feel so stupid

Towser

Helping Autistic s recognise the triggers for their meltdowns can help them gain some degree of control.
Helping them avoid those triggers can be difficult so having strategies in place to keep them and others safe is something the whole community can contribute to.
Autistics often know what is needed but are sometimes left out of the conversation.

Towser

Understanding Autism is a way of understanding the person that you have. It should not be the will to "change" the person or the drive to make them "normal". A good employer should tune into the person.
The Autistic perceives the world differently and it is their job to accept that as they are first and then to help them acquire skills to work successfully in this world.

System

Sam - i dare say most people don't have friends deep on that level, I'm lucky to have 1, but other than that it's just be colleagues who i get on with but aren't close to, u haven't observed my parents or other people generally being close to anyone

Towser - all true, i think as you say, position on spectrum and going from there, i think the condition can in some cases almost be forgotten, we are in a world where everyone has to "fit in or fluff off" on a work front- i had to make a lot of changes and i think most people have, but the capability is there, everyone has their own issues making the sacrifice hard - my partner has anemia and I have terrible eczema, either could threaten our jobs if uncontrolled, and society would have limited sympathy - people always blame my diet etc when actually it's an allergy

marliepanda

Towser wrote: »

Unbelievable - this makes me so sad.
Autism is a difficult concept that is why it is called a hidden disability. It's Autism awareness month so here goes:



This is socially unacceptable. Essentially what Autism is so he cannot deserve a job? That is why only 15% of Autistic adults get jobs.

We know what interests him but don't know his "special interest" "talent" or "savant quality" maybe whatever it is if he has one. Not everyone has one. Which is why I was asking. Using this knowledge employers are more likely to employ him and support him. The job would be engineered to suit him making use of his "special interest" "talent" or "savant quality" and accommodate Autistic qualities good or bad as they are different thinkers.

Making allowances does not allow for people kicking off and screaming in the workplace. No one has to put up with that.

He has described what he's interested in. The viewpoint that all those on the spectrum have a 'savant quality' and no social skills is not true. He knows what he is interested in. You seem to think he needs his mum to tell him this?! You're the one who is treating him like a child.

He knows what he wants, but he doesn't have the social ability to cope with that yet. His counsellor can help him with coping mechanisms. Asking 'mum what do I enjoy doing' will not. Many people with autism have jobs, I work with them and I have taught them. In no job or education place is 'kicking off' tolerated.

Autism causes many differences which should be tolerated. Kicking off, getting aggressive, shouting and screaming are NOT differences which should be tolerated.

Towser

"The FOCUS should be teaching people with Autism to ADAPT to the social world around them, while still retaining the essence of WHO THEY ARE, including their autism."

Dr Temple Grandin

marliepanda

Towser wrote: »

"The FOCUS should be teaching people with Autism to ADAPT to the social world around them, while still retaining the essence of WHO THEY ARE, including their autism."

Dr Temple Grandin

So sending abusive messages, kicking off and getting aggressive are the essence of who Sam M is?!

No. Just no.

Towser

Sam M you have demonstrated that you know the difference from right and wrong, I know you can learn from it. You know "kicking off" is socially unacceptable
Don't let this nasty experience on this forum make you more socially isolated and possibly mentally ill in the future.

Blackpool_Saver

I have logged on and seen an apology from Sam in my inbox....so thanks Sam, good luck.

Blackpool_Saver

What a curse Autism is...my son has it, I know only too well how the circular conversations go, the endless misunderstandings, the frustration and anger, the outbursts, the anxiety...horrible....however after many years we do seem to have found a med that helps...my son isn't low end and low functioning he is very clever (in his own areas) struggles with general stuff though as many ASD people do...and this med has really helped him...

sam_m

marliepanda wrote: »

So sending abusive messages, kicking off and getting aggressive are the essence of who Sam M is?!

No. Just no.

That is not who i am like. I am getting better with every passing day, the day that i was rude and snapped was just a one off and i know that it won;t happen again because i am learning new things in how to handle the situation. I should have asked if i could have taken unpaid leave or asked if they could have left the job open or if not thank them for the opportunity and i look forward to possibly applying in the near future.

The fact is though i didn;t and i feel terrible about it because its so hard getting jobs in my area