Visitors when you've just had a baby

Pop_Up_Pirate

patchwork_cat wrote: »

So you find chaos, no sleep, complete and utter awe and adoration, dull? Well we are different people that is for sure. So you didn't have doctors, midwives and health visitors calling regularly?

Newborn baby does nothing but sleep sleep sleep. Occasionally, they might make an appearance to have dinner.
My first baby slept solid for 40 hours.

I suppose those people who can't leave baby alone, and insist on waking it up every couple of hours to feed, change or bathe it might find it chaotic. I'm sure baby does too.

Midwife called in a morning for 20 minutes, which was extremely dull. "how are you?" "how is baby?" "how is breast feeding?" "I need to weigh it" "No you don't. She's sleeping and she's fine"

How exciting!

alwaysskint96

Pop_Up_Pirate wrote: »

Newborn baby does nothing but sleep sleep sleep. Occasionally, they might make an appearance to have dinner.
My first baby slept solid for 40 hours.

I suppose those people who can't leave baby alone, and insist on waking it up every couple of hours to feed, change or bathe it might find it chaotic. I'm sure baby does too.

Midwife called in a morning for 20 minutes, which was extremely dull. "how are you?" "how is baby?" "how is breast feeding?" "I need to weigh it" "No you don't. She's sleeping and she's fine"

How exciting!

Sounds like my 2nd daughter with the sleep, And with all of my kids I was stir crazy of being indoors by the time they were 48 hours old. In fact I was discharged from hospital with my son after 24 hours, came home had bath, fed him the put him in car and drove him to visit his nan lol. Certainly wouldnt want to have been stuck indoors with no visitors

justme111

How lucky!
Sleeping for about 40 minutes at a time , on someone's lap or chest or in a constantly rocking moses basket,otherwise either crying or feeding. Sometimes crying so much she was unable to feed. Trying all possible remedies for colicks, formulas, seeing osteopaths and reflexologists , taking homeopathic calming pills me ( I do not even remember who sent me those, thank you ). No matter day or night. Feeding in first days usually meant me crying from pain. Second stomach hanging as if it was an apron in front of the usual one, sore. Walking under the rain with a pram at midnight trying to get the baby to sleep.
One of the worst times of my life, may be the worst one. Even now 12 years later when I see a car seat with a sleeping baby with a mother sat near by sipping coffee or a couple dining I feel a pang of jealousy. Never happened to me. Any swinging or rocking chair was not working either , once she spent 12 minutes in a Fisher price swing- that was it.

cyantist

patchwork_cat wrote: »

We finally had a falling out that Christmas and haven't spoken for 23 years. So my advice is be firm , do what you want and follow that through with no emotional blackmail or bullying making you alter your path. Anyone who comes should bring with them a meal for you and support you and the baby. If they just want to hold a baby then tell them to get stuffed, if they are there to help, embrace them because you will need it.

I'm not surprised you fell out. That's awful.

The posts here just show how different it can be for new parents. Some babies sleep sleep sleep but not all do and lots wake up every couple of hours or more wanting to be fed regardless.

I've been pretty much quarantined for the last 3 weeks and haven't even found that particularly dull. I'm sure I'm not going to be bored without visitors. I would imagine a week in hospital would be completely dull (and if that ends up happening I would get people to visit the hospital) but the same week at home, with OH and everything else I'm used to I don't think would be dull.

Husband talked to his mum yesterday. He said they are welcome to come visit but not for a couple of weeks until we get into some sort of routine, alternatively they can come earlier and stay in a hotel or airbnb and just come to ours for a couple of hours. I'll tell my parents the same and then it's their choice.

barbiedoll

Pop_Up_Pirate wrote: »

Midwife called in a morning for 20 minutes, which was extremely dull. "how are you?" "how is baby?" "how is breast feeding?" "I need to weigh it" "No you don't. She's sleeping and she's fine"

How exciting!

Lol! Of course they need to weigh "it"...in case feeding isn't going well. You'd be surprised at how many new parents think that feeding a baby once every 4 hours for 10 mins is absolutely fine.....a midwife goes round and weighs it and it's lost 16% of birthweight. And sleepy babies can be sleepy due to jaundice, they don't feed properly and get weaker and weaker, therefore they sleep more.

It might be dull to you, but midwives can pick up serious problems before they become potentially life-threatening. Sepsis, jaundice, feeding problems, wound infections and even PPH's. Women and babies are sent home very early from hospital, and I can tell you from personal experience, if it wasn't for "dull" midwife visits, a few of those wouldn't be here now to tell the tale!

KateBob

barbiedoll wrote: »

Lol! Of course they need to weigh "it"...in case feeding isn't going well. You'd be surprised at how many new parents think that feeding a baby once every 4 hours for 10 mins is absolutely fine.....a midwife goes round and weighs it and it's lost 16% of birthweight. And sleepy babies can be sleepy due to jaundice, they don't feed properly and get weaker and weaker, therefore they sleep more.

It might be dull to you, but midwives can pick up serious problems before they become potentially life-threatening. Sepsis, jaundice, feeding problems, wound infections and even PPH's. Women and babies are sent home very early from hospital, and I can tell you from personal experience, if it wasn't for "dull" midwife visits, a few of those wouldn't be here now to tell the tale!

Funnily enough both of mine only fed for 10 mins a time every 3-4 hours and both stayed on the 91st centile, my mum said i was producing gold top!

I had to stay in for a week after both births, first time because of an emcs and hemorrhage and second time because of a blood incompatibility during pregnancy. It is dull and boring, and hot and uncomfortable but absolutely necessary.

After i got home following my first i developed an infection that was picked up by the health visitor.

sulphate

Pop_Up_Pirate wrote: »

Newborn baby does nothing but sleep sleep sleep. Occasionally, they might make an appearance to have dinner.
My first baby slept solid for 40 hours.

I suppose those people who can't leave baby alone, and insist on waking it up every couple of hours to feed, change or bathe it might find it chaotic. I'm sure baby does too.

Midwife called in a morning for 20 minutes, which was extremely dull. "how are you?" "how is baby?" "how is breast feeding?" "I need to weigh it" "No you don't. She's sleeping and she's fine"

How exciting!

Mmm, things have changed now though and 2 years ago when my son was born the advice was to wake the sleepy baby every 2-4 hours to feed (exact intervals determined by whether you were breast or formula feeding). Going long intervals without feeding puts newborn babies at risk from dehydration and losing too much weight.

Aced2016

I couldn't think of anything worse than having a lodger live with myself and husband !

Will you not feel uncomfortable coming out of hospital with a new baby, with the lodger being there ? I wouldn't feel I could go around the house and get up and make bottles etc this would stress me out way more than parents coming to visit !

Perhaps it's just me aside from the money aspect, I really just don't get the lodger aspect I could never ever do it.

That aside I think your building it up to be worse than it is. But I would go with a premier inn if booked just now they'll get it a little cheaper. The first two weeks of a newborn are actually very easy, the basically sleep non stop ! It's after the 14 days the work really begins ! So it's actually maybe best getting it over and done with in the first two weeks.

cyantist

With previous lodgers or housemates I'd never have even considered it. I know I complained about her, and I do think she needs to sometimes think more before she speaks, but there's certainly positives to having her here.

I always go around the house doing exactly what I want, I'm not sure why a lodger would stop anyone doing that but I guess it's all to do with individual attitudes and what people are used to and comfortable with.

Regarding booking somewhere for people to stay now, the baby could come today or could come in 3 weeks so we can't book that much in advance at all which makes it a lot more expensive.

Beckyy

I would try and hold off visitors so you can to bond, establish feeding and get to know each other. Especially if family are seeming like they won't be considerate.

Tell them you'll let them know when baby arrives and arrange something then. If they don't like it then tough - your baby, your choice. Be firm and ask them to respect your wishes.