Boyfriend is still communicating with his ex - just friends or more?

tea_lover

emberlyn wrote: »

I agree that comment was odd for him to say. That's the comment that bothered me the most and why I came on this forum again as it's been on my mind.

What do you think that comment to her might mean? Could he still have romantic feelings for her as that's what I've been worried about

Yes. Imo, without a doubt he still has feelings for her and if she showed anything more than friendship towards him he'd be back there like a shot. I'm sorry, I know that's not what you want to hear but I think you need to start listening to that little voice inside that's telling you to be careful here.

GBNI

emberlyn wrote: »

Can you explain more please?

I agree I feel uncomfortable but the hopeful side of me is thinking they are just friends, as there is no flirting or romantic messages between them. Just general chit chat.

The start of your post said he was texting his ex saying he missed her etc. If he respected you, he would not be sending his ex messages like that. Also, you 'came across' messages. Are you actively looking/hacking in to his accounts and finding them? I believe it's long distance so doubt you have access to his mobile. If you trusted him and felt happy you would not be going to these lengths.

tea_lover

Also, don't ever base a relationship on a text conversation that you weren't even part of. It's not reliable evidence!

There were plenty of texts over the last year of so of me telling my ex I never wanted to see him again, wished I'd never met him, was so much happier without him etc. There were also conversations later on after I caved and took him back (before coming to my senses again). Point is, you need more than a few texts from someone else to base a relationship on. Honestly? This isn't a relationship.... it's a crush for you, a nice break from reality for him.

Diary

He's simply hedging his bets as it were. Although he sounds much more keen on keeping her going than she does him, she seems to be just being polite to his persistent texts.

As you've been together such a very short time OP, you really need to reconsider your position with him. There are plenty of great guilds and different realms you could move to to avoid him altogther. You could even enjoy a relationship IRL...

KRB2725

This is not how the early days of a relationship should be spent. You are asking strangers to play mind readers because you're not comfortable in your relationship.

FWIW I do think he still has feelings for his ex but I am not a psychic, just a lot older than you with plenty of experience with unsuitable men.

Dump him & have some fun whilst you're still young.

justme111

I see. No idea about his feelings apart from him being fond of her (which is not a bad thing in itself). Feelings are not vegetables where you can sort onions from carrots. Feelings are such a topic that their owner is unawere of them often as they cloud our judgement. In any case there is a strong attachment so I would be on friends only basis with him while that attachment was in place. Plus low empathy and selfishness ( when someone tries to get over you you do not come up with remarks like "missing you " etc. So would not be for me, that behaviour would be a major turn off for me.

emberlyn

I do agree with you all, even though it's hard for me to admit it.

Part of me thinks of his feelings for her are deep enough he'd have asked her to meet up but because he hasn't it's giving me that hope his feelings for her aren't that strong.

thorsoak

emberlyn wrote: »

It's not as bad as it sounds. Yes we have put in 2000 hours into the game but there are 30 of us in the guild, so it's not just me he talked to. Him and I were completely platonic while he was still in his relationship with her. She even was in our guild too when they were a couple, but she stopped playing after a few weeks. So I guess I'm also confused why he would keep chatting to her about the game when he has me and 30 others to chat to about it.

When are you going to learn that a game is just that - a game. Life is real.

You and your "OH" are playing games. This is real life.

justme111

emberlyn wrote: »

I do agree with you all, even though it's hard for me to admit it.

Part of me thinks of his feelings for her are deep enough he'd have asked her to meet up but because he hasn't it's giving me that hope his feelings for her aren't that strong.

You right , they are not deep. Neither they are for you.

tea_lover

emberlyn wrote: »

I do agree with you all, even though it's hard for me to admit it.

Part of me thinks of his feelings for her are deep enough he'd have asked her to meet up but because he hasn't it's giving me that hope his feelings for her aren't that strong.

He hasn't shown you the messages where he's asked her to meet up - doesn't mean they don't exist.