Other thread opened my eyes

maryb

Hope everyone is well. It's been an emotional week. Hugs to Lessonlearned, hope the solicitor will be able to sort it out without too much grief. Litchielou, not long now till your retirement. Hoping it's everything you hoped for and you have a weight off your shoulders now that you see the way forward with your mother

lessonlearned

Update.

Solicitor informed me that when he broached the subject of her "making an offer" she flatly refused to discuss it with him. She told him she would make her offer after probate is completed (meaning course that she will have the money safely in the bank and her position will be un-assailable).

In the meantime she has invited me to join her scattering dad's ashes on the memorial garden and then out "for a bite to eat".

I think you can guess how I feel about that......

My sons and DIL have said they will accompany me so I don't have to go through it alone, even to the point of liaising with her over time and date etc. Bless their hearts.

At least that way I can do this one last final daughters duty and then I am done. They can be a buffer and do all the talking whilst I keep a low profile.

I have to confess that I never thought it would come to this, that my relationship with my sister could be so thoroughly destroyed.

Surprisingly though I can't say that I have really missed her. Life is peaceful and stress free at last.

Litchielou.......I bet you are counting the days. Not long now.

moneyistooshorttomention

LL - Don't fancy that thought of "having a bite to eat" in your position:(.

Still - as you say - let your family do the talking and keep the booze consumption low (so there's no "in vino veritas" incidents) and you should get through it "in one piece".

Take care.

monnagran

LL. Just one final act and you have more than fulfilled your duty. I don't envy you but I'm sure that you are doing the right thing, as you have done all along.

However hard it has been, and it has been awful for you, you have always done the right and brave thing. You may not appreciate it at the moment but in the future you will have peace of mind and a clear conscience, something that will almost certainly not be the case for your sister.

It has been a long and heart breaking journey for you, but look at where you are now. You have made it. With your lovely family around you, you will do this last thing and then all the unpleasantness will be over.

Whatever your sister pulls out of the hat now, she can't reach you, you have moved too far away from her.

Can you hear the distant sound of cheering? That's us.

x

lessonlearned

moneyistooshorttomention wrote: »

LL - Don't fancy that thought of "having a bite to eat" in your position:(.

Still - as you say - let your family do the talking and keep the booze consumption low (so there's no "in vino veritas" incidents) and you should get through it "in one piece".

Take care.

I will sit at the "far end" of the table.......:rotfl:

And give a masterclass in grace and charm.

Monnagran. You are right. Without being too smug I do feel that I can stand tall and proud and that I have "done the right thing".

All's well that ends well.

M.E.

A remarkably similar situation to mine! My sister refused to talk with the four of us, except through the solicitor (also the executor). It went to court. Funnily enough the solicitor got paid from the estate, which in effect wiped out the "excess" she considered to be hers alone. She hasn't spoken to me in 20 years..... and the peace of mind to me is overwhelming. I never thought in a million years that she was so jealous of me.
We had the same "ceremonial" scattering of ashes, next to Dad's ashes, three counties away from where we siblings live. She complained that she couldn't afford the diesel. It fell on deaf ears.
My brothers and I couldn't believe her actions... but they got worse.
Solicitors always win any family will dispute.

lessonlearned

Yes, M.E. I don't suppose for one minute that my story is in any way unique.

It's the shock though isn't it that's so hard to take, the realisation that the person doing all this just isn't who or what you thought they were.

And of course the sad realisation that all those shared years now mean nothing - a rift that can never be healed.

Litchielou

Well ladies/Gentlemen we retire next Wednesday can't wait.

This week I went to Mothers after 2 week gap walked in to see her having a cup of tea with a new home help(elder brother sorted) and was described as 'this is my darling daughter, couldn't do without her' I looked around to see who she was talking about. Laugh or what.
Home help Dolly(love the name) left and the first thing Mother said how is it that elder brother had to sort a home help out because you didn't visit. I knew she wouldn't be nice for long. My reply ' I'm going now Bye'. Think I've got a back bone now.

LL when or if you go with your Sister be strong and graceful which I know you can be.
Thanks for everyone's support.

Take care xx

spirit

LL

Nothing further I can add to Monna's superb words. I'm one who will be cheering you on on the day.

Litchielou

You are doing brilliantly. You have the lovely Spring weather to coincide with your retirement - envious? moi?

lessonlearned

Oh Litchielou.....you gotta laugh, really, haven't you. Anyway well done on the quick no fuss exit.

Passive reistance.......you can't beat it especially when it's delivered with a smile and a cheery wave.

Next Wednesday. Wahoo!!!!