Am I spoiling my kids??

stormbreaker

Initially on seeing the title of your post, I thought if you have to ask then most likely yes.

But no you are not!

They are activities which encourage socialising which is lacking in most youngsters and you can afford it.

Enjoy your kids and don't get too hung up on what others think or what they do with their kids.

mich13x

I am in agreement with most other posters if you can afford it then it can only be benificial for your children.

My daughter attends
Rainbows 1.50 per week plus £35 yearly fee
Swimming lessons £23 per month
Gymnastics £24 four weekly

My son attends:
Swimming £23 per month
Beavers £2 per week

maman

I agree it's not excessive and good activities to choose.

All I'd say, as a general point, is don't fill their lives with organised activities. A bit of time to be bored and amuse themselves or just do nothing is a good thing as is time with mum and dad.

kingfisherblue

It sounds fine to me, as you can afford it (I could never have afforded horse riding lessons, but my kids never showed any interest either). Your Brownie aged daughter might want to ask her riding instructor and swimming teacher if they can check her Brownie badge clauses and sign them off if she has completed them all - she could potentially gain Swimmer, Swimmer Advanced, and Rider (if she doesn't already have them).

System

I agree with everyone else, you can afford it and the kids benefit in many different ways from the activities so no i don't think you're spoiling them.

Said "friends" may just be jealous as perhaps their own budget means they can;t do as mnay things.

Spoiled to me would be buying them everything they wanted (and never saying no) and spending it on pointless stuff.

FBaby

So really, this thread becomes what is it that OP's friends would think what they said (not one, but it sounds all or most of them)?

It can indeed be jealousy if their kids don't do so much and they wish they could. In this case, I would revise my friendship network OR, it could be that OP has been moaning about things she can't afford whilst going on about her kids activity, prompting that response, say if they have all organised to night out or week-end away together to celebrate a special birthday and OP has said that she could do it because she can't afford it after she went on about how tired she is taking the kids to all their activities.

Mimi_Arc_en_ciel

Thank you all for the replies.


We do have "down time" - all of their activities are Friday - Sun but not all day. Swimming is early sat morning so we do something together in the afternoon. Horse riding is Sunday AM (girls are in different groups) so they watch each other then eldest DD goes off with her friends to help out and me and DD2 spend time together. I have a lot of the school holidays off so we build forts :rotfl: or have a PJ & Movie day etc


Nope, I don't really moan about money - I'm careful with what I spend (Who isn't on here....) but I'm not out every weekend (like some of my friends are) each year we have a "girls weekend away" and we always celebrate occasions (so if its a friends birthday we all head out)


The only thing I've turned down recently is a trip to pizza hut (more because its 8pm on a school/work night midweek and im up at 5am most days)


It's mainly 2 friends saying im spoiling the girls but they've started mentioning it to other friends (some disagree, some say I should spend more on myself) - The thing is, I would rather save the money I have left over than spend it. I've never understood why you'd spend £40 on a pair of shoes (that you wouldn't need) when you can take your kids out.

rach_k

If your friends are talking about how you choose to parent to other people, it sounds like they have jealousy issues. If it was a genuine concern that you were spoiling your children, a decent person would mention it to you, offer suggestions/support and then leave it. People who are normally nice (which I assume they are, if you're friends with them) don't broadcast what they see as a friend's failings unless there is something else at play - in this case, I think jealousy! Either that or they're not very good friends so you should tell them to jog on.

thorsoak

Mimi_Arc_en_ciel wrote: »

Thank you all for the replies.


We do have "down time" - all of their activities are Friday - Sun but not all day. Swimming is early sat morning so we do something together in the afternoon. Horse riding is Sunday AM (girls are in different groups) so they watch each other then eldest DD goes off with her friends to help out and me and DD2 spend time together. I have a lot of the school holidays off so we build forts :rotfl: or have a PJ & Movie day etc


Nope, I don't really moan about money - I'm careful with what I spend (Who isn't on here....) but I'm not out every weekend (like some of my friends are) each year we have a "girls weekend away" and we always celebrate occasions (so if its a friends birthday we all head out)


The only thing I've turned down recently is a trip to pizza hut (more because its 8pm on a school/work night midweek and im up at 5am most days)


It's mainly 2 friends saying im spoiling the girls but they've started mentioning it to other friends (some disagree, some say I should spend more on myself) - The thing is, I would rather save the money I have left over than spend it. I've never understood why you'd spend £40 on a pair of shoes (that you wouldn't need) when you can take your kids out.

Sounds to me as if the two friends think that you should be spending more on yourself (or on them!) Personally, it looks to me as if you have got the balance about right - it will change as the girls get older - but that's life. I would far rather see money spent as you are, than on buying loads of worthless tat for Christmas presents as here :- https://www.indy100.com/article/spoilt-children-christmas-presents-emma-tapping-7489646

So, in my opinion, you are not spoiling your children - your "friends" could find that they are spoiling your friendship.

Mojisola

Mimi_Arc_en_ciel wrote: »

It's mainly 2 friends saying im spoiling the girls but they've started mentioning it to other friends

I think I'd be reducing the time I spent with these 'friends'.

They'll be planning an American-style intervention next to make you see the error of your choices. :rotfl: