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People thinking that you think that you are better than them

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  • justme111
    justme111 Posts: 3,508 Forumite
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    Dear Andrew, please don't be offended -
    don't you see irony in a statement "but you are wrong, I am not arrogant"?
    The word "dilemma" comes from Greek where "di" means two and "lemma" means premise. Refers usually to difficult choice between two undesirable options.
    Often people seem to use this word mistakenly where "quandary" would fit better.
  • Lily-Rose_3
    Lily-Rose_3 Posts: 2,732 Forumite
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    wishus wrote: »
    This is interesting. 'Direct' is a positive 'blue' personality trait, if you've ever done one of those Dynamic personality tests. The downside is that Red types may overthink the reason for directness and perceive it as a slight, but none was meant at all.

    There's a verrrry fine line between being 'direct' and being rude.

    Most people are just rude, but think they're being direct, and think them 'saying it like it is is' a positive trait; it isn't. All that ensues most of the time is someone getting offended and upset. I have also found (over the years,) that people like this who are outspoken and opinionated, don't like it when it's done back to them.
    Proud to have lost over 3 stone (45 pounds,) in the past year! :j Now a size 14!


    You're not singing anymore........ You're not singing any-more! :D
  • Robisere
    Robisere Posts: 3,237 Forumite
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    Attitudes like that are one big reason why we moved away from the county and village of my birth. I still get horrible remarks from certain family members on FB, but I just blocked those members every time another one did it. One was dumb enough to comment upon a photo of the beautiful roses I grew around the front of my bungalow - "Oh we have a bungalow now, do we?" I replied with "Yes it's Sheltered Housing with a Housing Association. Just like yours, but in a beautiful village, not a slag heap. Now I am blocking you, goodbye."

    2 of that person's sisters immediately apologised for their sibling. Indifference is the best response to jealousy, especially if the other party knows you are indifferent to their perceived mistaken impression of your life. And if they cannot find a way to publicly attack you, it annoys the krap out of them.
    I think this job really needs
    a much bigger hammer.
  • Fireflyaway
    Fireflyaway Posts: 2,766 Forumite
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    Having read all the comments made me realise that without actually seeing you in person its impossible to know if you are a bit arrogant.I still think your family sound jealous, but your tone of voice, how you listen or not, whether you inadvertently mention the cost of things etc could lead people to make assumptions.
  • Person_one
    Person_one Posts: 28,884 Forumite
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    Robisere wrote: »
    Attitudes like that are one big reason why we moved away from the county and village of my birth. I still get horrible remarks from certain family members on FB, but I just blocked those members every time another one did it. One was dumb enough to comment upon a photo of the beautiful roses I grew around the front of my bungalow - "Oh we have a bungalow now, do we?" I replied with "Yes it's Sheltered Housing with a Housing Association. Just like yours, but in a beautiful village, not a slag heap. Now I am blocking you, goodbye."

    2 of that person's sisters immediately apologised for their sibling. Indifference is the best response to jealousy, especially if the other party knows you are indifferent to their perceived mistaken impression of your life. And if they cannot find a way to publicly attack you, it annoys the krap out of them.

    Have you ever seen 'I'm Alan Partridge'?
  • Lily-Rose_3
    Lily-Rose_3 Posts: 2,732 Forumite
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    Person_one wrote: »
    Have you ever seen 'I'm Alan Partridge'?

    1ec6fb5195f1fea8d57438316b79192d.jpg


    :D LOVE HIM!
    Proud to have lost over 3 stone (45 pounds,) in the past year! :j Now a size 14!


    You're not singing anymore........ You're not singing any-more! :D
  • getmore4less
    getmore4less Posts: 46,882 Forumite
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    I have seen a few of your post in various places,
    That happens when you pick a name like you have.

    Taking them on face value(ie not a troll that some think) and putting them together I think the title of this threads sums it up for this issue.

    Because you think they think you think you are better then them you do think you are better.


    I think you may have been projecting to cover up your unhappiness.
  • Person_one
    Person_one Posts: 28,884 Forumite
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    Lily-Rose wrote: »
    1ec6fb5195f1fea8d57438316b79192d.jpg


    :D LOVE HIM!

    "Needless to say, I had the last laugh."
  • Pollycat
    Pollycat Posts: 34,868 Forumite
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    Because you think they think you think you are better then them you do think you are better.
    I get what you mean - I think. ;)
  • svain
    svain Posts: 516 Forumite
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    edited 4 February 2017 at 3:51PM
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    Strange one this.

    Part of me feels it's a jealousy thing for the family ..... If this is the case then i doubt this is anything new and im guessing sub consciously you may be aware of this and looked to provoke. If the reaction is genuine and they have a point, tgen perhaps just tone it down a bit on future visits. Modesty is under rated quality in someone.

    Other part of me thinks the OP fancies himself as better than others? something special (success wise) and just isn't. If using material items as a barometer of success or wealth then a £19k car and £200 watch is hardly aiming high ( average at best ). The family see this and won't tolerate the fantasy/BS.

    As for splitting meal costs. If you agree to eat out as a group then be prepared to split the bill. Nothing more embarrassing than watching a bill being itemised whilst sitting at the table. If it irks you to do this then request a separate bill at the start and be prepared not be asked out again. If you can't afford it, then stay at home. If someone offers to pay the bill (this is different to feeling obligated to) then be gracious, accept the offer and make sure you pay the full bill next time.
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