Other thread opened my eyes

spirit

[QUOTE=lessonlearned;72116945

I have learned another very valuable lesson this week, namely that my sister is not the person I thought she was. She has a mean, nasty and ruthless streak.

Why did I never notice it before.

No the sooner we are financially unshackled the better.[/QUOTE]


Maybe she takes after your father? she'll end up the sad lonely one I suspect.

lessonlearned

spirit wrote: »

Maybe she takes after your father? she'll end up the sad lonely one I suspect.

I guess she does, they did share a lot of commonalties, but it never occurred to me she could be as ruthless as he was.

LameWolf

I have to say, in this instance I agree with LL.

I have been estranged from my family for donkeys' ages; however, I'm the last of the line - none of my parents' siblings or cousins ever had offspring, and I have no siblings.

I decided many years ago that if ever I got a letter from a solicitor saying I'd inherited anything from my father, I'd refuse to accept it; or if that wasn't an option, it'd all go straight to charity. I don't want a single tainted brass farthing off that man.

mrssnowy_2

Good for you lessonlearned.
As we used to say as children 'good riddance to bad rubbish'.
Hard going getting there sometimes tho
Best wishes

mrss

spirit

lessonlearned wrote: »

I guess she does, they did share a lot of commonalties, but it never occurred to me she could be as ruthless as he was.

If she was the Golden child then no doubt he 'groomed' her nicely.

Pollycat

lessonlearned wrote: »

I have learned another very valuable lesson this week, namely that my sister is not the person I thought she was. She has a mean, nasty and ruthless streak.

Why did I never notice it before.

No the sooner we are financially unshackled the better.

I'm really surprised, given what you've written earlier that you are willing to do this:

lessonlearned wrote: »

Well she's has just sent me an olive branch of an email. :rotfl: I have accepted it but shall be keeping a certain distance for now.

especially after writing this:

lessonlearned wrote: »

Well it would appear that she has thought things over and is being even more unpleasant. I think she's lost it.

She refuses to talk to me like a grown up and yet last night she kept Bombarding me with emails each one more histrionic and unpleasant than the last. At half past midnight I ignored the last one in which she had a go at my sons and went to bed.

My OH says I'll do anything for anybody, but if they cross me - I take no prisoners.

I doubt I'd be as forgiving as you, LL.

moneyistooshorttomention

LL - With what you've said about that land - then it sounds as if its not going to be worth much anyway and no-one would be likely to give planning permission on it anyway (and, if they did, then they shouldnt - ie because of being prone to flooding).

So - probably £5,000 is nearer the mark than £50,000.

Put like that - you might as well "make a clean sweep of things" and terminate all ties and just walk away.

I'd rather not have been proven right about your sister in the event:(. But sometimes it's easier for an outsider to see/interpret....

Anyways....as you say - just terminate all contact. Once all this is all sorted - then it might be best to change your email address too?

lessonlearned

I shall accept the olive branch but it doesn't mean I will let her off the hook and give her absolution. She has transgressed.:rotfl:

She has sailed a bit close to the wind in the past and I have always turned a blind eye but this time she has overstepped the mark and she knows it. I think she just woke up this morning and realised she had gone too far.

What she hasn't grasped yet is that this time i have drawn a line and she crossed it without realising it. In many ways I have been testing her to see just how far she would go to get what she wanted and whether I could trust her.

The answer is I can't, she failed the test, abysmally. I called her bluff.

We can never get back to how we were but we can hopefully at least be cordial so our families are not put into a difficult position if they have to meet socially. Theres no need for my boys and their cousin to suffer just because their mums have had a spat or for family friends to be put in an embarrassing situation.

She wil realise soon enough that I mean business and there's no turning back this time. I won't be socialising with her in the future but I won't be shutting down all communications - as long as she behaves herself and keeps a civil tongue in her head.

mrsmac10

Pollycat wrote: »

Litchielou
I think if your Mum is upsetting you so much, I really would have a good think about what your husband says about cutting her negativity out of your lives.

You don't have to look after her just because she's your Mother - I'm sure there'll be posters who disagree with that but when you have a difficult relationship with your mother (I have and still do), it's very hard.

I might have suggested that your Mother is possibly narcissistic but as she seems to treat your 2 brothers and their families different to you and yours I'm not sure if this applies.

My friend's Mother is a nightmare.
No matter what she does for her, it's not good enough.
I printed this off for her and when her Mum has been particularly vile, she takes it out and ticks which ones apply and she says it makes her feel better that it's not her at fault and in a way it tempers her anger at the way her Mum treats her as it's probably something she cant help.

Having read the narsastic questions I can relate to this totally. It is my daughter.

I have two children my daughter decided to become estrainged 15 months ago. She refuses access to our 4 grandchildren. That's hard but tbh I do not miss her now as all conversations / interaction was becoming strained. Her reason for severing contact was the we refused to buy a Chinese meal one night.

Both children were treated equally. Same house deposits same monetary gifts except hers never seemed enough She got money for a big car , a caravan as her daughter had allergies and would never be able to go on holiday. Strangely she was able to go to Alton towers the next year. We were not allowed friends to the caravan but it was frequentent by hers.

I done everything to hold onto her which is similar to the stories on here. Just reversed.

It makes me feel less alone to read of other issues. Counselling has helped. Thanks for sharing

t14cy_t

currently dd is not speaking to me or allowing contact with gc. she has a new bf so i expect that is the root of it. will wait until needed, until then the gc suffer. really unfair. ds lives with dd and is staying clear of all confrontation. luckily no probs with seeing ds twin boys who live with their mum. xx