feel so stupid

marliepanda

sam_m wrote: »

That is not who i am like. I am getting better with every passing day, the day that i was rude and snapped was just a one off and i know that it won;t happen again because i am learning new things in how to handle the situation. I should have asked if i could have taken unpaid leave or asked if they could have left the job open or if not thank them for the opportunity and i look forward to possibly applying in the near future.

The fact is though i didn;t and i feel terrible about it because its so hard getting jobs in my area

Have you contacted them and apologised for your behaviour? It may go a long way to them potentially employing you in the future. Explain you are asking for help with how to control your outburst.

It probably won't help you with the exact job you were interviewing for, but if you apply again you won't just be 'the guy who kicked off' you'll be 'the guy who kicked off but had the balls to apologise for it' as most people wouldn't.

IAmWales

Towser wrote: »

Helping Autistic s recognise the triggers for their meltdowns can help them gain some degree of control.
Helping them avoid those triggers can be difficult so having strategies in place to keep them and others safe is something the whole community can contribute to.
Autistics often know what is needed but are sometimes left out of the conversation.

Please don't refer to people on the spectrum as "autistics". It is a horrible phrase and best left several decades ago. They have a condition, the condition does not define them.

Towser

Please don't refer to people on the spectrum as "autistics". It is a horrible phrase and best left several decades ago. They have a condition, the condition does not define them.

I knew somebody would nit pick at this. I have wrestled with it for more than a few years now. I totalling know what you mean. Do you wanna fight? That is your opinion. You deal with it. We are comfortable with it in our family and this is my opinion. I only use it for speed to get my point across and don't need to be uber PC. You are right of course but at the moment I am not sweating the small stuff. Jog on.

sam_m

marliepanda wrote: »

Have you contacted them and apologised for your behaviour? It may go a long way to them potentially employing you in the future. Explain you are asking for help with how to control your outburst.

It probably won't help you with the exact job you were interviewing for, but if you apply again you won't just be 'the guy who kicked off' you'll be 'the guy who kicked off but had the balls to apologise for it' as most people wouldn't.

I was not actually going to say this but i wrote a letter yesterday evening and the KFC was open today so me and my friend popped in their today and handed my letter with the apology for kicking off in it. I probably would not want to apply for the position again because i don't think there would be any point and most likely would not get it. But i pray to god one company will one day give me a chance, maybe KFC was not to be and i will be in a better situation even by next xmas

Haylescom

Sam, I don't know if you missed my previous comment as there's been a lot of to'ing and fro'ing, or maybe it just wasn't helpful, but I do think it's worth going over some social stories with your counsellor if you haven't done already.

sam_m

can i ask what you mean by going over social stories

Do you mean telling the counsellor what social things i have done in the past, advice about social situations or how to handle them better.

If you mean the last two i have already spoken about the handling the situation better and has given me advice about talking to girls. For example just today there was this lady that was out in our town dressed up in a Mary Poppins outfit LOL and she was wonderful getting members of the public to take part. I told her she was really funny and had a great quirky fun attitude and she was really grateful and told me she comes town every good friday/xmas fun days and dresses up.

daytona0

Towser wrote: »

I knew somebody would nit pick at this. I have wrestled with it for more than a few years now. I totalling know what you mean. Do you wanna fight? That is your opinion. You deal with it. We are comfortable with it in our family and this is my opinion. I only use it for speed to get my point across and don't need to be uber PC. You are right of course but at the moment I am not sweating the small stuff. Jog on.

Well umm with all due respect but yesterday you quoted like 4 people whose opinions you did not agree with.

http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showpost.php?p=72397030&postcount=121

To re-direct the question you posed in that post back at you:

How is using the term "autistics" constructive to a disabled person?

The 4 people you quoted are, in all likelihood, just everyday normal people who have little to no experience of autism. Their opinions are as equally ingrained as you using 'autistics' as a term within your family.

In order for people to respect and tolerate your use of a term which would otherwise be PC, you kind of have to respect and tolerate the opinions of others...

Personally, I think that you are doing a lot of good stuff for your child BUT it is obviously coloring your view in relation to other situations. Telling OP to ask mummy what their talents are is just a one size fits all approach and may not be the best approach to helping OP. The OP here actually kind of gets what they can and cannot do, what they like doing and what causes problems. I think that posters are having a go at you purely because it looks like you've disregarded that and gave a bit of a stock answer, though I will openly admit that you've at least tried to help which is appreciated.

Haylescom

The social stories I've used with people with ASD give examples of situations (pictoral sometimes for younguns) that you could find yourself in that you wouldn't necessarily know how react to. It gives you a chance to put yourself in the shoes of everybody involved in the story, think about how you would react, how others might react, the consequences etc.
Like I said yesterday, the people I work with are much younger than you, but by talking about some of these things they're able to consider appropriate reactions and how others may be thinking that they wouldn't have previously thought about.

surveyqueenuk

Hi Sam, I recognise you from another forum and you seemed to be doing so well. I don't mean to preach but you absolutely MUST take your antidepressant every single day. It won't work properly otherwise. Any doctor will tell you this.

There is nothing wrong with taking ADs. Do you think Stephen Fry is weak and a "nutcase"? The Rock? JK Rowling? I could go on, as so many famous people have taken these tablets. It is far weaker to stick your head in the sand and not bother trying to change. I wish you all the best.

Towser

Well umm with all due respect but yesterday you quoted like 4 people whose opinions you did not agree with.

http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showpost.php?p=72397030&postcount=121

To re-direct the question you posed in that post back at you:

How is using the term "autistics" constructive to a disabled person?

The 4 people you quoted are, in all likelihood, just everyday normal people who have little to no experience of autism. Their opinions are as equally ingrained as you using 'autistics' as a term within your family.

In order for people to respect and tolerate your use of a term which would otherwise be PC, you kind of have to respect and tolerate the opinions of others...

Yes this is a common mistake of mine. I don't understand what I have done. Is it a social rules thing as I have often wondered if I am on the spectrum myself. My mother often said I wasn't "right". Academically I excelled but getting on with people has been a nightmare especially with people in the workplace and neighbours. I have very few friends and now I am socially isolated although I do have my own family. It is said women are only diagnosed with Autism when one of their children has been. Sorry to hijack thread.

'autistics' I didn't think it was that bad because it is used within my Facebook support community, but I do know what you mean.