Other thread opened my eyes

moneyistooshorttomention

I just read that appeal court judgement as being "How can I judge either way? As we arent being told the full facts to work it out for ourselves".

- To me - I'd be working it out on the basis of any child born 1970s onwards is one the mother chose to have (rather than couldnt avoid...courtesy of not having modern-day contraception etc). Therefore the mother has a level of continuing responsibility in a sorta sense - as the (now adult) child "didnt ask to be born" - but the mother did ask for it iyswim

- Maybe the daughter is a perfectly normal decent human being, but the mother isnt and the daughter shouldnt suffer for the fact the mother isnt (if that's the case).

- Maybe the mother didnt spend an adequate amount of money raising the daughter (despite having it available to spend) and instead "scrimped and scraped" at the daughters expense - whilst blowing money on luxuries for themselves and the money is compensation for inadequate diet/heating/etc that they had as a child.

Who knows? and without us being told the full facts we can't judge whether she should have had nothing/more/all one would expect an adult "child" to inherit/etc.

Pollycat

JIL wrote: »

My sil is one of four children, there is her and her sister and two brothers. The brothers live overseas and rarely come home. The sisters help out with their mother as they have always done. Their father died a couple of years ago and all his money went to the mother.
The sons are divorced, the sisters both married.

The mother has changed her will to leave everything to her son's, her reason being that the daughters have husbands to provide for them.
It is very sad.

Were I one of the daughters I might find myself spending more time on the chap who is 'providing for me' instead of helping out the Mother.

grandma247

maryb wrote: »

But I have been happily married for 30 years - well apart from when I contemplate burying him under the patio.

Haha we call them "spade at the back of the head" moments. Have you ever watched the film keeping mum. Very funny film. That was when we started using the phrase.

ariba10

spirit wrote: »

As a mother of a son and daughter - I don't favour one over the other at all.

/QUOTE]

My wife's the same. She claims she treats the boy and the girl equally .

As Robby Burnes put it.

"Oh our God the gift to give us is to see ourselves as others see us."

lessonlearned

Today I met with my sister to scatter dads ashes. It's finished, my last "daughter duty" is complete. The atmosphere was strained but polite. It was the first time we have met since dads funeral. I shall be perfectly happy if it's the last.

Onwards and upwards....my new stress free life, free from family discord and turmoil, starts today.

Free at last.:D

[Deleted User]

Well done LL. Enjoy

spirit

lessonlearned wrote: »

Today I met with my sister to scatter dads ashes. It's finished, my last "daughter duty" is complete. The atmosphere was strained but polite. It was the first time we have met since dads funeral. I shall be perfectly happy if it's the last.

Onwards and upwards....my new stress free life, free from family discord and turmoil, starts today.

Free at last.:D

today is the first day of the rest of your life LL :T

maryb

Be happy!

(That goes for everyone. )

lessonlearned

lessonlearned wrote: »

Today I met with my sister to scatter dads ashes. It's finished, my last "daughter duty" is complete. The atmosphere was strained but polite. It was the first time we have met since dads funeral. I shall be perfectly happy if it's the last.

Onwards and upwards....my new stress free life, free from family discord and turmoil, starts today.

Free at last.:D

Just thought I’d update you all.

You know we talked about Karma.......well it looks like it’s working already.

I have not seen my sister since the scattering of the ashes, last March. She kept emailing me and texting me. I was polite in my replies but kept my distance and never opened a conversation.

The solicitor wound up dads estate And, as predicted, she made no attempt to “make me an offer” until she had the money safely in her bank.

She then offered me a derisory £2k. I blew. I told her what she could do with the £2k. She then upped it to £10k, which I accepted. I have put this on one side and invested it. It will be there for an emergency, if I don’t need it the investment can grow for my children. She came out of the deal with an additional £40k.:rotfl:

I have kept my share of the land. We are still joint owners. I will cross that bridge when I come to it. Again it is likely that my children will be the beneficiaries in years to come.

This all came to pass back in May. Since then I have kept her at arms length. She texts, I answer. I am polite and friendly but I still maintain a healthy distance. I have not seen her, and have no desire to do so..

I don’t know how much money she has left but I think she has already spent a sizeable chunk of her inheritance, splashing out on new expensive furniture, hiring a jacquzzi, having her garden professionally landscaped, lots of parties and entertaining (usually with takeaways or outside catering).

She did not however see fit to have her boiler serviced or replace a broken tumble dryer ..........She has just spent two weeks without hot water or central heating. She is now complaining that she cannot get her washing dry and that the house feels cold and damp......

I guess some people just never learn.

Anyway.......I’m free and happy.

PinkMonster

Hi Lessonlearned -

I'm glad the probate and all that went quickly, if not smoothly for you. I'm still waiting.

It went to court in Canada on May 23 - sister didn't tell me for a month. there is a wait of 6 months to see if anyone wants to fight the will, then another 30 days to show accounts to the beneficiaries and disburse. Of course, this hasn't happened - it should have been done by dec 25.

Supposedly the property and probate in Las Vegas (worth very little) is still in probate there so it can't be finalised in Canada until then. and no communication from this sister until i contact her and tell her I know what's supposed to be happening and why isnt' it?

So until that happens, I won't have the accounts sent to me or know what is in the estate to share 5 ways. In the meantime, we dont' have a car, the oven sounds like a jet engine about to take off, our carpet is almost past threadbare, we need a new fence, the bathroom and kitchen have had it... you get the idea. Hubby had his tooth out without any problems and has decided not to get a denture, at least for now.

I've been busy enough with my business over Christmas that we've been able to have a nice Christmas, buy some new shoes and clothes that hubby and I needed, and pay off a little more on the credit card.

As for my sister and her husband, I don't expect that we will see them again. The business they both work for is going out of business (large canadian dept store that's been run into the ground over the last 10 years) - he was supposed to have lost his job in Oct. but hasn't, he's now shutting down another store after shutting down the one he managed. They were supposed to come out to the UK in Sept after going to the orphanage in the Ukraine they spend all year fundraising for with their church but as he 'was out of a job' they didn't. The last time they were here was when son was 4 1/2. But they go to the Ukraine just about every year. Hey ho.

(I'm up and responding now because the storm woke me up, the rain on our windows sounding like rocks were being thrown at them.)