A whole new world, for now

beanielou

So hoping that you can find a way forward that works for you xxx

Cherryfudge

Sending hugs. Such a difficult situation, and perhaps one that will be worked out in lots of small steps rather than one big one. Would it help to itemise everything - lack of access to his business email, him having access to yours, the one joint account, him having his own account, proportionate contribution, you having funded him through study etc etc… then either hit the biggest first or write him a letter setting it out in business-like terms. It certainly doesn't seem fair and equitable from here. Also consider his parents' pattern of responsibilities as people tend to default to what they learned subconsciously as children, without ever, as adults, thinking it through properly or seeing it objectively.

HairyHandofDartmoor

I agree with Cherry and the others. It doesn't seem fair. I thought being married meant you shared assets. DH and I share our money equally (not that we have much but still).

I think writing it down in the manner Cherry suggests could help. I hope you sort something out amicably.

My stepmum used to refuse to cook dinner for my dad when he'd upset her .

in_need_of_direction

Thanks folks for all the support and input. He does most of the cooking so that option is somewhat limited. The thing is, he can be generous with gifts etc but I'd sooner some of the day to day pressure was removed. For example, we shopped last Thursday evening and bought a big punnet of mushrooms. On fri, he was in the sparks shop getting lunch and picked up some breaded type mushrooms that I like. Why when he knows the ones we have could go bad!
It's weird, he's not an only child but is the oldest and possibly never had to share when growing up. He also spent at least 10 years in debt and is very protective of money pots though is ok with my one time savings being depleted to pay bills. I don't get it.
On other news, the nightmare is lurching from bad to worse. Other clients are making reasonable demands and I need to free up time for them. This week will be another 7 days of work. Still, it's all money in the bank when I get around to invoicing.
Met my old boss on Monday and he's given me a lead for some more work so I will follow up on that today. I need to call into mother on way to work to drop off some Halloween baking that I did last night and that surprisingly worked out ok. Today I am grateful for
Baby steps
Emerging clarity
Having here as a safe place to unload and get input

beanielou

Baby steps are always good

in_need_of_direction

So, DH seems to believe things have blown over until the next time. He doesn't get that things need to be resolved rather than temporarily put to bed. I don't have the time or energy for it this week. I, as usual, am tired. My hospital appointment has been put back again until January. This is since August when I sought it after waiting for the 3 month review due in April that did not happen. I am fed up and whingey and probably just need to application of a boot to my nether regions.
Today I am grateful for
A new simple recipe that nearly worked
Baby steps continuing
Limited numbers of trick and treaters - they disturb the dog!

jwil

I hope you manage to get some rest this weekend x

beanielou

Baby steps all good.
Boo to the appointment.

Cherryfudge

That's a very long three months .

No wonder you feel dragged down, you must need a proper break so much.

I hope the lead for the other work is fruitful (but not exhausting).

in_need_of_direction

Today I have serious pressures. I am meeting potential new client at 3 but need to submit a tender before that. I hate writing tenders but this is for a 6 day pa job guaranteed for 3 years. It would help to steady the annual income. I got away from the nightmare at 7.15 last night having missed lunch due to a hastily arranged meeting. As usual, I am tired but have decided to investigate the possibility of a hot stone massage tomorrow that I probably can't afford.
I have sub contracted dd to do some work to get jobs over the line so pennies can come in.
On other Mse news, I will never get badges! I tried to beat the insurance quote from my existing providers. Cheapest option was £20 a month dearer than from incumbent with only a trickle in cashback. I was miffed at a price increase but will just suck it up. I even tried saga having had the big 50 earlier this year. I'd always thought that when I'd be in their target age range that my life would be sorted.
Anyhow, need to get a wiggle on. Today I am grateful for
Gifted homemade dog biscuits
Help from DH on work stuff
A resolution on a work issue