Other thread opened my eyes

Whoknowskt89

I have started to say no more and more lately.
I've currently got a plan B for my life and it involves moving over 150 miles away from where I currently am. OK partly due to work and mainly to do with property prices but knowing I'd be even further away does put a little smile on my face.

monnagran

Brilliant strategy Whoknows. A bit extreme but very, very effective.

I wouldn't mind betting that none of your family will be available to help you move.

Anyway, the further away the better. Good luck.

x

Whoknowskt89

Thanks!
My office is closing down and I'll be working in London otherwise and I don't particularly want to be commuting into London for the rest of my life.
Plus for the price of my flat I can get a freehold house... A little more and I can get a 2 to 3 bed, parking and a garage!
The plan is for around 2020/2021 but I like to plan ahead..
My dad has been to my flat once, brother never, sisters pop in a few times a year and my mum has been a few times when I first moved in but I already know I can't rely on them for help. I've got some good friends who help me out,
During an op last year I had to get a friend to drive me to and from the hospital and stay for the night as none of my family would help.

lessonlearned

Excellent plan WhoKnows - especially as you say you will end up with a house instead of a flat.

I am thinking along the same lines. I am currently househunting and originally I was thinking it would be nice to live nearer to my sister.

Now, given what has happened I think it would better to maintain a "healthy distance", metaphorically and, after some thought, also physically and geographically.

Not as far as your move but just far enough not to be "on call".

Devious?.. who moi?:rotfl:

Self - preservation........

My son said something last night which echoed what someone on here said......"the best revenge is to live a good life". Sound advice.

I don't want or need revenge but I do want a good life.

I do believe in karma and that true justice always finds a way in the end. This too will pass.

This week has been rough but throughout it all I have been resolute but polite with my sister. She has been offhand and prickly, but I have not risen to the bait.

Today I have dealt with some stuff for the solicitor. Hopefully he has nearly done. Once the dust has settled I can move forward and put all the unpleasantness in the past where it belongs.

Mojisola

Whoknowskt89 wrote: »

knowing I'd be even further away does put a little smile on my face.

I'll bet that they're picking up on the change in you and can't work out what's happening!

Keep them guessing so they don't have time to work on you to change your mind. :T

Whoknowskt89

I have no plans of telling them anything until I have an AIP and an offer on my place I think.
I'm applying for a promotion at work, it may be temporary, but either way they're not getting told.

When I bought my last motorbike, I didn't tell them, just turned up on it rather than my car one day!

lessonlearned

Pollycat wrote: »

I really do feel for you, LL.

Let's hope your sister thinks about the situation a bit more and saves the day.

Update...

Well it would appear that she has thought things over and is being even more unpleasant. I think she's lost it.

She refuses to talk to me like a grown up and yet last night she kept Bombarding me with emails each one more histrionic and unpleasant than the last. At half past midnight I ignored the last one in which she had a go at my sons and went to bed.

Didnt sleep very well though. Quelle surprise......

I have answered it this morning and have defended my boys because her accusations against them were very unkind.

Anyway I'm resigned now. Our relationship is now damaged, probably beyond repair and oddly enough I don't even care now. I am more than happy to be estranged.

She says she is going to make an offer but frankly I don't want any more money. I am going to instruct the solicitor. We also have a plot of land in joint names and I am going to Renounce my interest and gift it to her.

She can have the lot. I just want a "clean break divorce" and to be done with it. I want no further financial entanglements. And.....I don't even want to see her now.

Very sad but there you go.

monnagran

LL: That is sad but I entirely understand how you feel.

I'm sure some people will feel that you should hold out for what is fair and for what is, in the case of the land, yours anyway. It is understandable that you just want an end to the whole situation.

I had a similar situation when I moved very quickly out of a house that I shared with a partner leaving everything that we had bought together and some things that were completely mine, behind. I did ask for a few things to be returned to me but was told that they were "entitled" (that word again) to them.

I said then, and would say again if the occasion demanded...........

"It's only stuff. It won't love me back."

I guess that you feel the same about the money and the land. It's a sad way to lose a sister but she has done it to herself.
Hugs.

x

moneyistooshorttomention

Sorry this has gone so "t*ts up" LL.

I can understand why you are feeling you just "want rid" of things like jointly owning the land with her. Do think twice about taking up that "offer" from her and give her the option of buying you out from that jointly-owned land (for a fair price). I am thinking you might regret not having that money later if you don't and "half a loaf is better than none". Just being very pragmatic on the money front. At least that way - she doesnt walk off with everything. If she doesnt want to buy you out from that land - then just leave it with your name down there as joint owner of it. She's the one more likely to get aggravated about that situation than you are imo.

Then - decide whether to "cut ties" with her once and for all.

One thing to be thankful for is that you've not bought your new place in accordance with her location. You can have a clean slate to think just for yourself where you want to be.

At least you have 3 blessings in your life - your two sons and your new DIL. That's something to be glad of.

Litchielou

LL that is sad but she will in the loser, reading how you have described her she will later in life regret her actions but it will be too late. She has lost a very good sister.
It's not all about money but as others have said leave your name on the land. See what offer she makes making sure this is through the solicitor. Now she is resorting to critizing your boys, block her emails. You don't have to put up with that in life.
Big. Hugs take care xx