A whole new world, for now

Cherryfudge

I'm sorry to hear some of the news hasn't been so good. It's nice you will have some time in London though and be able to see family. We had a super time but I'm still recovering from fitting in such a lot. I need time off to recover.  

Well done for progress on the Wii and at work too.

milann

Mmm…..sounds like you definitely need to work on the finances with Dh. I know we are terrible at discussing finances and Dh always just says we’re fine. We do both have joint accounts,I however, treat mine as mine and pay food, household and clothing purchases for us both from them and he treats his as his and pays bills from his account. It is very flexible though and has always worked for us. He will be retiring properly though in a few weeks time and we’ll both be on fairly similar money…..state pension and small work pension, although his work pension is more than mine. We will need to look at finances as I think I definitely get the better deal atm.
Hope you enjoyed your time in London even though the time wasn’t all your own.

in_need_of_direction

Milann, it’s not just the finances I need to work on with dh. There are other things that really bother me that he never gets around to. My big concern is that these could lead to make or break.  I’m not sure it’s healthy for me to be with someone who, while always offering cups of tea, won’t address the stuff that really bothers me.  Even typing this makes me feel so sad.

this morning I engaged with mr wii for the first time in 2 weeks. Signature has been updated to reflect the 3lb weight gain.  This isn’t good but reflective of things encountered over the past few weeks.  Too many snacks and not enough meals.  This needs to be addressed.  

We got a win from Ernie this month which was roughly the equivalent of costs incurred relating to the building work.  An item is on order but no delivery date yet.  

Work is piling up, all to be delivered by end of March. It’s overwhelming to the extent that I avoid doing anything.  On other news, looks like a 2 year old fee I’d written off is likely to be paid, at least in part which will help with this year’s pension.  

Today I am grateful for 
a clear kitchen
dd’s ongoing recovery
recent contact with a friend 

in_need_of_direction

Also, I’ve been having spending urges that I’m trying to ignore.  To help address these, I will bid at online auctions with the lowest bid possible for something I like but don’t expect to win.  This week, I have acquired the second item where I won with a low bid.  I don’t know if this is good news or bad

beanielou

Make or break sounds very sobering. 

Cherryfudge

It sounds like a tough time, so well done for addressing issues and finding a way to deal with the urge to spend. I think the issues with you husband have been long term and bothered you for a while as you've mentioned something in the past. Yet it also seems there are times when he is helpful and supportive.

So often things go wrong financially because people give and take unequally, and I'm sure that's true of other areas in our lives too. So many questions come to mind: has he always been like this? And were his parents like it? And what would be the cost to him of addressing these matters? Those are just hypothetical questions. Obviously it's none of my business what these issues are, so I'm not expecting answers. It sounds from your tone as though this might be active avoidance on his part rather than him failing to see that it matters. Perhaps there is a friend/relative/GP etc. who might be able to advocate for you with him?

Hoping for a better week for you this week.

jwil

Sorry things are a bit tough at the moment. 

Well done on the PB win. 

milann

Sorry it’s getting toward make or break situation for you. I’m guessing this is also impacting the need to spend and snack. Hope things settle or you find answers for yourself. 

in_need_of_direction

Thanks for all the support, it really helps knowing there’s a place where I can express concerns but that doesn’t set alarm bells ringing. Plus, the insights are really helpful as I’d been completely oblivious to the impact on my snacking, spending and weight gain. I appreciate the suggestions but one of my big issues is his apparent willingness to engage with his gp that never comes to fruition. The same can be said of dentists, opticians, pensions advisers, hr, etc. He is very good in lots of ways, a bit too accommodating of my children, and I know how much I’d miss him but I’m not sure I can continue being fed platitudes while life passes us by.  It also is impacting on my self worth.  Is there a reason why he disregards my views while apparently accepting them. Maybe I am just full of !!!!!! to the extent it’s just not worth arguing about.
still we currently are where we are.

i had a conversation with mr wii this morning. I’m slightly down weight wise but not enough to hit a lower pound. Still, that’s something to aim for over the next week.  Work continues to be hectic but some slow inroads have been made. Got news on Friday of a 1 year extension to a current contract which is great.  Over the week, I had a meet up with one friend and an email from two others in response to me reaching out.  Only spends were food related although these could have been smaller with improved planning. 

The item ordered arrived on Wednesday in a very battered and open box.  My workman swung by on Friday and confirmed everything needed was there.  He will be back next Thursday and stage one will be done.  There will be lots of dust and mess but so be it.  It’s the start of making things easier and, longer term, the house more saleable.

yesterday we picked up our third ever too good to go bag and our best one yet.  It’s from an independent bakery with whom I would shop from time to time. They specialise in flavoured potato bread, soda bread and pancakes. There were none of those, they generally sell out but we got 2 large Belfast baps that will go really well with home made soup from the freezer, coconut and iced fingers, half a fruit bannock, a doughnut, a finger roll and three soft small burger type baps.  Some things will be sliced and frozen ready for toasting when needed.  

Our other two purchases were from chains and nowhere near as useful. I was thinking that this could be one to aim for on Friday evenings to supplement weekend foods e.g. we wouldn’t have sausages for breakfast during the week but night have these or eggs at the weekend.

other news this week is that we saw the amazing Alison Moyet in concert and found free parking within 5 mins of the venue.  That girl knows how to take care of her voice and also how to use it. Next Thursday we shall see snow patrol then nothing planned until Katherine Ryan at the end of March. Moneywise, things are ticking over although some stock up shops were needed.  

Today, I am determined to finish a report and will reward myself by meeting my friend for coffee if I do. We have missed the past three weeks because of one thing and another. 

Today I am grateful for
replacing the clothes line prop that was a casualty of the last storms
discovering a tgtg bag that works for us
seeing the end in sight for a difficult client.

milann

The too good to go bags sound great.
Enjoy the caffe with your friend…..we all need rewards. 👏👏
Don’t get me going about my Dh needing a doctors appointment and totally denying there is anything wrong with him when there most obviously is 🤨