Do You Trust Your Other Half?

Pollycat

Lioness_Twinkletoes wrote: »

Jesus, the OP needs therapy.

I've been married for 25 years, and trust my husband absolutely 100%. I'd trust him with my life. He has no passcode on his phone (bless, he can barely use it) and is happy for me to answer it if it rings and he's busy. He works from 6am - 4.30pm Monday to Friday and is at home with me when he's not at work.

I have no reason not to trust him and I can assure the OP I am not burying my head in the sand at all.

I've been in this relationship for 30+ years.

In my previous relationship, my husband of 8 years embarked on an almost 2 year affair with a girl just over half his age.

Has that made me paranoid about what my 'new' partner is getting up to?
Do I check his phone, check his browsing history, go through his pockets when he comes home?

No - because that would be projecting negatively onto him the poor treatment that somebody else gave to me.
It would have a corrosive effect on our relationship.

This behaviour that the OP describes is - imho - not normal unless you have some suspicion that your partner may be cheating and I don't think the OP has any such suspicion.

It is entirely up to the OP if he wishes to risk his current relationship by checking up on his partner.
However, I draw the line when he blithely dismisses other posters' affirmations of trust for their partners and attempts to convince people he is right by quoting spurious statistics.

Lily-Rose_3

Brightonsbest wrote: »

Thanks for sharing again.

Good points in your post.

As time goes on, I check less often as trust builds up over many years but takes less than a second to lose.

I would never say to my other half that I like to have intercourse with some good looking B rated celeb or otherwise.

Checking sneakily the OH mobile/internet, totally agreed and clearly stated in my original post - caution advised as you may not be prepared for what you find. Yes, it will not stop cheating, but it will stop you being deceived for weeks, months, years or forever.

The types that go on the Mr Kyle show, they are not the types of cheats I refer to as they are on a different planet. I'm talking the ordinary, hard working, or least one half working, when one gets a chance at work, or out and about when the other half is out working. Does not sound classy. A few stories I've heard where hubby is working his backside off, and a builder is at home - and for the duration the builder is there, (usually when it's a lone builder,) wifey is at home getting bored and is watching him and watching those limbs stretch/etc.

You appear to be a wise man and happy relationship, good luck

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl: Priceless!

Out,_Vile_Jelly wrote: »

I think I've seen that film! OP, hate to break it to you but it wasn't real.

:T

Pollycat wrote: »

Was that Debbie does Bob the Builder (or Pete the Plumber or Carl the Carpenter?)

If the OP is to be believed, a vast percentage of married women are simply gagging for extra marital sex the minute their partner's back is turned.

And it's simply not real life for the majority of women (regardless of what his 'statistics' say).

I've got all on loading the washing machine and deciding what to cook for tea. :rotfl:

Yeah sure Pollycat! While you're thinking about smooching with the window cleaner! :cool: :rotfl:

comeandgo

I work in a male dominated career and when I first started I was totally shocked on the number of males who had affaires while working away, now nothing shocks me and I never ever let on to their wives. The affaires are usually over as soon as the men go to another site, they mean nothing, just something to do in an evening.

Brightonsbest_2

Lioness_Twinkletoes wrote: »

Jesus, the OP needs therapy.

I've been married for 25 years, and trust my husband absolutely 100%. I'd trust him with my life. He has no passcode on his phone (bless, he can barely use it) and is happy for me to answer it if it rings and he's busy. He works from 6am - 4.30pm Monday to Friday and is at home with me when he's not at work.

I have no reason not to trust him and I can assure the OP I am not burying my head in the sand at all.

Hi

Please read the OP, get a grip and then respond. I clearly did NOT say that everyone cheated and that is a fact. I'm happy for you as your husband does appear to be a genuine bloke. However, and no offence, in my books the wors 'never' is meaningless, so keep up the good work, give and take, remain open and never by temepted

:T:T:T

annandale

You'll be told to get a job shortly

Pmsl

Brightonsbest_2

comeandgo wrote: »

I work in a male dominated career and when I first started I was totally shocked on the number of males who had affaires while working away, now nothing shocks me and I never ever let on to their wives. The affaires are usually over as soon as the men go to another site, they mean nothing, just something to do in an evening.

Thanks for sahiring as this could easily be another one of my threads that is in the piepline. I won't quote percentages unless pushed but in England, many men believe the child is theirs but in actual fact it was sired by another man.

As I stated earlier with evidence form a respected media source, approx 90% of the cheating women never get found out, so on the whole I putty men as they think they are clever, but its the women that have it off, get pregant by another man and the husband thinks he is the daddy. Sadly, more and more men as secretly going for DNA tests. I don't recommed that as the child now possibly an adult that you thought was yours is yours - why should a little bit of sperm, where it came from matter. What should matter is you are the dayy and they are your kids, unless they grow up to be losers and you may want to check, but your choice as you are playing with unstable dynatmite.

ATB

Brightonsbest_2

Hi

Just to remind all. I'm not saying everyone will cheat but many do and many more have the potential.

As I said earlier, women that cheat usally get away with it as men in many cases are too trusting or foolishly feel they are the only ones that cheat

Keep your eye and minds alert!

annandale

My post wasn't directed at you. No idea what you are going on about.

annandale

You are just trolling for a reaction now. No one in their right mind calls the daily mail a respected media source.

As for your comments about me not having a job, (wrong) , if that's the best insult you can come up with you really need to need to get your thinking cap on and come up with some better ones.

Why don't you start your other threads. Bet the boards can't wait for your new nuggets of information

I can hardly contain myself

Fireflyaway

For me its not that I feel insecure or think my husband is particularly untrustworthy. Its more that you can never 100% know what is in someone else's mind , how they might act when you are not around or how they might change over time. If you really don't trust your partner that's not good and needs dealing with. However merly being aware that you are not immune from ever being lied to / cheated on seems sensible. Scores of people are betrayed and never saw it coming so it stands to reason that unless your partner is looked in a room 24/7 with no access to anyone or anything it could happen!