Am I being over sensitive

McKneff

Probably a lot of women too!!!!

System

I had an ex that cheated on me, he did go online (and i accidentally discovered some questionable po*n sites), but i don;t automatically link po*n with cheatiing. I know my bf watches po*n, he;s open about it and i trust him. Its just standard stuff from what i gather. I know deep down he wouldn;t cheat on me.

So i think you may be slightly over sensitive about this, due to past issues that have hurt you deeply. It takes time to overcome those insecurities but i'd say unless you're absolutely against men using !!!!!! and its a deal breaker, and if he;s not given any other signs of cheating, maybe back down a little.

Bogalot

anna_1977 wrote: »

Thanks, it's certainly something we need to discuss.

I hope you don't expect him to stop looking at !!!!!!. He's not doing anything wrong.

He's not cheating. !!!!!! and cheating are completely different things.

Have you thought about counselling? You're judging him on your past experiences, it sounds like you could do with working through these bad memories.

Bogalot

xXMessedUpXx wrote: »

I had an ex that cheated on me, he did go online (and i accidentally discovered some questionable po*n sites), but i don;t automatically link po*n with cheatiing. I know my bf watches po*n, he;s open about it and i trust him. Its just standard stuff from what i gather. I know deep down he wouldn;t cheat on me.

So i think you may be slightly over sensitive about this, due to past issues that have hurt you deeply. It takes time to overcome those insecurities but i'd say unless you're absolutely against men using !!!!!! and its a deal breaker, and if he;s not given any other signs of cheating, maybe back down a little.

!!!!!!.

It's not a swear word!

candygirl

It doesn't matter whether anyone else thinks it right or wrong.If it makes you feel uneasy, and insecure about the relationship, whereas he thinks it's fine, then you need to have a serious chat with him!
It seems a bit immature of him, to be hiding at his Mum's, until you calm down though

Lioness_Twinkletoes

Bogalot wrote: »

!!!!!!.

It's not a swear word!

I was going to ask why so many felt the need to hide the word !!!!!!. Odd behaviour.

OP, personally I think you're overreacting but if it makes you sad that your boyfriend likes to get his rocks off while watching pornography then you need to discuss it with him. Not us.

Guest101

candygirl wrote: »

It doesn't matter whether anyone else thinks it right or wrong.If it makes you feel uneasy, and insecure about the relationship, whereas he thinks it's fine, then you need to have a serious chat with him!
It seems a bit immature of him, to be hiding at his Mum's, until you calm down though

1: I didn't see any reference to 'his mums' - not that it matters, it sounded more like he was respecting her feelings.
2: There's also the element of personal choice and opening the floodgates. here's a couple of examples.


Hypothetically the OP watches soaps (nice little stereotype there) and he doesn't like it, would that be reasonable?


The OP listens to a certain band or type of music and he doesn't like it?


The OP dresses a certain way?


Relationships are about compromises, if the OP makes a big deal about this (but presumably wants the relationship to continue) what changes will she make?

Torry_Quine

I think there's a huge difference between watching !!!!!! and watching soaps as someone suggested. You need to speak to him about this and expalin why you felt betrayed knowing he watches it. If he is going to continue then you have to decide if this is something you can accept in your relationship.

FBaby

Thanks, it's certainly something we need to discuss.

Discuss what? You treaded on his privacy, albeit unintentionally, but that doesn't mean there is a 'problem' on his part. The only problem is that you are putting 2 and 2 together and making it 5.

You can have a discussion about your insecurities, but don't make that he is the one with a problem. He doesn't (as far as you know). He watches some !!!!!! and that his choice. If you don't like it, then put it at the back of your mind and respect his privacy.

FBaby

By the way, could he being annoyed the fact that you used is iPad and he felt he was being checked? You said you unlocked it, so assume you knew the code because he gave it to you, in which case, it was fair to think you were free to use but then again... I think my OH has my laptop password, maybe not, but even if he did, I would be annoyed if he used it without asking, purely because it is not in the norm to do so (same as he would always asked me if it was ok to use my car and vice versa).