Do You Trust Your Other Half?

Out,_Vile_Jelly

I can't imagine feeling the urge to read a partner's emails or texts. I would feel like I were living in a soap opera. Who has time for all this extra drama in their life?

Pollycat

Brightonsbest wrote: »

Morning

Thank you all for the new response.

As anticipated by me, sadly, most have their heads buried in the sand.

How many people have had another half where they declared, "I'm cheating on you,"? The ones that found out, did not not previously say things like, EG, "you are the love of my life, I will never cheat on you, let you down, you can trust me, you are my life, etc, etc"?

Most men given half a chance would go for it. Many start off as a one off risk, but it builds up - others moan about their home life and leads to relationships and more.

Rarely do you get a so-called loving other half to admit early on that they are seeing another person.

What gives you the right to decide that the posters who have replied 'have their heads buried in the sand'?

If you are asking - as you did - people to comment on whether they trust their OH, then don't dismiss the replies that don't agree with your own viewpoint.

Brightonsbest_2

Thank you all again

Pollycat my dear friend. I have every "right" to believe that most have their heads "buried in sand" as that is my opinion and prerogative. You are entitled to your views as you have posted.

I am not "dismissing" any replies but see and hear too often that I "trust him/her, won't lie/cheat,etc" but do you really believe the ones caught out cheating did not say those things?

In my view, better to check than be deceived as deception really hurts especially if you find out years down the road.

Mojisola

Brightonsbest wrote: »

In my view, better to check than be deceived as deception really hurts especially if you find out years down the road.

Living with someone who felt the need to regularly check that I was being faithful would be enough to drive me away from the relationship.

justme111

Well according to your statistics then(90%) those that check can be almost certain they will find something at some point and those who do not check can be almost certain that they will either find it somewhat later or it happened and they did not know about it. So checking just may help to find it sooner which, given that the outcome is the same, is of questionable benefit. Add to it unpleasties of checking and the only viable solution to avoid all that is to live alone :rotfl:
Your entire argument is one big hole - starting from poorly defined "cheating" , continuing with "statistics" which includes something that never happened like "attempted cheating" and finishing with a reasoning that does not have much logic. If you found skmeone that copes (for now) with being checked then I am glad for you. At some point the precautions in order to avoid pain become so cumbersome that they defeat the purpose. Mind , op may just dramatise in his descriptions - may be his partner is making a point of leaving her phone around unlocked as she knows she has nothing to hide and wants to reassure him. I like it when my partner has a look on my phone to either pick up a message when I am busy or when I want to show him a piece of conversation or a picture. I would want him to know the nature of my contact with my friends and interaction with world and stop him from wondering. If I have nothing to hide why not to show it. It is not him "checking " though.

Pollycat

Brightonsbest wrote: »

Thank you all again

Pollycat my dear friend. I have every "right" to believe that most have their heads "buried in sand" as that is my opinion and prerogative. You are entitled to your views as you have posted.

I am not "dismissing" any replies but see and hear too often that I "trust him/her, won't lie/cheat,etc" but do you really believe the ones caught out cheating did not say those things?

In my view, better to check than be deceived as deception really hurts especially if you find out years down the road.

Of course you are dismissing all the replies from posters who say they do trust their partners.

Have as jaundiced view of relationships as you like - or as your own experiences have taught you - but don't project that opinion onto other people.

ripplyuk

I don't trust anyone completely. My opinion is simply that humans are not to be trusted.

Having said that, there's levels of trust. It's not all or nothing. My partner can't be trusted to remember to collect the dry cleaning but I trust that he's not cheating on me.

Perhaps it's more that I choose to trust him. I just can't be bothered worrying that he might cheat. I'll deal with it if it happens.

Brightonsbest_2

Hi again

Look guys, your choice wht you do. Me, I still check on the odd occasion. The only reason I don't cheat as had nothing offered, not looking for it, when a near call I ignore as fear of marriage breakdown and split of capital will not allow me to stay in our nice house.

I feel people that check as you can see by the votes are too fearful to post. Given the chance to post they would have heard all before, "i love you, never cheat on you..." - But trust me, even the cheats say yh same things otherwise you would not be with him/her.

Warning signs, very possessive re their mobile, laptop and dress differently and out more and different hours.

The choice is yours if you want to be sure or remain ignorant

Ronaldo_Mconaldo

Why is nobody biting about the weirdo who keeps going on about how much he loves his cousin? Are we just ignoring the attention seeker?

Brightonsbest_2

Dear Rippluuk

Good post - you will be ok, just keep your eyes and minds open.

Btw guys, when a cheat is caught, they will always blame you and not themselves.