Feeling pretty desperate

Art_Deco

picklekin wrote: »

Hi all,

Some may remember me from my journey to try to have a baby of my own. I have since (5 months ago approx) adopted a little girl who is now about a year and a half.

I'm currently staying home to look after her and feel I'm falling so badly. Everyone who sees her says what a happy little child she is, but she rarely seems to be when it's just us. She seems to want everything she can't have, her toys are untouched. You put a cup of coffee down for one second and she makes a bee line. She cries all the time as I can't let her have these things. I've made the house as safe as possible, but seems she always finds SOMETHING she shouldn't have. She throws the food I make on the floor. I feel like I'm getting to breaking point.

I've called family and just get the laughing response of "well that's children for you" (followed by endless anicdotes of things their children do or I did when I was a child) I've called the doctor (when I can get through) and he's put me on some antidepressants which don't seem to really work (I couldn't get through again last week and had to just put in a repeat request hoping he'd call me but he just filled the prescription). I've tried making friends through groups to talk to, but they already HAVE friends, ones they went through anti natal groups etc with). People are polite, but no one I can open up to.

I just feel so alone and so lost, I'm worried I'm doing everything wrong. I even shouted a bit at her earlier for crying....

I'm sorry if this comes out as a wall of text, I'm typing on my phone as I can't leave her to get to my PC.

Bless you, Sometimes when youve longed for something and its not turned out quite how you imagined you can feel guilt like youve failed, but you really havent. Most kids have tantrums, refuse to eat, play up for their parents, they do grow out of it eventually. You sound a bit lonely are you planning on returning to work,sometimes you just need adult company, try all measures before the anti depressants.Good luck.:)

Mojisola

Loz01 wrote: »

I have precisely 0 kids so feel free to ignore me BUT... you say she hates eating lunch and screams etc. Why not saying to her "guess WHAT? We're going to sit on the floor on the blanket and have a PICNIC!" and use plastic bowls and cups and put fruit/cucumber etc in bowls and some sandwiches and juice...

Hopefully someone with kids won't come along and tell me this would be rewarding her for bad behaviour i just thought it would turn something stressful into fun and she might associate lunch time more positively

It isn't rewarding bad behaviour if you get the diversion in first.

Distraction can be a great way to deal with otherwise frustrating situations. wapow's idea of breaking out into a little dance instead of reacting to unwanted behaviour or bursting into song instead of shouting can work brilliantly.