Visitors when you've just had a baby

divadee

justme111 wrote: »

How lucky!
Sleeping for about 40 minutes at a time , on someone's lap or chest or in a constantly rocking moses basket,otherwise either crying or feeding. Sometimes crying so much she was unable to feed. Trying all possible remedies for colicks, formulas, seeing osteopaths and reflexologists , taking homeopathic calming pills me ( I do not even remember who sent me those, thank you ). No matter day or night. Feeding in first days usually meant me crying from pain. Second stomach hanging as if it was an apron in front of the usual one, sore. Walking under the rain with a pram at midnight trying to get the baby to sleep.
One of the worst times of my life, may be the worst one. Even now 12 years later when I see a car seat with a sleeping baby with a mother sat near by sipping coffee or a couple dining I feel a pang of jealousy. Never happened to me. Any swinging or rocking chair was not working either , once she spent 12 minutes in a Fisher price swing- that was it.

This sounds like my experience recently!! Baby was fine for the day she was born. It all kicked off on the Monday. She wouldn't sleep for literally hours. We tried everything. Every colic remedy, chiropractors, probiotics, swings, slings, beds, different formulas. We were averaging 2 hours very broken sleep a day. We were not in a good way. We tried driving her in the car, pushing her in the pram for hours at night nothing worked.

It turns out she suffers from severe reflux and at 9 weeks old now and after being put on medication at 7 weeks old she is like a different baby. A normal one!!!

I wouldn't wish it on anyone. And without family and friends here to help keep her upright and give us a small break we would of gone crackers.

ViolaLass

OP,

this is your chance to state the conditions.

When we had our daughter, I told people that visits might be as short as 10 minutes, depending on what I could cope with when they arrived. I also didn't lift a finger to do anything for guests (and neither did my OH).

No one complained but had they done so, they would have been shown the door. Visits generally did last much longer than 10 minutes because I felt I had the freedom to tell them to go when I wanted.

Do what feels right for you three.

Edited to add: all our family members had to travel for hours to get to us too. It didn't change our policy. My sisters were particularly clever as they had their 10 minute visit (which lasted half an hour) then went and did our shopping for us and came back for another visit.

justme111

divadee wrote: »

It turns out she suffers from severe reflux and at 9 weeks old now and after being put on medication at 7 weeks old she is like a different baby. A normal one!!! .

Tried gaviscon as well- did not work. So must have been something else.

divadee

justme111 wrote: »

Tried gaviscon as well- did not work. So must have been something else.

Gaviscon didn't work for us either. Ranitidine is what has done the trick. We have to have her weighed weekly as the dose has to be increased with how much she weighs but it's a godsend.

I feel for you. We had 7 weeks of hell. We were both broken people after 2 hours broken sleep in 24 hours each. We tried shifts but you could hear the baby screaming no matter what you put in your ears!

justme111

Don't remember whether we tried ranitidin - may be we missed that option- what a shame if it could have been sorted - anyway good to know it's not only me :eek:. Glad you found a solution
Mine grown out of it and has been nice to deal with and not a problem re food so there is light at the end of the tunnel:)

cyantist

That sounds like me for the last 5 months! The reflux and heartburn has been so awful, so I dread to think how it must be for a tiny baby who can't even try to do anything about it. No wonder they weren't sleeping and screamed almost constantly.

Nothing has worked for me, even prescription meds. Though ranitidine occasionally took the edge off it. I'm glad it worked for your little one divadee, and glad yours grew out of it justme.

On the plus side, at least I'm already used to 2 hours broken sleep in 24 hours. And now I don't even have to get up for work in the mornings.

justme111

My pregnancy was a breeze . Hard work started after. So in you case it may well be other way around .

Robisere

There is another side to this debate.

I am granddad to 4: 2 of each by ds and dd. I was first to hold each one, initially because the other gparents did not give a damn and also because I had a great boss (also a doting granddad!) who gave me time off to go to hospital, where each baby was born. Holding my own chidren was wonderful, but I never got to do that when they were born. Holding each new grandchild was simply breathtaking, and this ex-soldier was moved to tears each time. I have a unique bond with all of them, but I don't see it as a competition, it's simply that the others still don't give a damn.

That's not to say that grandma doesn't have a say: she was there a few hours after me in each case. But I will never forget those births and never will: it was magical. To comment on your own situation: it sounds petty behaviour by those who should know better, if it bothers you, let them wait.

sheramber

With my first I was in hospital for 7 days- normal then.

When I came home on the Friday my parents came to stay for the weekend to help. Work meant they couldn't stay any longer.

When I had my second I was admitted three weeks before hand so my parents came 250miles to stay and look after child no 1 as DH was working.

I came home after 2 days and my parents stayed for 3 weeks.

I was very grateful for the help as I was able to concentrate on the new baby.

cyantist

You're lucky sheramber - if I thought they would be a help I wouldn't have an issue with them coming and staying.

They all stress me out at the best of times. The in laws as they don't do anything to help or even offer, and my parents because although they do offer to help more than the in laws do (though not an awful lot since they got smartphones which they are glued to non-stop), they end up doing half jobs or taking so long doing the things that it's just not worth them bothering.