Am I spoiling my kids??

DevilsAdvocate1

Mimi_Arc_en_ciel wrote: »

Hi,

Discussing finances recently with my friends and a few have said I am spending too much (or rather "spoiling") on my kids. I didn't think I was but now I'm not so sure! They're 10 and 5

Between them they get:

Horse riding: £140 per month
Savings: £83.00 per month
Swimming: £22per month
Brownies: £16 per month

Looks a lot right? It works out at £30per week each. They don't get pocket money but we always have sweets etc in (and Santa Claus got them both magazine subscriptions)

How much (if you don't mind sharing!) do you spend on your kids? Am I spending too much?!


EDIT: I can afford these activities. My friends said I should cut their money and keep it for myself / put into savings (I already do save btw)

If you can afford it then I can't see the problem. I don't think any of the activities could be described as indulgent. Think I spend way more on my children - I have 3 boys.

Son 1 aged 19 - £28 per week on piano lessons. He used to get guitar lessons as well at £10 a week, but dropped this so he could have the money instead. He had viola too but dropped this as he didn't want to do it anymore.
Son 2 aged 16 - £14 on piano, £10 on guitar, £10 on viola and £7.50 on drama. About to add a personal training session every fortnight which will cost £27.50 each time.
Son 3 aged 11 - £7.50 on dancing; £7.50 off ice; £40 on private ice skating lessons and £30 for ice time. I also ice skate, so similar for ice time but a lot less for lessons !!!!

Think I'll be rich when they all leave home!!!!

Coveredinbees!!!!

I have a 5 and 7 year old girls, don't know the figures but they have swimming, the eldest doing brownies and cello lessons the 5 y/o has ballet.

LindieR

I don't think 'spoiling' is about how much is spent, it's about the attitude in which something is received.

Mimi_Arc_en_ciel

I've just seen this has had a few replies - I did write a huge reply back but my tablet died. There's a lot of comments on facebook too so I'll post quick replies (mainly to the FB posts, I'm not posting on there to get lynched, I know a few are reading back on here so......) i will try and catch up tomorrow:

No, I'm not in debt. I limit 'my' money because I am saving up for things (new car, old age....)

I do spend time with the kids, I'm there every horse riding lesson watching DD1, And lead reining DD2 (not allowed to stay poolside at swimming, not at rainbows/brownies) but we also go to the park, or to a local tourist attraction (annual pass so pretty much there every week) as well as going out on bikes, or watching films. We also sit together each night and I listen to them read.

This post wasn't about me bragging - I never asked for it to be post of the week, it was a genuine question but thanks for that comment

Its up to them whether they go to uni, I'm not stopping them from their activities to save the money for this. They might not even want to go

I don't expect anything back from them for these activities HOWEVER they do chores. Always have done. I don't believe they should 'earn' the things, they are part of this household so they help, regardless whether they get things or not.

They know about their savings, DD1 is encouraged to help choose a bank to put her money jato when the interest drops and gets a statement etc. DD2 will do, but she's only 5 so doesn't quite grasp it yet

With all due respect, you have no idea whether I give to charity or not so to comment I should be 'helping an underprivileged child instead of encouraging middle class' was a low blow. For what it's worth, I do actually, I give to a heart charity - I've also run sponsored marathons to raise money for them and awareness) and at Christmas we do shoeboxes (you can do these online now a days) - what do you do?

I'm sorry if I missed anything, I'm off to bed now though,will catch back up when I can

goodwithsaving

If you can afford it, why not. Don't feel guilty about wanting to give your children experiences. You work hard for your family - who cares what anyone else thinks. They're fortunate children but it'll hopefully ensure they grow into well rounded adults who seek to provide exactly the same for their own children one day too.

FBaby

What you've missed is explaining what you think prompted your 'friends' to make these comments. Are you still seeing them? Have they explained?

Mimi_Arc_en_ciel

Sorry I thought I replied to that one.


When I asked about it they just said they thought I was spending too much on the kids (They know I'm not in debt etc)


It stems from me not going on a hen weekend for a friend of a friend (I don't like the girl...)

FBaby

So just a misunderstanding then. Hopefully you clarified the reason and they accepted it had nothing to do with not having the money for the hen week-end.

ps: I think you did mention this, I didn't realise the two were directly linked.

martinbuckley

Mimi_Arc_en_ciel wrote: »

Horse riding: £140 per month
Savings: £83.00 per month
Swimming: £22per month
Brownies: £16 per month

I can afford these activities. My friends said I should cut their money and keep it for myself / put into savings (I already do save btw)

If you can afford to save for yourself, save for your kids and treat them then go for it!