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He is not banned from driving. He is American and has lived here for 20 years (naturalised Brit now), but his US licence expired a few years ago. Nevertheless, you can only drive a few years on a foreign licence apparently, and time was up on that a long time ago. He has a provisional licence, and he says he misses driving and wants to be able to again, but he won't crack on with getting his licence. He says he is nervous about the theory, and I've offered to help him study many many times, but whenever I ask him about, it descends into an argument
We both work full time.
Regarding the cooking. Yes I could leave it, but I don't want to live like that, because then his idea is to get a takeaway, which is expensive and unhealthy.
The British theory test is on a par with the Californian one - both very simple. The practical test is much harder though - my California test lasted 10 minutes, I only went round the block and didn't go above about 35 mph! I bet the real problem is that he only drove automatic cars as few Americans drive manual ones. He could always take an automatic only test.
BTW he would only have been entitled to drive on his American license for a year following his arrival in the UK.0 -
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Stop giving him lifts.
You say you don't want a separate life to him but you don't want what he is offering. Either change what you're doing or accept him as he is.0 -
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I would start doing your fair share of the chores, and no extra. Drop enough of the bits that you can so that you reach a more fair distribution.
Don't do his washing. Don't drive him anywhere you're not going anyway (and take a taxi when you're going for a drink). It would be rather harsh to cook for yourself only and not for him too, so perhaps stop taking his preferences into account - cook what you feel like eating, and on your timetable.Mortgage when started: £330,995
“Two possibilities exist: either we are alone in the Universe or we are not. Both are equally terrifying.” Arthur C. Clarke0 -
The problem is, if he sees a problem that needs to be solved, he'll throw money at it, without being resourceful. We already have a cleaner. But if I don't cook, he'll order a takeaway for us, and then charge me for half of it when we tally up how much we owe each other at the end of every month. If he can't drive, he'll just pay for a taxi if he absolutely needs to be somewhere without me.
Doing my own cooking and preparing my own meals, not really an option. I don't want to live a separate life from him.
:eek::eek:
Well that's a novel way of doing things!0 -
The problem is, if he sees a problem that needs to be solved, he'll throw money at it, without being resourceful. We already have a cleaner. But if I don't cook, he'll order a takeaway for us, and then charge me for half of it when we tally up how much we owe each other at the end of every month. If he can't drive, he'll just pay for a taxi if he absolutely needs to be somewhere without me.
Doing my own cooking and preparing my own meals, not really an option. I don't want to live a separate life from him.
In that case you should offset the cost of the ingredients you use when cooking for him!Mortgage when started: £330,995
“Two possibilities exist: either we are alone in the Universe or we are not. Both are equally terrifying.” Arthur C. Clarke0 -
We both work full time. I like to keep fit and go to the gym after work, so I generally get home later.
This is slightly different to you coming straight home from work and still getting there later. He chooses to watch TV, you choose the gym, they're both leisure activities. It does sound like you need a conversation about sharing things out equally though; [STRIKE]you might want to suggest paying out for some help around the home? [/STRIKE] apparently I type too slowly!
With the driving thing. I don't have a partner so it's different, but I don't drive and I absolutely don't expect anyone to go out of their way for me. I wouldn't expect it of a partner. I only ever get lifts from folk who are going to or from the same place anyway, often only in 1 direction as it isn't convenient for them to pick me up (timings with city centre traffic rather than the route). I'm always prepared to get myself home via public transport or a taxi! There are definitely ways around it, but it does require thought.0 -
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