Do You Trust Your Other Half?

Brightonsbest_2

StaffieTerrier wrote: »

I was cheated on. He didn't blame me. He was a serial cheater, and in fact he's already cheated on his new partner. Does that mean I don't trust my current partner? Of course not. If either of us wanted to go through each other's phone or emails we're more than welcome but we don't because we trust each other and have no intentions of hurting each other.

I know how painful it is when you find out a long term partner has cheated on you but you have to let go and move forward. Worrying that every partner is cheating on you isn't any good for your mental health. It causes stress and anxiety which will often cause problems in a current relationship.

Thanks for sharing.
" we trust each other and have no intentions of hurting each other."

I've said it before and repeat, every cheat does say that and that is a fact.

You are right re mental health and worry, but rather be sure of find out in my own time.

The cheater, the decpetion, trust me when I say this, the deception levels and the lying has no limits - cheats will swear on the lives of thei kids/family.

Anther fact, woem are much harder to catch at cheating as they are cunning and most will get sex a few times but don't want to lose their home and children so will stop before being caught. For this reason I always recommed safe sex even with your other half as you don't know for sure where they have been, but your choice

Brightonsbest_2

fairy_lights wrote: »

That sounds like pretty unhealthy and controlling behaviour.

Apoligies but I can't work out the bit about "controlling"??

I have a look, sneaky one, but I don't stop here from going to work, going out shops/etc or calling/speaking to other people. All I do is to ensure to the best of my ability that I'm not being cheated/deceived again

annandale

Yes folks, always have safe sex with your other halves because you don't know where they have been.

This thread is a wind up. If it's not I feel very sorry for the OPs partner.

Shocking comments about women

Brightonsbest_2

jondav wrote: »

I agree with most of the other posters here and in all honesty, I think that you may need some sort of counselling because you have obviously not gotten over what has happened to you and it is clearly still affecting you.

It has happened to me in the past - someone that I was involved with turned out to be a compulsive liar and cheat. Yes it hurt.....very badly.....for a VERY long time and I trusted no-one.

I am with someone else now and I will admit that the trust (from my side) took a while to come. However, I was honest with him from the start about why I felt the way I did and I was lucky that he understood and coped with me questioning him and being "paraniod" about small things that really were nothing at all.

A good few years have passed now and I would never dream of checking up on him like I used to. That is all in the past now and I trust him completely.

It is very unfair to judge everyone by how others have treated you in the past.

It was my ex that hurt me, not my current OH, so why should he have to suffer the mis-trust?

Hi
Thanks for sharing.

Good post and I agree with most of it bar the first and last papragraphs.

Fact is a cheat will rarely declare he/she is cheating. Even when found out, they will lie and lie. Most married men return to their wife and kids as they fear the new love may do a dirty on them especially if she was cheating as well.

Like I said earlier most women will get away with it and too fearful to leave nice home/kids

Open question - when you found out about the decit, did they lie? Did they also tell you earlier that you was the love of their life and could never dream of cheating on you?

jackieblack

Applecart wrote: »

She was visiting her sister and an only child?

:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:
Well spotted!

[Deleted User]

Brightonsbest wrote: »

Yes, we too share our codes/etc in saving accounts, but I do have a sneaky look especially if she gets more than a couple of texts a day, as we are not mobile phone made.

ATB

I just ask who's texting her so much!

I'll occasionally use the 'find my iphone' when she's on a night out to check she's safe (since I don't want to nag her when she's having fun with her mates) and invariably I've got to give her directions to get home or train times anyway.

I tend to just text her to let her know where I am though

Brightonsbest_2

annandale wrote: »

Yes folks, always have safe sex with your other halves because you don't know where they have been.

This thread is a wind up. If it's not I feel very sorry for the OPs partner.

Shocking comments about women

As they say, facts are stranger than fiction

Please get a grip as I'm talking about cheats MEN AND WOMEN - SO DO NOT TRY TO MISQUOTE ME.

Thanks:)

Brightonsbest_2

ringo_24601 wrote: »

I just ask who's texting her so much!

I'll occasionally use the 'find my iphone' when she's on a night out to check she's safe (since I don't want to nag her when she's having fun with her mates) and invariably I've got to give her directions to get home or train times anyway.

I tend to just text her to let her know where I am though

Clearly, you are one caring gent. Me and my OH, we always try and tell eachother whhere we are going and approx time back and if a late back by more than 20-30 mins we will update.

On the odd ocassion, I do come back home early especially on the days my OH is not working

annandale

Who misquoted you? Women are much harder to catch at cheating as they are cunning? For this reason I always recommend safe sex with your other half as you don't know where they have been.

Must have been my eyes deceiving me eh?

Talk about a lot of attention seeking mysoginistic rubbish

Brightonsbest_2

Look guys, your choice if you want to or not check.

I have tried to cover my ID but most may be aware by my user name where about i live.

For the record I do trust my OH, but nagging doubts linger. OH not aware re my covert actions but is aware how I was deceived in the past.

The last time I checked my other halfs mobile was around xmas as she got several texts, ie a few more than usal but it was work related ie a person wanted to take off time sick as my OH is a manager.