl:

Need to grab some milk this week but other than that we can manage till next weekend. Next weekend will probably be slightly more because I'll need pack lunch things for the kids but hopefully not too much.