This would be funny if I wasn't so upset. Don't know what to think

Primrose

Well in that case, in many ways, had your relationship survived, you would have been taking on a third child in terms of the emotional support yiu would have needed to provide. While every couple expects to have a few see-saw incidents in their relationship where one partner needs extra support at a difficult time , this does rather sound as if if his end of the see-saw would be permanently out of kilter. I suspect that after a while this would have become emotionally exhausting to deal with.

Just be grateful for the good times and a little relieved that you've been saved from disillusion further down the road.

MXW

He text me last night saying he was "sending" me my money, and my things some time today. I'm not sure what he means by sending them.....But he hasn't had the decency to come to my house and give them to me.

justme111

Why would coming to your house be any more decent than sending them to you ?

MXW

justme111 wrote: »

Why would coming to your house be any more decent than sending them to you ?

Because we are both adults....He ended the relationship by phone, and didn't have the balls to tell me face to face. Now he can't even face me to give me my belongings, and is going to the trouble and expense of posting them (I assume), when he lives a 10 min drive away.

Pollycat

MXW wrote: »

Because we are both adults....He ended the relationship by phone, and didn't have the balls to tell me face to face. Now he can't even face me to give me my belongings, and is going to the trouble and expense of posting them (I assume), when he lives a 10 min drive away.

It could be that he thinks if he sees you face to face you won't let it go and will keep on and on trying to understand what went wrong by dissecting every second of what happened the last time you met when all he wants is to be out of the relationship and all ties with you severed?

Whatever the reason, he's returning your money and your things.

I really don't think you're going to get any answers from him.

MXW

Pollycat wrote: »

It could be that he thinks if he sees you face to face you won't let it go and will keep on and on trying to understand what went wrong by dissecting every second of what happened the last time you met when all he wants is to be out of the relationship and all ties with you severed?

Whatever the reason, he's returning your money and your things.

I really don't think you're going to get any answers from him.

I don't think he thinks that. I accepted the end of the relationship over the phone, without pleading, asking him to reconsider or any of those things. It was me that ended the phone call. If he came to the house he knows I wouldn't get into it as my son would be there.

So to some up, after spending nothing but lovely times together, he ends the relationship by phone, and posts my belongings and money. I think that tells me a great deal....Mainly that I shouldn't have let him into my life for a second time.

Pollycat

MXW wrote: »

I don't think he thinks that. I accepted the end of the relationship over the phone, without pleading, asking him to reconsider or any of those things. It was me that ended the phone call. If he came to the house he knows I wouldn't get into it as my son would be there.

So to some up, after spending nothing but lovely times together, he ends the relationship by phone, and posts my belongings and money. I think that tells me a great deal....Mainly that I shouldn't have let him into my life for a second time.

Then I've no idea why he ended the relationship the way he did.

Pondering on it isn't going to get you anywhere so, hard as it is, let it go.

justme111

He may follow a textbook different from yours in which it is ok to end the relationships (specially relationships of a few months where the woman did not stay at his due to her children and could it be he has not stayed at hers?) over the phone/text/letter/email. Why do you think your way is decent and other's is not ?

MXW

justme111 wrote: »

He may follow a textbook different from yours in which it is ok to end the relationships (specially relationships of a few months where the woman did not stay at his due to her children and could it be he has not stayed at hers?) over the phone/text/letter/email. Why do you think your way is decent and other's is not ?

As far as the staying over is concerned, it suited us both. Why is that a problem?

justme111

It is absolutely not a problem.
It is only relevant from the point of view that it was not 20 years of marriage that he dumped over the phone.