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Why do older parents forget what it's like to have young children???

misterzim
Posts: 54 Forumite
More of a venting post this one but need to ask what others think.
I'm travelling 150 miles this weekend to see family for a significant birthday. A local restaurant has been hired out for a large family gathering. I am taking my 3 year old with me and my dad decides it would be a good idea to book the table for 7pm - bang on my child's bedtime. Seriously!!!!
"Oh it'll be ok, they'll be fine" is the usual response I get. Or on trips out previously where my child has been tired and cranky and just wants to sleep I'd get "Oh, they're not tired, they just want to play".
Does anyone else get this from their parents now that you have a young child? Just interested.
I'm travelling 150 miles this weekend to see family for a significant birthday. A local restaurant has been hired out for a large family gathering. I am taking my 3 year old with me and my dad decides it would be a good idea to book the table for 7pm - bang on my child's bedtime. Seriously!!!!
"Oh it'll be ok, they'll be fine" is the usual response I get. Or on trips out previously where my child has been tired and cranky and just wants to sleep I'd get "Oh, they're not tired, they just want to play".
Does anyone else get this from their parents now that you have a young child? Just interested.
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Comments
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Maybe they've had quarter of a century to forget.0
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Have you tried putting forward a solution?
To me a one off isn't the end of the world. Make sure they nap during the day, or get them up super early so they do nap0 -
The large family gathering isn't all about your 3 year old, your 3 year old isn't even the star guest. Maybe others have work commitments? Or need to eat at regular times.
Maybe your 3 year old could have a nap during the day and stay up later? Or feed your 3 year old at their usual supper time and let them play quietly over dinner?I'm a Forum Ambassador on the housing, mortgages & student money saving boards. I volunteer to help get your forum questions answered and keep the forum running smoothly. Forum Ambassadors are not moderators and don't read every post. If you spot an illegal or inappropriate post then please report it to forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com (it's not part of my role to deal with this). Any views are mine and not the official line of MoneySavingExpert.com.0 -
I hate late mealtimes - I'm starving by 4pm.
I think some people may not remember what it's like - tend to remember the highlights when they reminisce and don't necessarily remember some of the difficulties with things like going out.
Some people may have had children that were just very good at managing to fit in around things without too much fuss.
Some people may not have had to worry so much about the awkward bits because they had a nanny to look after the children.
Everyone's experience of having children is different - I'm already starting to forget how difficult a newborn was to start with and he's only 6 months old!Mortgage remaining: £42,260 of £77,000 (2.59% til 03/18 - 2.09% til 03/23)
Savings target June 18 - £22,281.99 / £25,0000 -
I remember this. And the other one is child-free people, they have no idea how exhausting it is keeping an angry or tired toddler from going mental for the duration of a late event.
I always said having a child is roughly 5 years of not being able to do anything normally.
I remember a family 60th birthday party in a chinese restaurant, starting in the evening, when I had 3 very small kids - stressful and awful. They were all tired from the early start, the drive up there, staying at someone elses house etc, and they were all sick that night from eating unusual food. Didnt enjoy a single moment.''A moment's thinking is an hour in words.'' -Thomas Hood0 -
Maybe, just maybe, the world doesn't revolve around your 3 year old.0
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Maybe, just maybe, I know that the world doesn't revolve around my 3 year old (although mine does). My question was to do with the general lack of thought about ALL guests on this occasion but also the general lack of memory about what it's like to have young children.
My child could nap in the day, if we tire them out, but they will still know when it's bedtime and will still play up later in the evening and be bored sat at a table for a few hours.
I forgot to mention that we will be going to the meal at 7pm and have never asked for the time to be moved to accommodate us and we will deal with what occurs, hopefully my child will be fine, we shall see.0 -
Older parents of yester year didn't have worlds that revolved around their children.
Children fitted into the adults life whereas todays mentality seems to be the adults fit in around the kids.
Its a birthday party dinner and there are more people there than your 3 year old to consider.
You have to be flexible and teach your child compromise.
Do what many older parents would have done. Get them up earlier, put them to nap later and allow them a late night to enjoy themselves being fussed over.0 -
Maybe, just maybe, I know that the world doesn't revolve around my 3 year old (although mine does). My question was to do with the general lack of thought about ALL guests on this occasion but also the general lack of memory about what it's like to have young children.
That's the whole point, you're assuming that the only reason someone could possibly have done this terrible thing is because they've forgotten what life is like with a toddler. It's perfectly possible that they remember exactly what it was like, just that they don't subscribe to the idea that one 3 yr old should dictate everyone else's plans.0 -
Agree with the others. It's not all about you.
Maybe they did consider ALL guests and more people would be inconvenienced by another time than you by 7pm. If there's anyone else you can leave your child with then perhaps do that and enjoy an adult night out, otherwise take a pushchair and let them nap in a corner in that or something if they get tired.0
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