Boyfriend is still communicating with his ex - just friends or more?

fairy_lights

This is going to sound ridiculously patronising, but you're too young and naïve for all this drama. You'd be much better off ending it now before it ends in tears and finding someone closer to your own age, who lives nearer to you, who has less history and who you can just have fun with.

onomatopoeia99

thorsoak wrote: »

When are you going to learn that a game is just that - a game. Life is real.

The fact of meeting through a game is largely irrelevant, it's still real people playing and real relationships forming between them, whether of friendship or romantic. Just because the start isn't while bladdered in a pub or club on a Friday night doesn't make the feelings of those involved any less real, and they should not be so dismissed.

emberlyn

fairy_lights wrote: »

This is going to sound ridiculously patronising, but you're too young and naïve for all this drama. You'd be much better off ending it now before it ends in tears and finding someone closer to your own age, who lives nearer to you, who has less history and who you can just have fun with.

It's fine, don't worry I'm not offended. You're right and I feel embarrassed I'm on here posting but I have no one to talk to about this in real life.

I know I could end it, I have considered it, but I worry I'll always think 'what if' about him. I can't seem to get rid of the hope that he does think of her as just a friend like he says. And I'd feel gutted if I ended it and they were just friends all along.

emberlyn

onomatopoeia99 wrote: »

The fact of meeting through a game is largely irrelevant, it's still real people playing and real relationships forming between them, whether of friendship or romantic. Just because the start isn't while bladdered in a pub or club on a Friday night doesn't make the feelings of those involved any less real, and they should not be so dismissed.

Thank you. I completely agree.

justme111

fairy_lights wrote: »

This is going to sound ridiculously patronising, but you're too young and naïve for all this drama. You'd be much better off ending it now before it ends in tears and finding someone closer to your own age, who lives nearer to you, who has less history and who you can just have fun with.

She is not ideal as none of us is. Something in her character made her not find someone younger locally but this older guy remotely. So not sure how much pointing out her deficiencies os going to help. She is who she is , she can not make herself into a different person, she lives her life with her lessons.

fairy_lights

justme111 wrote: »

She is not ideal as none of us is. Something in her character made her not find someone younger locally but this older guy remotely. So not sure how much pointing out her deficiencies os going to help. She is who she is , she can not make herself into a different person, she lives her life with her lessons.

I don't think saying she seems naïve is pointing out a deficiency? There's nothing wrong with being naïve when you're 18, I know I was.
Of course she can't make herself a different person, but she can choose whether to carry on in a seemingly hopeless relationship.

justme111

Op , it does not matter much whether you are going to stick wuth him for now or drop him as we do not know how either of tg8s options is going to affect your future. What I would urge you to do though is to look at your life apart from him - if one has nobody to talk to in the real life it means one is not in a good place and decisions taken from it are not going to be sound and that aspect is far more important than whether to keep relationship going or not. You actually handle replies on here very well in my opinion

pogofish

Looks like he won't !!!!!! or get off the pot. Which probably says all you need to know about his level of commitment to you.

You may have to ready yourself to make that hard decision for him.

justme111

fairy_lights wrote: »

I don't think saying she seems naïve is pointing out a deficiency? There's nothing wrong with being naïve when you're 18, I know I was.
Of course she can't make herself a different person, but she can choose whether to carry on in a seemingly hopeless relationship.

It was not that much aboit naive comment, it was about the commwnt she should have done better than that. The point is she did not. If all one has is a bit of wilted cabbage it is prescious to one. Telling them they should have had a 3 course meal instead is hurtful and not that helpful- they got what they managed to and in the abscence of any other food that cabbage is going to be held onto for dear life.

justme111

You can pm me , op. If you wanted to
Xx