Other thread opened my eyes

lessonlearned

Laura_Elsewhere wrote: »

I won't re-type it, but immediately above this is a longer post from me - I am another who has a life in two halves, first 45 years with a sister, then the rest of it, free, without her...

Just spotted this.....as I said to Pink I have been away.

You are right, it is a life of two halves. It is sad that these estrangement happen but I guess sometimes we just have to cut our losses in order to be free of the heartache and pain.

I am glad you have found a peaceful and stress free life.

PinkMonster

Lessonlearned, I hope you had a great time on your cruise. I suspect I'll never get to go on one, hubby thinks it sounds like the worst holiday ever.

I have 4 sisters ( and 1 more + a brother but that's a different story). the one who is executrix is the only one I've spoken to since my son was 15 weeks old. My twin was, well, I want to say "dumped" but that's not quite right - when we were 19 after she stole $500 from me. She then blamed me for having it for her to steal and I told her she had to sort herself out before I'd have anything to do with her, and she never has. The next 2 went NC (no contact) after we visited Canada and I wasn't allowed to decide who saw my baby and was told I was unreasonable to expect my wishes and boundaries to be followed.

So.... I sit and wait for her to do her job as executrix. ha ha ha....

PinkMonster

And probably the last post from me on this. The reality is that once probate was done it was going to take a year for the govt forms to be finalised and filled in, filed and then processed. Not that I knew any of that. So.... it's still not over. What I did do was to push for info about timelines, and when everything would be done as well as info about an estimated value. She's shown me a little info, enough to know that the 3 oldest got lump sums before our mother died - there's a little over 1/3 of the amount i'd expect there to be - I know what the house sold for.

I emailed her back and told her that after taking legal advice (I contacted 2 local-to-her lawyers and the canadian revenue agency) that the consensus was that this had happened. I told her that it wasn't the decision my mother made that was wrong but how it was carried out - she should have written a new will instead of handing out lump sums to avoid the money being part of her estate and stated how much she wanted each of us to get.

She also stopped communicating with my son who is upset about that, so I have told her that the only communication I expect is for her to fulfil her job of executrix properly and tell me when each govt form has been processed and exactly when everything will be disbursed. It will be next year before the CRA will finish processing the last form and disbursement can happen.

PinkMonster

lessonlearned wrote: »

Just spotted this.....as I said to Pink I have been away.

You are right, it is a life of two halves. It is sad that these estrangement happen but I guess sometimes we just have to cut our losses in order to be free of the heartache and pain.

I am glad you have found a peaceful and stress free life.

I hope no one minds me bringing up an old thread...

Well, my last post all those months ago *was* going to be my last post. But here's one more...

There have been lots of shenanigans. My half-sister who's the executrix has stopped communicating with me. The accountant has been helpful in giving me as much info as she legally can while I'm not her client.

We finally got the accounts in June this year. What I thought had happened did. So no surprise there. I saw no reason to refuse to sign the release form so did and posted it off, 2 copies. The one sent to my half-sister came back because she didn't bother to pick it up, even though I had been instructed by the lawyer to send a copy to him and to her.

My twin on the other hand, refused because she asked the same questions I had with the same response - none. So she has kept asking questions, and trying to insist on answers. I managed to contact her to tell her that there was no point in trying to change anything and that there was no legal way to try to get the money Mum gave the other 3 before she died as she was competent.

She insisted that I must be 'shining her on' at first, I must have gotten money from Mum too and it was just poor little her that was left out. I gave her proof otherwise. She told me to F-off.

The other 3 decided to get a lawyer and petition the court to release the estate without her signature - they didn't consult me, nor am I included in the petition. So my twin hired her own lawyer. I've told both sides I'm not paying for any of this farce. I have no idea how she's paying for a lawyer, she's apparently working as an order picker at Amazon.

And there we are. I'm waiting for less than $50,000 and am being ignored...

lessonlearned

Hi Pink....just caught your update. Lordy what a mess. I don't know what to say really, you must be heartily sick of it all.

I suppose the best thing is just to try and ignore it all, you have signed the papers and done everything you can to expedite matters, it's out of your hands now.

Good luck with it all.

PinkMonster

Yup, it is a farce. They aren't going to give in and give us any of the money Mum gave them before she died - I bet it's mostly already spent as they got it more than 3 years ago.

I plan on emailing monthly to mostly bug the executrix - she can't complain, this is pretty much all of her making.