Am I spoiling my kids??

FBaby

I agree if it comes down to jealousy than genuine concern for you than they are not really friends in which case time to look for new ones.

freyasmum

I don't think you're spoiling them, and agree it sounds like jealousy on your friends' part.

My dad takes part in
Monday: arts club
Tuesday: karate
Wednesday: film club and tutoring
Thursday: reading club and karate

She doesn't take part in any clubs at the weekend as she has some weekends with her dad, so she would miss out then, but we always have days out (not necessarily always expensive). I think it's healthy for them to have activities outside school- as someone else said, it helps them too make friends out of school as well.

onlyroz

If you can afford it and you've got the time to ferry them all over the place all the time then I don't see the problem. I pay for swimming lessons for my daughter. Until recently I was also paying a fortune for piano lessons but she refused to practice and so I stopped. I would be willing to pay for one or two activities for each child, but there has to be a limit because the costs add up and there is a significant time commitment.

Gloria_Steeth

Many years ago, Nigella (cookery writer) mentioned in one of her books that her friends were making remarks about her feeding her young children with smoked salmon and quails' eggs and suchlike instead of cheaper kiddie food. She said that she saw it as developing their palates for the future.

No-one is immune to critical comments from friends who have different priorities. Everyone knows best how others should be spending or not spending their money!

OP - I think you've got your priorities absolutely right. You're investing in your children's future well-being, not spoiling them.

LannieDuck

I see swimming lessons as a necessity for my kids. Same as teaching them how to cross the road safely.

MallyGirl

All sounds perfectly reasonably providing you can afford it.
My DD, admittedly a teen, does more than that because she is a musician as well as playing hockey, doing Duke of Edinburgh and going to Stagecoach.
2 sets of instrumental lessons as she plays 2 different instruments, plus fees for 2 different bands soon adds up.
I am glad that I am able to offer her these opportunities

svain

I dont think you are spoiling for similar reasons already stated ...

.... however, it does seem fashionable for some mums (less extent dads) to then make it very obvious that they "go without" in other parts of their lives in a declaration of sacrifice. I dont agree with this. Children should of course be encouraged but not at the expense of all adult activities/luxuries (eating out, socialising or shopping etc) .... Its about a balance.

Person_one

Mimi_Arc_en_ciel wrote: »

It's mainly 2 friends saying im spoiling the girls but they've started mentioning it to other friends (some disagree, some say I should spend more on myself)

Are you sure that they are referring to the money you spend on them?

Seems odd that people you are friends with would be so pointlessly mean. Do you not, you know, like and care about each other, if you're friends?

Loz01

If the kids are happy and enjoying their clubs and you have the funds to pay for it then I wouldn't call it spoiling - as long as they're grateful for what you do for them and say thank you now and again!

Spendless

What prompted your friend/s to make a remark about it?

Spending money on them for activities isn't 'spoiling' child/ren in itself, so long as it's affordable, which is all relative to each household.

I spend a similar amount on my teenage DD for her to attend drama and musical theatre classes plus paying for private lessons, as the expenses aren't just the classes/tuition but also the costumes, exam fees and show tickets. This is something she wants to persue at a higher level.

Earlier today though she was a little swine, when I tried to have a conversation with her about a costume she needs in a months time and I'm having difficulty locating and she 'couldn't be bothered'. Anyone witnessing that would have concluded that 'she was spoilt' not because of the money spent as such, but due to the ungratefulness and attitude of her (which I did reprimand her for and got an apology)