Do You Trust Your Other Half?

The_Last_Username

I must confess to being in agreement with Fruitcake.
And therefore I have absolutely zero intention of checking my OH's phone and if she really feels the need to check mine, she can go ahead.
She'll soon get very bored.
Mind you, it's not unusual for us to use each others phones anyway.

Which brings me to your poll which I cannot answer because I am unsure how you intended to answer.
No I do not check.
But neither am I ignorant because I do not check.

fierystormcloud

Brightonsbest wrote: »

Hello

Before you jump on me, read, digest, think about it and then post.

About 90% of all adults have cheated, thought about it or tried and failed.

I recall listening to a woman on a radio station last year, she had just celebrated her 30th wedding anniversary - cut long story shower as follows: Her parents died, only child, got couple of hundred k's banked it - then soon after got a volunteer redundancy offer at age of 55 her husband told her to take it, banked cash. Had her wedding anniversary and husband told guests, "she is the best thing since sliced bread." The woman got an anonymous letter saying her husband having an affair with her best friend - she doubted it but then things did not look right the more she thought about it and asked her husband one night and too her surprise he admitted it. What hurt was it had been going on for 20 yrs. He promised he would end it, but left a couple of days later when she was visiting her sister. That really hurt after all she forgave him by deceit really hurt. Then a few days later she logged into her bak account and noted it was empty, then checked and another account, empty and she thought she was victim of crime - turned out her hubby took the money, all of it as in joint accounts and allowed single access - police could not do anything - so he took his money, the money wife worked for and got from parents house and volunteer redundancy.

I have read many times people saying that there "must be trust...I could never spy/check on my other half and if you don't trust them, then leave." Be honest with yourself, would you want to be deceived not just on a one off but for years or even forever? I thought not. I have sadly met several women, co-workers that ranted on about, "if i ever found out my other half was cheating I'd cut off their ... and throw them out." Sadly when they found out, and like most did not expect it, they fell apart and begged their other half to say as this is a common thing as one is usually not prepared.

Sadly, just as many women cheat these days as men as the mobile phone, texting/the internet can play a big role, EG old days a bit of a lol at work stayed at work and most men/women were too fearful to overstep the mark - but via texts they will try and if fail will say "just joking" but usually the other person goes along with it and it builds into real stuff. Sadly, many men wrongly assume the child is theirs but not the case.

Would you check your other half's mobile/etc? I would especially if they kept it close to their chest, using the mobile more often and get angry when you get near it and suddenly have new friends, overtime, work related matters, sports, taking more care of self and easily agitated and then happy when ret home - could be cheating?

WARNING SIGNS: Mobile close to chest always locked as well as lap top. Coming off the phone as soon as you walk in or turning over page on laptop - saying to you, "don't you treat me making you feel guilty." Ne so-called friends, out more different times working longer, etc, etc - more worryingly if they have a second mobile that they hide from you, or a so-called 'works mobile' that they did not have before.

MANY WILL SAY I HAVE A "TRUST PROBLEM" THE WORRYING FACT IS MOST WILL CHEAT, MOST WON'T GET FOUND OUT AND ALL OF THE TIME YOU ARE BEING DECEIVED

Where did you get this fact from? That 90% of people will cheat (or think about it.)

Applecart

She was visiting her sister and an only child?

C_Mababejive

My partner is one of the very few people i can truly say that i have the highest level of trust in.

TESCOBABE56

If I didnt trust her, that would probably be "it".

I'm an honest man, I told her decades ago if ever I wanted to cheat, I would go and leave her with everything.
I made a promise and a contract.
I dont welch .

Or cheat.

System

Both hubby and i have passcodes on our phones. Not because of trust issues but because we have both nearly lost our phones whilst out.

Ive never asked him for his passcode and he's never asked for mine.

Torry_Quine

Trust is or should be the foundation of a relationship and once lost so is the relationship. We know each others codes but wouldn't think of looking at each others phones etc, he won't even go into my handbag without asking first.

The figure of 90% having cheated or thought about it is ridiculous.

The OP obviously has issues but trying to see all relationships through their issues is unhelpful

onlyroz

I absolutely 100% trust my husband and have no desire to check his phone. He can speak, text or write to whoever he likes.

Piscean1991

I would never check his phone and I would absolutely flip if he checked mine. We regularly use each other's phones with permission anyway so there's clearly nothing to hide on either of our parts. If he's driving, I text for him and vice versa.

That said, it's not about whether or not there's anything to hide, it's about a basic right to some privacy and a demonstration of trust. I wouldn't go and eavesdrop on his conversations so why would I read his messages? Not to mention, I'd be devastated if I spoiled something for myself. My boyfriend has arranged some amazing presents for me that would not have been a surprise had I looked at his phone. If he keeps something private from me, I trust that it's for good reason and he has the same trust in me.

tommix

I trust my missus implicitly..She told me once, "don't worry darling, I would never hurt you! My clients mean nothing to me"..
I believe her..