Feeling pretty desperate

Proxima_Centauri

The problem seems to be that you're on your own during the day. Can the baby's father help out at all? It's easy to get overwhelmed if you're stuck indoors every day with just a toddler for company, especially if you're a first-time parent.

comeandgo

I'm going to give you advice on your antidepressants. It can take up to six weeks before you notice any difference so please give them a chance. My daughter is finding motherhood a bit isolating after a very busy active working career and she is joining baby massage, baby signing, baby swimming, baby library. Anything to get out the house and be with people. Are there any groups you can join? Even a mother and toddler group.
Can you place her in any nursery or with a childminder for a few hours a week. They will be able to tell you if she is any different from other children.
Are you getting enough sleep? Again, sleep deprivation can make everything seem bleek.

whitewing

I think you will probably find other adopters (and other parents) can have similar feelings and that helps to know:

http://www.nhs.uk/Livewell/adoption-and-fostering/Pages/post-adoption-support.aspx

Scroll down through and there are some charities who may be worth speaking to.

May also be worth speaking to the health visitor.

Children do model the adults around them, so they do want to touch and pick up things they see us doing. Doesn't make it easy though.

Plus I can't remember the last time I was in the bathroom and didn't get a visit from a small child about some trivial matter.

Primrose

I wonder whether the Adoption Society and the agencies you dealt with would have any medical information which might enlighten you. This may be normal child behaviour at that age,(I'm not an expert) but I wonder whether there is anything in your daughter's earlier medical history that could be triggering this behaviour. I was thinking in terms of possible drug abuse by the birth mother. The last thing I want to do is put further and probably unnecessary worries into your head but perhaps worth eliminating if you can possibly do so.


I'm sure this is probably just a phase she's going through but this doesn't make it any easier to deal with. Are there any organisations in your local area supporting mothers your surgery could refer you to to so that you don't feel so alone in dealing with this issue?

jackieblack

Proxima_Centauri wrote: »

Can the baby's father help out at all?

The OP has adopted the child

Mojisola

jackieblack wrote: »

The OP has adopted the child

I understood that picklekin and her husband have adopted the child.

jackieblack

Mojisola wrote: »

I understood that picklekin and her husband have adopted the child.

Ahh, sorry
Hadn't realised that from the opening post.
TBH it read like she was a single parent ('I have adopted', not 'we have adopted')

Ronaldo_Mconaldo

The OP adopted a baby on their own? Can you even do that in the UK?

Cinny91

It really sounds like what you need is a mum squad! Are you by any chance in South Yorkshire? I'm part of a county-wide mums group I'd be more than happy to send you details of.

But you are by no means failing your daughter. My niece sounds around the same age as your LO and is currently pushing her boundaries in the same manner, my SIL is feeling at the end of her rope too! You're not alone in this but it really sounds like you need a support system outside of the home. Someone you can hit up a soft play with, or someone you can just message to say "my face feels like it's falling off" at 3am.

Message me if you want to talk. No mother should ever be going through a rough patch alone :heart2:

Proxima_Centauri

Ronaldo_Mconaldo wrote: »

The OP adopted a baby on their own? Can you even do that in the UK?

That's what I was wondering, when people suggested she's adopted the baby on her own!