This would be funny if I wasn't so upset. Don't know what to think

MXW

justme111 wrote: »

It is absolutely not a problem.
It is only relevant from the point of view that it was not 20 years of marriage that he dumped over the phone.

Agreed but we were together before this, and he ended the relationship over the phone, with no explanation...And there was no argument that time . When he came back into my life he promised me he had changed, and that it was just because he had been on his own a long time. And now he's done it again. I think the least he could do is tell me face to face. He is 57, not 17. I suspect that when he had chance to calm down he will reflect on this. He has come back to me twice now. This is just more than me having a blip, this goes deeper.

getmore4less

MXW wrote: »

Agreed but we were together before this, and he ended the relationship over the phone, with no explanation...And there was no argument that time . When he came back into my life he promised me he had changed, and that it was just because he had been on his own a long time. And now he's done it again. I think the least he could do is tell me face to face. He is 57, not 17. I suspect that when he had chance to calm down he will reflect on this. He has come back to me twice now. This is just more than me having a blip, this goes deeper.

I suspect you may not have changed.

I have had a look at the previous post since you banged on about the birthdays so much, so we have the threads about the reunion, then the 2 internet dates that caused issues in the in between time.

Go back and re read your own threads.


you claimed more than once you are the sort that moves on and forgets the evidence says otherwise you just don't let things go.


I suspect that the b'day thing was brought on by a feeling of obligation(real or not it was there) to turn up and on that 5hr drive he had an epiphany what the hell am I doing.

I have gone over the post and this current fling started in late Sept you only meet once a week and he travels with work so not every week.

How many time have you met in the 5 months 15-20 time and never a sleepover never a breakfast this holiday would have been the first time?

Then you go and throw a tantrum

Also see you are still dodging the did he ever come round yours and did you mix with your friends.

I think you are probably getting well ahead of yourself with these encounters and reading what type of relationship they are and where they are going.

How old's your youngest now 16? don't for a moment think they don't know mummy is getting laid.

Did you even bother to shower when you left?

edit:
Another way to describe this would be long distance relationship without the distance.

MXW

getmore4less wrote: »

I suspect you may not have changed.

I have had a look at the previous post since you banged on about the birthdays so much, so we have the threads about the reunion, then the 2 internet dates that caused issues in the in between time.

Go back and re read your own threads.


you claimed more than once you are the sort that moves on and forgets the evidence says otherwise you just don't let things go.


I suspect that the b'day thing was brought on by a feeling of obligation(real or not it was there) to turn up and on that 5hr drive he had an epiphany what the hell am I doing.

I have gone over the post and this current fling started in late Sept you only meet once a week and he travels with work so not every week.

How many time have you met in the 5 months 15-20 time and never a sleepover never a breakfast this holiday would have been the first time?

Then you go and throw a tantrum

Also see you are still dodging the did he ever come round yours and did you mix with your friends.

I think you are probably getting well ahead of yourself with these encounters and reading what type of relationship they are and where they are going.

How old's your youngest now 16? don't for a moment think they don't know mummy is getting laid.

Did you even bother to shower when you left?

edit:
Another way to describe this would be long distance relationship without the distance.

Did you even bother to shower when you left???????

Lol! And you expect me to take advice from someone who makes a crass comment like that?

For the record, whatever we did or didn't do, suited us both. Every relationship is different. Don't forget he had let me down before, as much as I cared about him, I wanted to know in my heart that he wasn't going to do this again, before I got my kids involved. My kids have been through a lot, I've always put them first, and until they are independent of me, always will. So shoot me!

And as it happens, he did do it again, so I saved my kids the upset of getting to know someone and then telling them he's no longer around.

justme111

MXW wrote: »

Agreed but we were together before this, and he ended the relationship over the phone, with no explanation...And there was no argument that time . When he came back into my life he promised me he had changed, and that it was just because he had been on his own a long time. And now he's done it again. I think the least he could do is tell me face to face. He is 57, not 17. I suspect that when he had chance to calm down he will reflect on this. He has come back to me twice now. This is just more than me having a blip, this goes deeper.

Sorry I am not sure how his promise he has changed relates to him ending relationship on the phone. You mean he promised you he is not going to end relationship on the phone again ? Or he said that ending relationship over the phone was not an appropriate way to do it ?

Pollycat

MXW wrote: »

Agreed but we were together before this, and he ended the relationship over the phone, with no explanation...And there was no argument that time . When he came back into my life he promised me he had changed, and that it was just because he had been on his own a long time. And now he's done it again. I think the least he could do is tell me face to face. He is 57, not 17. I suspect that when he had chance to calm down he will reflect on this. He has come back to me twice now. This is just more than me having a blip, this goes deeper.

I don't think he wants to face you.

I think you'd be like a dog with a bone (even though you've poo-pooed that suggestion that I made earlier).

Maybe he thinks that ending a relationship over the phone is an acceptable thing to do.

MXW

Pollycat wrote: »

I don't think he wants to face you.

I think you'd be like a dog with a bone (even though you've poo-pooed that suggestion that I made earlier).

Maybe he thinks that ending a relationship over the phone is an acceptable thing to do.

I agree, I don't think he wants to face me.

But I also don't think that he thinks I wouldn't let it go. I ended the conversation when he ended the relationship, and told him that I wasn't about to try and change his mind, and the fact that he had done this twice now, I wouldn't want him back (that's not to say I wasn't upset). I gave no indication on the phone how upset I was, and just spoke to him in the same tone he spoke to me in. I have made no contact with him since, apart from asking him to sort out the money and my belongings, and that was a very polite business like text. He had already told me that he was sorting it out today, there was no need for him to contact me again last night to tell me again.

justme111

The crux of the matter you for some reason want to see him (I suspect to demonstrate how well you handle things) and he does not want to see you as it is easier for him - after all none of us would be looking forwards to see someone we just broke up with. Interesting that you don't realise your desires do not have to trample his.

MXW

justme111 wrote: »

The crux of the matter you for some reason want to see him (I suspect to demonstrate how well you handle things) and he does not want to see you as it is easier for him - after all none of us would be looking forwards to see someone we just broke up with. Interesting that you don't realise your desires do not have to trample his.

I want to see him? So why haven't I suggested that he brings the things to my house to make it easier for him? On the contrary, I haven't responded to any of his texts.

Now you know what I'm thinking? What's more interesting is that you don't know me at all, but know what I want.

The truth is, whether I handled it well or fell to pieces, you would still critise me, whichever way I handled it. I

justme111

I am not criticising
I am questioning and giving opinion . When someone is in the situation one does not like and wondering why did it happen the way it had one asks on the forum and then people give opinions. If someone is in the situation one does not like then by default they done something which contributed to it and doing more of the same is not going to get any different results. So the only way to a better life is to question one's attitude and behaviour.

What you write is contradictory, and it is obvious you are in pieces. No shame in it and may become easier if you acknowledge it.
I will bow off this thread for now as you would have benefitted more from a hug then from analysis and questioning at the moment, sorry I got my timing wrong

MXW

justme111 wrote: »

I am not criticising
I am questioning and giving opinion . When someone is in the situation one does not like and wondering why did it happen the way it had one asks on the forum and then people give opinions. If someone is in the situation one does not like then by default they done something which contributed to it and doing more of the same is not going to get any different results. So the only way to a better life is to question one's attitude and behaviour.

What you write is contradictory, and it is obvious you are in pieces. No shame in it and may become easier if you acknowledge it.
I will bow off this thread for now as you would have benefitted more from a hug then from analysis and questioning at the moment, sorry I got my timing wrong

I don't think I have been contradictory at all, I have very openly acknowledged that I am upset....That was in the title of my post. It is you who is like a dog with a bone (as you accused me). If I'm upset, then I should get over it because it was me that caused it.....If I pull myself together and try and handle it well (despite my upset), then I am trying to prove a point? I think you are right that it's time for you to bow out.