Weekly Flylady Thread 9th January 2017

greenbee

Yes, they can sleep on a blow up bed. In the living room, so that there is NO chance they stay in bed while everyone else is up and about. And they'll have to bring a travel cot with them for the baby.

You have stuff to do - they invited themselves on a date of their choosing so can't expect you to be free. Just because you home ed your kids doesn't mean you are available all the time. Are there any other home ed parents nearby that you could arrange a joint activity with that you can take the baby too? That way you're 'out'. SIL can come with you if she wants to. Or go out on her own with the baby.

Tidy up, put stuff away. Run down food stocks prior to their visit so they don't eat through your supplies and plan a shop for when they leave. Breakfast can be porridge/cereal and work out similar options for lunch and dinner. If they ask for something else 'sorry, that's all there is'. If they eat something that was meant for another meal, other meal is served without it. If they want anything more than your would normally have, they need to contribute. Make it up to your kids later.

karcher

Well said greenbee, I second all your advice.

Of course they can sleep on a blow up bed and it is their responsibility to bring something for the baby to sleep in.

Try not to let it upset you mummy2threeboys, you are doing them the favour so the least they can do is contribute to food etc.

loudmouth

mummy2threeboys wrote: »

Dizzy Hugs , hope doggy is ok and all goes well today xx

have a bit of a grr moment. My brother asked if "he" could stay at my house as he has a court case (custody battle) very near to me and quite early in the am I said yes . Now I found out that, it's not just him but his wife and the baby. So I will now have to change my bedding, then change it again after they sleep in it (do other people do that) . Where do I put the baby, (10 months) mum won't let her sleep in the bed with her . I have to feed them all lunch x2 dinner x2 and breakfast and moneys very tight. I will have to hide all my stuff somewhere as brother as been know to be very nosy..AND light fingered! Mum wants to go shopping, I have stuff to do (I also Home ed my elder two) . I said I would take care of the baby so she can go alone but won't go alone. I can't let them sleep on the blow up mattress can I ? I really struggle having people around me (Bad anxiety) even just being with someone other than kids and hubby for more than an hour is upsetting. When Did "I" become "we"..changes the game completly. Plus I will have to deal with ex sis shouting abuse at me when I see her (bump into her lots) even though I keep a distance and never get involved. all because of my brother..familys can be so complex.
Sorry for my rant..i'm sure there is a way around it .
Onwards and upwards..work to do.
Hugs to all and blessings for a good day x

Hun, are you actually saying you are giving up your bed for them? No way, don't make them too comfortable. It's not your problem how the baby sleeps, when we went anywhere when our kids were babies we always took a travel cot that doubled as a play pen. It's also not your problem he needs to get to court so early. Tell him that you don't mind him staying but you can't put his family up too as it's school nights and even though they are home ed they still have to be taught without the distraction of a baby. I mean school classes don't have a 10 month old in the classroom do they?
I know exactly how you feel about other people being in your space. I am the same and I have come to terms that at my age I won't change but age gives you the excuse to say no and mean it! Practise in front of the mirror! Say no I have thought things over and I really can't let my children's routine change during the week. I have to put them first.

mummy2threeboys

Thanks all, The voice of reason. I have text with a few things, like can you bring food . As we already have plans in place for the elder boys you can either come to those plans (Karate lessons) or stay at my house or go shopping alone (It's really not hard to get into town!) Plus also at home learning. And they can sleep in the dining room (Table folds away) as Hubby and I do not go to bed till 11ish. Thanks. This is indeed why I get treated like a doormat, sadly I take after my mother!

loudmouth

mummy2threeboys wrote: »

Thanks all, The voice of reason. I have text with a few things, like can you bring food . As we already have plans in place for the elder boys you can either come to those plans (Karate lessons) or stay at my house or go shopping alone (It's really not hard to get into town!) Plus also at home learning. And they can sleep in the dining room (Table folds away) as Hubby and I do not go to bed till 11ish. Thanks. This is indeed why I get treated like a doormat, sadly I take after my mother!

You say your brother is light fingered, there is no way I would leave them alone in my home!. Toughen up , say no sorry. I know now it's too late for this time though. I feel for you ,I know what it's like to be dominated by siblings. Xx

Mumof2_2

Mummy2threeboys you've had some really good advice here; I know it's hard but even though he's your brother you have to be firm. I'm another one who likes my own space and I hate having people around but don't like to say no.

Done some paid stuff and done all I can in the bathroom including getting on my hands and knees and cleaning the en-suite floor. It was minging. There, I've said it! Next time will be much easier. Having lunch now - left over cottage pie and it smells gorgeous - when I was scrubbing the floor I was thinking to myself not long til cottage pie and it kept me going. Sad or what!!

J called; interview went well but he won't know for a fortnight. He knows 2 of the people on the panel and has worked with them before so now it's just a case of waiting. Good news is it only took him 50 mins to get there - when he worked for the civil service it was only 6 miles away but it used to take him at least as long to get to there!

Going to vacuum this afternoon - makes a real difference running the vacuum around doesn't it.

loudmouth

Grrrr why am I the only person in this house who is finishing off stuff? I would like to be a starter of stuff! Just sorted bathroom and all the end bits that I will have to finish off . I suppose I should hide all new stuff until everything's finished.

Mumof2_2

You're not alone there Loudmouth; I always finish off other people's stuff. Z in particular has a habit of leaving a fair bit of shampoo in the bottom of the bottle and saying it's empty - typical 14 year old girl I guess.

I've vacuumed right through, unloaded DW and now about to hang up washing. J back again now; I think today is about the longest we've been apart since last May :eek:!

mummy2threeboys

loudmouth wrote: »

You say your brother is light fingered, there is no way I would leave them alone in my home!. Toughen up , say no sorry. I know now it's too late for this time though. I feel for you ,I know what it's like to be dominated by siblings. Xx

Oh yes I never would, He will be away but my sil will be with me at home still. She's ok, Don't think she has seen that side of him yet.

Yes hubby Is so wasteful with toothpaste a middle of the tube squeezer, I get another fortnight out of his throw aways, . He also uses a bottle of shower gel in about 10 days (showers once a day) seems a lot to me, mine lasts a month with one of the puffy things?

Todays lists all done :T Just need to do laundry and washing up hokey cokey. Lunch over xx

LameWolf

mummy2threeboys wrote: »

Thanks all, The voice of reason. I have text with a few things, like can you bring food . As we already have plans in place for the elder boys you can either come to those plans (Karate lessons) or stay at my house or go shopping alone (It's really not hard to get into town!) Plus also at home learning. And they can sleep in the dining room (Table folds away) as Hubby and I do not go to bed till 11ish. Thanks. This is indeed why I get treated like a doormat, sadly I take after my mother!

Good stuff - I'd deffo not want to leave anyone "light-fingered" in the house on their own, either.
Do NOT make them too comfortable, or they'll want to stay at yours whenever the whim takes them.
Next time, have a ready "reason" why it's totally not do-able.
Repeat after me: "mummy2threeboys is not a doormat! mummy2threeboys is going to learn to say No."

I did the bathroom very thoroughly already; does that mean I can have a day off?

We're waiting for the CH engineer to come and do some tweaks to the new thermostat, then Mr LW wants to go and see "Assassin's Creed" at the cinema.