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Am I being over sensitive

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  • svain
    svain Posts: 516 Forumite
    Eighth Anniversary 500 Posts
    edited 31 January 2017 at 7:27PM
    Cant believe people are suggesting that !!!!!! is a male issue - what planet are folk living on??

    Cant believe OP reacted this way ... "im not smiling though" ... sounds like something a mother would say to her son.

    Personally i think the guy is the one that needs to take stock of this situation and think seriously as to whether he wants to move forward with the relationship. To be judged on what is a very popular passtime, completely normal and therefore trivial would suggest the OP is quite naive and dramatic. Would make me wonder how she will react when a proper relationship problem arises
  • Guest101
    Guest101 Posts: 15,764 Forumite
    I think there's a huge difference between watching !!!!!! and watching soaps as someone suggested. You need to speak to him about this and expalin why you felt betrayed knowing he watches it. If he is going to continue then you have to decide if this is something you can accept in your relationship.

    In what way?

    Obviously I don't think so, so I am asking for your perspective
  • Person_one
    Person_one Posts: 28,884 Forumite
    Tenth Anniversary 10,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    Something must have led him to believe you weren't calm?
    People don't tend to say that without reason.
    Maybe chill.
    I don't see any harm in men watching !!!!!! at all, i'd even go as far to say that watching together "may" be good for a relationship.

    More likely he wants to avoid the awkward conversation for a bit.
  • justme111
    justme111 Posts: 3,531 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    If I was him I would seriously thought about moving in with you. Controlling, disrespectful, passive agressive behaviour of someone with issues.
    The word "dilemma" comes from Greek where "di" means two and "lemma" means premise. Refers usually to difficult choice between two undesirable options.
    Often people seem to use this word mistakenly where "quandary" would fit better.
  • candygirl
    candygirl Posts: 29,455 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper Photogenic
    Guest101 wrote: »
    1: I didn't see any reference to 'his mums' - not that it matters, it sounded more like he was respecting her feelings.
    2: There's also the element of personal choice and opening the floodgates. here's a couple of examples.


    Hypothetically the OP watches soaps (nice little stereotype there) and he doesn't like it, would that be reasonable?


    The OP listens to a certain band or type of music and he doesn't like it?


    The OP dresses a certain way?




    Relationships are about compromises, if the OP makes a big deal about this (but presumably wants the relationship to continue) what changes will she make?
    omg I don't know why I put his Mum's, instead of his house :rotfl::rotfl:
    Totally agree about compromise, but it seems odd that he is hiding this side of himself to me :(
    "You can't stop the waves, but you can learn to surf"

    (Kabat-Zinn 2004):D:D:D
  • Torry_Quine
    Torry_Quine Posts: 18,872 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Photogenic Name Dropper
    Guest101 wrote: »
    In what way?

    Obviously I don't think so, so I am asking for your perspective

    Pornography is about how someone sees people in a sexual way, not the same at all
    Lost my soulmate so life is empty.

    I can bear pain myself, he said softly, but I couldna bear yours. That would take more strength than I have -
    Diana Gabaldon, Outlander
  • Guest101
    Guest101 Posts: 15,764 Forumite
    edited 31 January 2017 at 8:57PM
    Pornography is about how someone sees people in a sexual way, not the same at all

    Really? I mean if that's how you see it fair enough.

    Soaps are filled with good looking men and women, television depicts sex all the time.

    Saying it's not the same doesn't really mean anything.

    Leaving that aside for a minute, he may feel that soaps are 'wrong' - what then?
  • justme111
    justme111 Posts: 3,531 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    Not people. Pictures on the screen. By your logic soaps are about how one is involved in other's relationships - why do you think it is right to see couple argue but not have sexon screen? Because you take as an offence whenever any sexual thoughts are in your man's head if they are not related to you? What is next then - ban on fantasies during masturbation? Ban on masturbation?- as if he achieves sexyal satisfaction without her that must be unacceptable . Or is it acceptable? If so - what is a difference between watching !!!!!! and masturbating?
    The word "dilemma" comes from Greek where "di" means two and "lemma" means premise. Refers usually to difficult choice between two undesirable options.
    Often people seem to use this word mistakenly where "quandary" would fit better.
  • Torry_Quine
    Torry_Quine Posts: 18,872 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Photogenic Name Dropper
    Guest101 wrote: »
    Really? I mean if that's how you see it fair enough.

    Soaps are filled with good looking men and women, television depicts sex all the time.

    Saying it's not the same doesn't really mean anything.

    Leaving that aside for a minute, he may feel that soaps are 'wrong' - what then?
    Pornography though is putting forward an idealised and not obtainable view of sex.
    Then they would need to discuss it between them.
    Lost my soulmate so life is empty.

    I can bear pain myself, he said softly, but I couldna bear yours. That would take more strength than I have -
    Diana Gabaldon, Outlander
  • Guest101
    Guest101 Posts: 15,764 Forumite
    Pornography though is putting forward an idealised and not obtainable view of sex.
    Then they would need to discuss it between them.

    In what way? And if that's the case ( which I don't think it is), how does that harm their relationship?

    I don't think there's anything in pornography that a couple ( or more ) couldn't do at home.

    - I agree about the need to discuss it
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